How do I stabilize?

[[cr...]]

I usually take 4 pills a day, totaling .36mg of ativan. I took an extra pill on saturday because withdrawal was so bad. On sunday it didnt seem like I needed hardly any ativan so I only took 2 pills. I felt pretty good sunday for some reason.

 

I'm either having serious withdrawal or unpleasant side effects from taking the drug. It seems like I'm constantly swinging one way or the other. How do I stabilize?

 

I suffer paradoxical reactions to the prescription. I wonder if jumping from where I'm at would be possible? Or doing a faster taper... probably can't do either to be honest. Too much withdrawal. I'm going to be miserable either way.

 

I also split my individual doses down the middle and take them an hour apart to avoid taking too much ativan sometimes. While other times I take the dose whole. I feel like this could be contributing to unstable blood levels in my system.

 

I really don't know what to do. Advice?

[[bl...]]

Stabilising is where you stay on the same dose at the same time daily with no deviation or 'rescue' doses until your withdrawal symptoms start to share to tolerable level. This has different meanings for everyone. You are not paradoxical you would have been in a and e after the very first tsblet if you were as you would have experienced that set of symptoms on the pil that says seek urgent medical attention if you have the following. You do not become paradoxical to a drug that word us chucked around this forum to the point where it has lost its meaning . My opinion fwiw is that your taper is too fast for your nervous system to cope with the harsh symptoms is your body telling you that. Speeding up will possibly make you sicker this quick get off I'm paradoxical thing people advise in my opinion is silly and potentially dangerous and untrue but that's my humble opinion.

[[cr...]]

I disagree. Taking the pill makes me feel sick. It's not a desirable feeling. Ativan feels nothing like when I first started taking it. It makes me anxious and gives me numerous strange sensations in my head. These don't seem be withdrawal symptoms as they are directly related to taking each dose. And wear off when the drug wears off. I would think these are paradoxical reactions. Especially considering my reactions to taking whole doses in the past few weeks. It felt like I had overdosed. I was extremely agitated and almost went to the ER.

 

Either way, I'm still having lots of withdrawal despite a slow taper. The paradoxical reactions aren't the only issue. I need a window desperately.

[[To...]]

I usually take 4 pills a day, totaling .36mg of ativan.

crescentlite, just curious, how are you taking 4 pills and getting .36mg? Are you using a scale and crushing pills or taking slivers?

[[bl...]]

I was convinced the benzos were making me sick as I got really bad withdrawals within minutes of each dose I was encouraged from bataid this was normal and several weeks later this went away completely and I have never had it since at any point of my taper which has been ongoing since mid November

[[Ni...]]

I disagree. Taking the pill makes me feel sick. It's not a desirable feeling. Ativan feels nothing like when I first started taking it. It makes me anxious and gives me numerous strange sensations in my head. These don't seem be withdrawal symptoms as they are directly related to taking each dose. And wear off when the drug wears off. I would think these are paradoxical reactions. Especially considering my reactions to taking whole doses in the past few weeks. It felt like I had overdosed. I was extremely agitated and almost went to the ER.

 

Either way, I'm still having lots of withdrawal despite a slow taper. The paradoxical reactions aren't the only issue. I need a window desperately.

 

My experience (a year and a half ago) was something similar to yours. I ended up, at the time, being afraid to take the bit of a pill, each time.

 

However, you seem to be in tolerance withdrawal, like I was, and in that condition, we are temporarily between a rock and a hard place, seemingly unable to  deal physiologically with taking the pill and unable to deal with not taking it.

 

Difficult though it is, my advice would be to continue with your slow taper as planned and try to put any reactionary response aside as "just another symptom". It is temporary and after you reach zero, it will no longer be an issue.

 

For now, your body both needs yet would rather not need these small doses - if that makes sense. That's the dilemma. It will evaporate as you taper fully.

[[bl...]]

If you are just going to 'disagree' then why come on here and ask for advice on the first place unless you are wanting someone to tell you it's best to do a rapid taper as you are 'pardoxical' which is unlikely , don't worry someone at some point will come along and tell you what you want to hear - good luck with whatever you decide to do but a slow taper will always give a better result than a fast one and is less likely to produce protracted withdrawals after jumping

[[An...]]

I agree with the slow taper. Continue on with that. I am in the same boat. It seems the medication that has helped me for 20 years now gives me more symptoms. I think it is just my body wanting more and I am not giving it enough so I feel the symptoms. I believe this will all pass once we are off the drug. That being the goal, I would just continue on with the slow taper at a acceptable rate, like 7% a week at most. A rapid taper could make the symptoms even worse.

[[Su...]]

Crescentlite,

I know that when I get a blood serum level that is relatively stable then I feel better.  Better is also a relative term as the whole thing has created sxs. But better than if I try to mess around with my dosing schedule.  It can seem counterintuitive to take something that makes you feel sick, but it may be that your body is dependent and is reacting to the changing levels.

I know with Xanax, also a short acting benzo, I needed to look at a few days of how I felt to see what the pattern was to stabilize.  And I felt cuts about 3-5 days out, again a bit counterintuitive but....

I wish you a good day and some info that is helpful at this time. 

SS