Insomnia is driving me insane

[[La...]]

I feel like I've tried everything under the sun and no medication treats my benzo withdrawal induced insomnia. I've been averaging 1 to 2 hours a day of broken sleep for 5 months now. I feel like just throwing in the towel because I feel like I'm a lost cause. What meds or natural methods helped you during this horrendous time in your life? When did sleep return during your recovery? (My benzo history is in my signature.)

[Guest [ba...]]

Firstly - congratulations on getting as far as gotten.  6 mg to 0.5 mg is no small feat - and you did it in only 4-ish months.  fwiw - that's a pretty fast taper. 

 

It's hard to know when natural sleep will start kicking in.  You may need to finish your taper.  I know how hard this is.  I c/t'd from the equivalent of 1 mg klonopin (which I took solely for sleep), and I really struggled with sleep for a few months.  While it's not natural, the med that helped me the most to get 'some' sleep was doxylamine succinate (Unisom).  It wasn't good sleep, but I'd get a couple more hours if I took it compared with if I didn't.  It left me feeling really groggy in the morning, but by mid-morning the fog would begin to clear.  I also tried Benadryl (diphen).  It didn't work as well and would bother my stomach a bit after a few days use.  Melatonin did nothing for me (it works great now).  Valerian root did nothing except taste bad.  I sometimes used a little 'herb' as it often knocked me out in my youth.  It helped a little - mostly with sleep onset. 

 

Don't throw in the towel.  I know it feels really bad, but you won't actually go insane. 

 

fwiw - what's your plan for the rest of your taper?  Are you going to slow down or try to push thru this?

[[MT...]]

Lancers,

 

I know this is a really hard way to live and it feels like it will last forever. But it won't. Even the hard cases on here, and I'm one of them, eventually see sleep come back. You've done great making it this far and you're moving forward with your recovery. The feelings of wanting to throw in the towel are perfectly normal. I had them all of the time and lots of thoughts of not wanting to be alive. That's just how sleep deprivation works on the mind. It amplifies all that is dark and twisty.

 

Here's my wd/insomnia bag of tricks: any kind of exercise (even a 5-10 minute walk or yoga can be great), meditation/mindfulness (5-20 minutes most days helps shrink the anxiety/alarm center of the brain), avoid caffeine and sugar, write down 3 things per day that you're grateful for (some days for me it was stuff like not being in a zombie apocalypse or war zone), hot baths two hours before bed, blue light blocking apps/glasses, reading books on recovery from benzos, pass time by browsing imgur.com or something similar, read young adult fiction when your brain can't follow regular novels, and making yourself engage with life to the best of your ability. Do things around the house, make yourself call or meet a friend, leave the house and do something even if you feel rotten. Having stuff to do helps distract you from the tendency to focus on the misery and passes time. You don't have to stay busy since we need rest and to limit our stress but having something going on helps.

 

Resources:

 

Meditations: http://mindfulness-solution.com/DownloadMeditations.html

 

Sleep hypnosis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvez-mtlmD0

 

This gal had awful insomnia and got better: https://smile.amazon.com/Klonopin-Withdrawal-Howling-Dogs-Maybe-ebook/dp/B00O5GHT5E/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1500667865&sr=1-1&keywords=Klonopin+howling+dogs

 

Very comforting recovery book: https://smile.amazon.com/Recovery-Renewal-benzodiazepine-tranquillisers-antidepressants-ebook/dp/B071K757GF/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1500667912&sr=1-1&keywords=recovery+and+renewal+baylissa

 

You can do this. Even when your mind screams at you that you can't. I have a noisy, bitchy mind that's always screaming so I've had to learn not to believe everything it says, even be amused by it sometimes. Believe in yourself.

 

MT

[[So...]]

Anything can drive us insane if we let it. Sleep is essential for healing, and I can't believe you have been surviving with so little sleep. I have been doing DLMT since January and I have had to resort to Doxy about four times so far.  Recently my sleep has gotten a lot better; but since I go to a holistic doc, I have been also supplementing with Seriphos, Melatonin, and some extracts for sleep. They all work nicely with me, fortunately. Your cortisol levels may be too wired up, have you have them tested? I was diagnosed with GAD two years ago, and I have been taking Seriphos for the last three months, and it is helping  me sleep so much better to the point that I am very functional. Sometimes we feed our anxiety by they way we see our lives and the meaning we put into our thoughts. Being mindful of our thoughts is crucial to start controlling our though provoking anxieties; this will definitely put our adrenal glands in constant high gear without no stopping. Mtfan has good advice. I also recommend the Gupta approach to learn how to control our thoughts better and create new pathways in our brains to heal. Wish you get better, and don't lose hope!

[[La...]]

My plan is to keep pushing and stay on .5 mg for 2 weeks, then .25 mg for 2 weeks...and hopefully no more Klonopin after that. I was desperate to get some sleep last night so I went into my cabinet and took 100 mg of Trazedone that my doctor prescribed during the beginning stages of tapering off

The Trazedone comes with long list of side effects but it actaually helped me get about 4 hours of sleep last night (it was ineffective during the beginning stages of this process). With that being said, maybe I have healed more than I thought because the Trazedone didn't help 4 months ago. I really appreciate all the kind words, advice, and reassuring me that life does get better. That's just what I needed. Thank you, and I won't turn in the towel now or ever. Benzo withdrawal never had a more worthy opponent.

[[Ir...]]

That's the right attitude to fight this fight! 

 

My insomnia was nearly killing me. The lack of sleep, in my opinion, slows healing also.  I always felt 10x worse on the days I hadn't slept. 

 

I take 100mg of Seroquel and 800mg of Gabapentin at night for sleep.  I still struggle but most nights now I'm able to sleep at least four hours, even if it's broken.  It is way better than the 6-8 hours I was sleeping a WEEK!  I don't care what anyone says, sleep is important and I'm not just going to 'Wait it out'. I'm 7 months out, and I figure it's going to be another 5-10 months before I'm 100%.  And my sleep is improving.  Some nights I even get 7 hours with the meds. 

 

I'll taper both in the future, but I'm not worried about quitting either of them. Nothing can be as bad as benzo withdrawal. 

[[La...]]

Irishman,

 

I see you were on on an extremely high dose of Xanax too. I'm glad to see you're benzo free! I've tried Seroquel as well which worked, but couldn't deal with the side effects as it's made my RLS 100x worse. I agree with you 100% that nothing is worse than insomnia. I contemplated taking my life in the beginning it was so bad, but decided to ride the roller coaster. I also agree with you that sleep deprivation exacerbates the withdrawal symptoms. So I'll just taper off the Trazedone once I feel like I can sleep without it.