28 months. Could this really still be a wave?

[[Bu...]]

I haven't been here for awhile, but would be interested in hearing from people who felt they were mostly healed and then experienced a wave. I was traveling in France last month and was just about to write my success story when I decided to hold off after extreme fatigue after walking 10 miles.

 

Now to put that in perspective, my worst withdrawal symptom has been weird energy crashes...I think it's due to a dysregulated HPA axis from benzos. It used to happen all the time for no apparent reason and put me in my bed for days. I couldn't manage any exercise for years during my slow taper. But just like knowledgeable people here said, those incidents became fewer and farther between over time and less and less severe.

 

After a half day resting in Paris, I recovered like a normal person and walked 2 to 6 miles daily for another week. Came home, took it easy for THREE weeks and went to visit my son in San Francisco last weekend. Walked 3 miles two days each and had a way MORE severe energy crash with a squeezing sensation in my extremities. I hadn't seen one like this since I randomly and weirdly needed a wheelchair in an airport two years earlier. I literally could not take steps and wondered how I'd make it home. Weirdly, it completely cleared four hours later.  I would've bet 100 percent that incidents like this were in my past.

 

I've also been struggling with headaches and way more muscle tension that seems to be slowly ramping UP over recent months. I'm 53 and perimenopausal so I'm not sure what is what! Encouragement and advice appreciated

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

I'm not one to point a finger at benzo use or withdrawal this far out, but I'm sure there are some people who would.  I think that it might be a good idea to get a physical and to share this fatigue issue with your doctor.  The wife of a friend had a similar thing going on (increasing fatigue), and it turned out to be a heart valve.  She got it fixed, and her strength is returning.  Or maybe this is a hormonal thing???  If fatigue correlates with menopause, I'm sure there are tons of studies on the topic. 

[[Bu...]]

Thanks Badsocref. I could see how the muscle/joint pain could be related to shifting hormones during menopause, but the fatigue/weakness thing has always been a neuro/benzo thing for me...my primary sx. This weird profound weakness which was what initially led me to recognize tolerance and taper off. I saw tons of doctors and of course nobody knew why.

 

As I said, during my 3.5 year taper these "episodes" of weakness have been fewer and fewer and farther apart in a clear trend towards recovery. I'm just shocked to have another one here two years after the last I guess.

[[Su...]]

Hello Bubbles,

It seems I'm on a similar time frame as you for withdrawal.  I'm 38 months out from a forced cold turkey withdrawal from 4 year use of Ativan. 

For 1 year, I suffered with severe withdrawal and then for the 2nd year the duration of withdrawal symptoms lessened and normal times happened more often.  Had some minor symptoms during 3rd year, but the past 3 weeks been dealing with major symptoms that sent me to ER and doctors visits 2x.  Withdrawal symptoms didn't enter my thought process until about three days ago.  The symptoms are all too familiar and medical tests have shown nothing wrong with me, so I knew it was anxiety but I never connected it could possibly be protracted withdrawal symptoms.  But my irrational thoughts triggered that idea.  And the overwhelming sense that I'm not normal and something is seriously wrong.  This was a common thought during my withdrawal. 

Reached out to this group hoping form some clarity to this situation and support from others that may have some experience with this. 

[[Bu...]]

Wow Suzee. Keep me posted, will you? It's like PTSD isn't it? It's like I've forgotten I've been here before. I really really thought I was over all benzo stuff. Then I told myself, you can't blame every health issue on benzo withdrawal forever! But it IS the same old symptom that completely disappeared for two years...and I know doctors are not going to have any answers. Been there done that hundreds of times.

 

My advice to you if you're feeling anxious about this is to do your best to be good to yourself while you ride this out over a few weeks to see if it lifts. If it does, then there's your answer. You've done your due diligence by seeing doctors who have told you they can find no medical issue. I think for me the hard part is putting myself back into "go slow and take it easy" mode because I've been firmly in "celebrating life and go-go-go" mode for a long time now. But I will be working to take my own advice here

 

PS Just realized I am TWENTY eight not THIRTY eight weeks out so I corrected this in the post above. Brain is seriously not working today!

[[Su...]]

Thanks. Identifying that it could be contributed to benzo withdrawal has helped with my anxiety level.  I'm like you thought I don't want to blame every health problem on the benzo withdrawal but it seems to correlate to that so much. 

And I've never compared it to PTSD abut I will agree with that.  It is so discouraging to deal with and I hate to see my family suffer because of it, but they are patient and a great support and for that I am very thankful. 

Keep me updated on your progress as well.  Thanks for reply

[[Bu...]]

Hang in there! I think it's PTSD-ish for everyone that's traveled this road together with you/me. At first, I was like "Why is my husband freaking out?" and then I remembered that he's had to pick up the pieces of our life more times than any spouse should with my random all-of-a-sudden-everything-seems-dire out-of-the-blue issues.

 

We are so fortunate though to have supportive family. Let me know if/when you're feeling better Suzee and I'll do the same!