New here,10mg valium for 2yrs8months.advice

[[Sp...]]

Hi

 

My story short is 3 yrs ago I had 4 A@E visits for severe anxiety attacks.

On the the 4th visit the doctor prescribed me 1 box of 7 2mg valium which was like a magic life saver.

The reason I had the attacks was due to my 22 yr marriage breaking down and I new it was going to end deep down no matter how I tried to save it.

The thought of losing my wife and 3 kids was too much even though I thought I could cope with anything but somehow this smashed me heavily mentally.

So a few months went by and my wife told me to leave but stupid me continues to self prescribe valium as I just couldn't face another attack and the fear of dying again.it also helped me coping through the loss of my whole life which was my family unit.

So here I am on 10mg valium for 2 yrs 8 months and suffering severe tolerance symptoms which is hell.

So many strange and horrible things are going on mentally and physically.

I'm at the doctors on Monday to discuss getting off them.

I've been to a drug abuse group which wasn't much help apart from referring me to cbt,other than that I was put in a group sitting with heroin addicts that didn't even want to get clean and that didn't help one bit.

I'm not an addict,I am dependent on them but they don't work as good now,I've stuck to 10mg for nearly 3yrs and never updosed or abused any drug and I don't drink.

 

I will post up my current symptoms at another time as there's to much to put up.

All I can say is my life's hell at the minute and struggling to keep my job and even doing or going anywhere alone can send me into full panic attack.

 

Thanks for reading my post and best wishes to all of you stuck in this benzo hell.x

 

[[ma...]]

Hello Spooky1976  Welcome to Benzobuddies!

 

I am sorry about your marriage breakdown, its so sad. I cant imagine how devastated you must be right now.  Benzodiazepines are meant for short term 2/3 weeks, dependency develops very quickly with these drugs. You will come through this, it does get better, and you will get plenty of support here. 

 

Well done in your decision to taper off these drugs.  Tapering slowly is considered the best way to withdraw from benzodiazepines. Reducing your daily dose by somewhere between 5% and 10% every 10 - 14 days is the rule of thumb.  A slow taper helps keep symptoms manageable. 

 

I would suggest you read The Ashton Manual, It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body.  It provides Tapering and withdrawal information and includes a list of common symptoms 

 

Here, on the forum you will find some valuable support and information.  Our members are happy to share their personal experiences with you and support you.. Please feel free to browse the boards and post questions to any of the dedicated threads.

 

I'll leave you a few links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

 

Withdrawal Support

 

General Taper Plans

 

When you can, please add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  ”Create a signature”

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

[[je...]]

Hi Spooky.  I am sorry your marriage didn't work.  That is a sad thing and I'd imagine it's a very anxiety producing situation.

 

I was a Valium user for several years (10-15mg daily).  I would suggest you go very slowly (slower than you imagine) in your taper.  Hopefully by so doing you won't be toooo uncomfortable with withdrawal.  Not sugar coating anything - this will be a journey but you can do it.  It took me one year before jumping so don't rush. 

 

*****Please consider NOT telling your doctor that you want to taper.  Most BBs say that when they tell the doc that, they are put into much too quick of a taper and they are thrown in hell****  I didn't tell my doctor and kept getting the Rx filled (5mg) until I was ready to go down to 2mg.  At that time I told her I wanted to try and wean myself and I generously got enough Valium (90 days supply) to get down to jump stage.  Just be aware and don't cut yourself short with taper.

 

Good luck.

[[Sp...]]

Hi

 

Thanks for the replies and encouragement.

 

My current main symptoms now are

Confusion

Forgetting short term things

Short of breath

Scared to go anywhere alone

Dizzyiness

Heart pain which I've suffered a few months before my initial panic anxiety attacks,had ecg and eco cardio and said my hearts fine.

Heart pounds hard but heart rate it good when this is happening really I think,between 60 and worse 100bpmbut mostly 70bpm.

 

The heart pain and shortness of breath is my main concern and it makes my anxiety go up bigtime.

 

Is the heart pain and shortness of breath due to tolerance???

 

Thanks and big love to all on this journey x

[[je...]]

If you have "heart pain" and breathing issues, perhaps you should see your doc and have a stress test or other appropriate test.  If that comes back negative, then you can move past that and go forward with the process.  If you don't, those symptoms will drive you further into health anxiety.  Good luck.

[[Sp...]]

Ok so would a stress test be of any use while still taking 10mg of Valium nightly??

As the Valium half life will still be working to a degree to maintain my hearth rytham won't it?

Also while in tolerance will make my anxiety and heart rate go up and maybe bring on a full blown panic attack.

I have certain times I can exercise but mostly can't anymore.

I was a bodybuilder up until Feb this year when I started to struggle with my heart and breathing again.

I'm thinking that was the start of tolerance myself but just pushed it aside and give up training.

 

Thanks

[[Sp...]]

Hi

I've just done 20 mins on exercise bike at mid tension then followed by 2x40 press ups no problem.

But this is when I'm having no pain and what you would call a window of feeling pretty normal which never last long.

Do you think it's just tolerance withdrawal causing my heart tightness and breathlessness with being able to do those exercises??

 

Thanks

[[ho...]]

Hey Spooky!

 

So I can't  advise you on the stress test,  but what I can say is while I was taking valium,  in tolerance withdrawal and all that goes with it, I constantly felt like my heart was flailing. Heart burn too. Its crazy to me now to think just how all of that was benzo related. I know its difficult to accept, at the time it's happening to you it can be a jagged little pill to swallow however, I want you to know its a very real possibility that it's benzo related for you too! Hope this helps some!

 

Peace&Love

Hope&Faith

[[Sp...]]

Thanks hope&faith

 

It's getting to the point I don't want to take the pill,it's like taking it to stop things and taking it and feeling worse for it.

My life is in bits and can't lead a normal life at all with family and friends,even going out doing family things or traveling anywhere is a scary thing to do anymore.

It would be easy to up the dose but I can't do that to myself or my family.

Scared is an understatement.

I've just had a good hour or 2 of no symptoms and now my heart feels like someone has holding slightly squeezing it.drives me mad.

[[ho...]]

And jus to let you know, updosing is no way a guarantee of symptom relief whatsoever!

 

Take comfort in knowing that the fear and heart thing is all a part of what these pills do to a person. I know its difficult but this will pass in time....time....time...

 

Its only the pills, it's only the pills, it's only the pills....tell yourself this over and over!

 

Peace&Love

Hope&Faith

 

Btw...how long were you married??

[[Sp...]]

Thanks hope&faith

 

I was married 15 yrs and together 22yrs since school.

Been seperated 2yrs 9month roughly.found a loving partner who is my rock now and been together a year.

That's the hard thing too that she has to go through this with me and I'm not the man I use to be,she understands the best she can but only people who have gone down this road only truly know what it's like inside the mind and body.

I couldn't bring myself to tell my kids,though my 17yr old daughter has noticed I've lost a lot of weight.

I just tell her I don't train and eat the same anymore.

I prey I can beat this with out going through to much hell were I grab another pill to ease a panic attack that lands me in hospital again.

I never want to go through that again.