Tips for staying hopeful/optimistic when you feel your mind/body are harming you

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I've gone through a lot this year to get to this place. I was floxed early in the year (which harmed my GABA receptors) and caused months of pain. Then I was put on a benzo short term, which should have not happened in my compromised place neurologically. My dad died, my sister got cancer. Too much.

 

I am having a very hard taper despite my slow pace. I used to be such an upbeat, optimistic person, but I feel run down by the induced fear, fatigue, physical sxs...and unknowns about the future (not to mention life stress). For those of you who are symptomatic but are finding ways to cope, or to see the light, how are you doing so? What keeps you optimistic or going on your hardest of days? I want so much to lower my stress, but the taper looms, as do fears about losing my job (and sometimes my mind).

 

Thanks  buddies.