Might go c/t

[[er...]]

I woke up this morning after a pretty good night's sleep. The horrible hissing stopped the morning after my last cut. Except my brain hasn't adjusted to the lack of misery yet. It's like a lost child looking for it's abusive parent.

Anyhow. My Paresthesia wasn't too bad. THEN I took my .125MG morning dose of Klonopin. My Paresthesia went through the roof, from my head right down to the bottom of my feet. And ANGRY! WOW! I'm going to take tomorrows dose later in the day and see what happens. Anyone else feel worse after they take their dose? I think someone posted that earlier.

[Guest [re...]]

I've been thinking about jumping myself. My bp hr and dizziness have been getting worse about 2 hours after my morning dose. I am so tired from the low pulse and bp that I am wondering if the valium is just toxic now. I'm afraid to jump at 4.5 mg but I'm getting desperate. God help us all.

[[er...]]

I am wondering if the valium is just toxic now.

That's what I'm starting to think about Klonopin... I hate that .25MGs is equivalent to 5MGs of Valium. That's still a good chunk. I don't think I could feel much worse. I wish those idiots at Beth Israel had just left me alone to finish my taper off of Xanax. Everything was going just fine until they switched me over. If they were twice as smart they would still be stupid.

 

I'll tell you another thing. When I finish this taper I'm going to have a shit load of Klonopin to dump. I've been stockpiling it incase my current doctor drops dead and I'm forced to taper off of it. After the Beth Israel fiasco I became terrified of forced tapers.

[Guest [Le...]]

What happened to you is what happened to me. When I got down to 0.5mg Ativan, the doses revved me up instead of calming me down. At first I stretched the time between doses and then when I'd take it, boom!

 

So I stopped. It's been tough, but no tougher than what you're describing. I'm still glad I did it because that's when I started to get better. Sometimes listening to what your body tells you is the way to go, and mine rejected Ativan. 

[[er...]]

What happened to you is what happened to me. When I got down to 0.5mg Ativan, the doses revved me up instead of calming me down. At first I stretched the time between doses and then when I'd take it, boom!

 

So I stopped. It's been tough, but no tougher than what you're describing. I'm still glad I did it because that's when I started to get better. Sometimes listening to what your body tells you is the way to go, and mine rejected Ativan. 

Thank you I needed that. I put out an amount of Klonopin equivalent to the time I calculate that will be needed until my next cut. I just dumped a bunch of the foil covered tabs into my desk. That just shaved off 5 days until my next cut. I liked the crackly sound they made when they landed on top of the pile in the draw that I will be getting rid of. The Klonopin, not the draw.

Holding just doesn't work for ME. Or setting a target dose to hold at. I tell myself things like when I get down to .5MGs then I'll hold long enough to stabilize. But I never do. I'm sure a lot of people stabilize after holding. I don't. I'm not suggesting that anyone do as I do. You might end up really f**led up. One thing I will never do again is up dose!

Oh, and my ears stopped that horrible hissing three days ago when I went down from .312MGs to .25MGs. In 18 months my ears never stopped ringing for three days.

 

Oh, and for me, no: trazodone, amitriptyline, gabapentin, gabitril, valerian root, kava kava, b-vitamins, kratom :'( getting pissed off for no good reason, holding grudges etc. etc. etc.

 

Every day I do have one 50mL nip bottle of Allen's 101 proof, Grindin' Grape Schnapps Liqueur. I didn't say I was a saint