Month 12, Im much better. Stable at 95%.

[[He...]]

Hey

 

So after one year, almost all my symptoms are gone.

 

My symptoms were:

 

Agoraphobia, Agitation, Anxiety, Apathy, Anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure), Crying, Depression, Despair, Dysphoria, Fear (generalized fear), Fear of dying, Fear of losing control and going insane, Fearing symptoms are not withdrawal, Fearing that you will never get better, Fear of life, Fear that symptoms are permanent, Feeling emotional, Feeling frightened, Feeling hopeless, Frustration, Inability to appreciate humour and laugh, Inability to feel emoticons, Inability to feel joy, Inability to feel pleasure, Internal feeling of anxiety with no corresponding, external cause, Irrational fears, Irritability, Lonliness, Low mood, Nervousness, No feelings of fun or laughter, tinnitus, Obsessive thoughts, Overwhelmed feeling, Rapid mood fluctuations, Sensitive feelings, Severe negative looping thoughts, Terror, Hypervigilence about symptoms, Difficulty in distracting oneself, Feeling disconnected, Feeling drugged, Feeling freaked out, Feeling like a zombie, Feeling numb, Feeling scared, Feeling that you're just going crazy, Feeling traumatised, Feeling unreal, Getting worried over small things, Horrid and morbid visions, Images and songs keep repeating in mind, Inability to relax or sit still, Intrusive thoughts, Jumpiness, Loss of sense of identity, Misperceptions, Morbid thoughts, Obsessive and compulsive thinking (OCD), Intrusive toughts, tinnitus, Pacing, Panic attacks, Racing thoughts, Reduced stress tolerance, intrusive memories, Thinking you are mentally ill, Unwarranted feelings of guilt, Vivid dreams, Weird thinking, Weird feeling, Derealisation, Depersonalisation, Distortion of body image, Feeling like legs and arms are not attached to body, Confusion, Delusional thinking, Disorientation, Can't do tasks like make food, Difficulty reading, Difficulty thinking, Impaired cognitive skills, Impaired communication skills, Inability to focus, Inability to function, Inability to learn, Jumbled thoughts, Lack of concentration, Memory and comprehension problems,Inability to think,  Poor judgement, Poor memory, Short-term memory problems, Slow thinking processes, Avoiding friends and people, Inability to occupy oneself, Bloodshot eyes, Blurry vision, Difficulty seeing, Flashes of light in the eyes, Fuzzy eyes, Glassy eyes, Pressure in the inner ear and outer ear, Red burning eyes, Sore eyes, Swollen eyes, Tearing eyes, Uncontrolled eye movement, Buzzing noises, Chest pains, Fast heartbeat, Heart palpitations, Severe pain chest, Tightness in chest, feels twisted, Cranial tightness (felt my head was decompressing), Face spasms, Inner tension, Muscle spasms, Rigidness and jerks, Muscle aches, Muscle cramping, Muscle tension, Muscle weakness (especially in the legs, arms and hands), Tension in neck, Tight achy muscles, Tight jaw and temple, Tight head, Tight muscles in left leg, Tight muscles in neck and shoulders, Gas, Knot in stomach, Loss of appetite and weight loss, Severe pain in stomach, Dry mouth, Severe head pain, Difficulty breathing, Intolerance to music, Sensitive to music, Sensitive to loud noises, Brain nerve pain, "Electric shock" sensations, brain zaps, Anxiety dreams, Frequent awakenings during the night, Horrific nightmares, Hypnagogic hallucinations, Jolts that wake you up, Lack of deep sleep, Poor sleep, Rebound REM sleep, Severe insomnia and tiredness, Weird dreams, Brain fog, Frozen feeling (like I need to get up and do something but can't do the action), Lack of energy, Lack of motivation, Loss of sex drive, Mental and physical exhaustion.

 

and now Im just dealing with some intrusive thoughts that are in my head.

 

Im in a 95% background. During the day I can have oscillations 95-100%. Some days better than other. My days are almost as they were before. i can do everything I did. My brain is working almost 100% for everything. But when Im not busy, I still have, one or another harm intrusive thought ocd related. But it so much easier get off these thoughts.

 

My waves are now 95% days. They last 1-2 days, then they come back to 95-100% oscillating days.

 

Physically I have energy. Constant energy along the day.

 

My sleep is oscilating 6.5-8 h. When I dont do exercice, the quality of my sleep is worst and 6.5 h. When I exercice, I have 7-7.5 hours and I wake up with my mind 100% clear. I think I overcame my insomnia (main problem) with the things Ive learned during WD. This is why I say: benzo WD made me better in everything.

 

My work is scientific calculations. During WD I thought I would never do it again. I started working last month and Im working better than before, even not healed. Im doing it better than before WD. I dont feel me healed yet but my thinking speed is so much fast. My memory is almost 100% back. I can remember codes, full phone numbers, etc. I didnt do it even 6 months before WD.

 

These are my last symptoms. But as Im now I can do my life already. But I hope the rest will go away.

 

Sometimes I still dealing with stupid harm thoughts, mainly when Im tired or didnt eat for some hours. But I dont give them any value. And they produce weird sensations in my brain. But anything compared to what it was.

 

I can feel positive feelings. I value everything. Its like discovering the world again. I feel a weird sensation (but a nice one) when I see normal things like they were new. Like discovering how the things are even I know how they are  .  Sometimes I look to the things and just observe them and feel how is to have a almost balanced brain. Everything is so clear. This is like a spiritual experience for me.

 

I think Im better. I hope this gives ou hope. I will just post my success story when I feel me 100% healed, hope it will happen in the next months.

 

keep going

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest [re...]]

Congratulations, that's amazing!! How long were you on benzos if you don't mind me asking. I'm closer to the end of my taper and this gives me hope! I wish you continued healing to get to 100% soon!!

[[pu...]]

8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

[[Ni...]]

Very powerful.

 

Thank you.

[[Kl...]]

Thanks for the update, very good news! Hope to be following you shortly!

[[Be...]]

very good news! Thanks for this update and glad to hear you are very close!

[[So...]]

I am SO SO SO SO happy for you!!!! What a wonderful feel to see your symptoms disappear and your life come back! Enjoy every second of being almost healed and I know the tiny remaining symptom will drop away as well! Thank you for being so kind and coming back and giving other people hope here who so need it!

[[Si...]]

Wow this is great!!! So happy for you!!!

[[Ca...]]

That's amazing! you have come very far! it can't get worse now

keep going!