Feeling Terrible

[[Mi...]]

Please anyone - I'm only half way through the taper.  I started at .5 of Ativan.  Taken for about 12 weeks.  I've been at .25 three weeks tomorrow.  I'm so SICK.  I feel like I'm going to truly die.  I thought I was going slow enough.  1/8 off every 3 weeks.  Maybe I cut the pill not even enough.  I'm weak, my whole body HURTS - joints, muscles.  Very weak.  Yesterday the anxiety and fear in my stomach were terrible.  Please are these symptoms that are so bad right now - what is "normal".  What is to come?  I'm not sure I can handle this.  Please someone tell me if I'm O.K.  THANK-YOU!!!

 

[[...]]

You are ok! Know that for sure! So many times I thought I was dying! My body felt horrible and my mind was telling me to be very very afraid! It's the worst feeling ever. You will get through it. Sending my love and support and best wishes for a complete recovery!❤️🙏

[[Mi...]]

Thank-you, SJS.  I'm so scared. 

 

[[Th...]]

Hi Missingme, yes you are OK! It is benzo w/d causing the horrible things.

 

Your symptoms are tied to your dose cuts so nothing else is causing them. I have been in same situation. Symptoms comes and goes so hopefully near future is easies for you. Feel very sorry about what you are going thru. I know it is easier to write than do when you have pains but maybe something you can do is to get to know withdrawal if you haven't done it yet. In my case it made my feeling little bit better and removed scare by reading and understanding what is this all about...

 

I really hope your symptoms relieves! T.

[[ml...]]

You are ok...you got this, only you feel the total opposite. It's ALL WD, it truly is. 2 1/2 years ago, I withdrew from Ativan and it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I don't say that to make you scared, or feel worse, but more so you can KNOW with what you are feeling, that yes, it's normal to feel like your dying.  The WD process is really, really tough, so just breath, breath, breath and distract yourself with whatever you can. It will get better in time. This healing takes a ton of time and there is just no shortcuts unfortunately. I was so, so sick, I was sure there was no way I could live thru it all, but here I am, over 2 years now and i have my life back! You can do it.

 

Hugs and strength as you battle thru! 

[Guest [re...]]

I promise you are ok and everything you're feeling is normal benzo withdrawal. I'm a little over 75% through my taper and boy has it messed with my head. I thought for sure I was a goner many, many days. But I'm still here! You will have horrible days and then you'll have tolerable days. The roller coaster ride with the wd is so scary and frustrating. Try to remember that it IS withdrawals, you are NOT going to die (although you feel certain you are), and people get off these drugs all the time. If they can do it, we can do it. You'll find strength in yourself you didn't think you had. Hopefully things will ease up throughout the day. We're all here for you. Hang in there. Sending hugs 

[[Mi...]]

Thanks so much Thomas, mlmagic, and redpeach.  I truly appreciate your reaching out to me and the information you gave me.  I will try very hard because I want my life back to.  My poor husband has been through so much with his own health these last few years (not drug related) and then this with me for a whole year because I didn't know anything about inter dose withdrawal and wasted 6 months being sick.  I've been praying and praying like so many of us I'm sure. 

 

mlmagic - there are so many abbreviations, etc. I don't understand yet on here.  What is PRN that you mentioned.  THANK-YOU AGAIN - all of you!!  I wish you all the very best always.

 

[[ml...]]

Thanks so much Thomas, mlmagic, and redpeach.  I truly appreciate your reaching out to me and the information you gave me.  I will try very hard because I want my life back to.  My poor husband has been through so much with his own health these last few years (not drug related) and then this with me for a whole year because I didn't know anything about inter dose withdrawal and wasted 6 months being sick.  I've been praying and praying like so many of us I'm sure. 

 

mlmagic - there are so many abbreviations, etc. I don't understand yet on here.  What is PRN that you mentioned.  THANK-YOU AGAIN - all of you!!  I wish you all the very best always.

 

 

PRN means as needed. So with the Ativan for me, I took it as needed, for sleep and anxiety issues over 3 years. Little did I know how bad that was to take it that long, or off & on like that. My Dr never said a word. Some weeks I'd take it everyday, sometimes not for several weeks. I'm sure I suffered kindling, which is with each subsequent starting/stopping, the WD sx get worse & worse. Plus I CT, (cold turkey) Ativan...no tapering at all. I was 2 weeks in, before I was hit with a freight train and figured it all out...knew what was happening. Believe me, thinking I would die was an understatement. I think death would have been a welcome relief. We are stronger than we know though and somewhere deep inside, I fought hard and made it thru all the WD. If I can heal from a horrific & brutal, inhumane CT, you can do this taper. Just go slow and stabilize along the way. You can do it! 

 

[[...]]

Missingme: You are fine. Well you're not feeling fine but you're not dying.

I have the worst symptoms right now, woke up this morning and thought "This is the day I'm going to die from w/d"

Inner vibrations, pins and needles, burning face and head, anxiety, depression, heart palps, weak, very weak, sick to my stomach, tics in my face, numb on the top of my head, jelly legs, felt like I was losing my mind, crying spells, couldn't focus while looking at my husband, dizzy, etc.

 

That was 13 hours ago, I'm still alive. It's the w/d , it's very scary but you will not die.

So many brave people here on BB have done this before us, and going through it now.

You have nothing to fear but fear itself...

Easy to write, mot that easy to think during w/d.

 

Hugs

 

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Hey missingme,

 

I stopped .5 Ativan about 36 days ago.  I felt HORRIBLE the first 10 days and only got about 1 1/2 hours sleep per night...and it wasn't consistent sleep.  I had a pretty good 10 day window after that.  About 8 days ago I started getting some physical symptoms which I didn't experience at all before...even during practical cold turkey.  as someone said this is a roller coaster ride.  You don't know what it's going to throw at you until you're done.  I too feel like I am on deaths bed and then the next morning I wake up and feel pretty good....then at night I feel the reaper is back to get me as my symptoms flare.

 

It's a constant war and there is no easy way out.  I try to think rationally but it's not always possible in this endeavor.  You can do it.