Jump to content
Please Check, and if Necessary, Update Your BB Account Email Address as a Matter of Urgency ×
New Forum: Celebrating 20 Years of Support - Everyone is Invited! ×
  • Please Donate

    Donate with PayPal button

    For nearly 20 years, BenzoBuddies has assisted thousands of people through benzodiazepine withdrawal. Help us reach and support more people in need. More about donations here.

What If...


[Ro...]

Recommended Posts

So, I am 67, 13 years on Xanax, 3 off.  Did 3 decades drinking diet  soda.  So, June 1, 2017,  I went off the sodas and, of course, aspartame.  This morning looked at how old I look and feel. Each passing month seems worse.  I was wondering what I would look like and feel like if I had never taken any of these poisons.  Too late now but a real sad commentary on where I took myself.  Sure many of you feel the same.  😢
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, Roemer, regret is something I carry around with me like a heavy burden day and night. But we have to move on. I drank a lot of diet sodas when I was younger, before I knew any better. I used to know a friend who would constantly buy six-packs of Diet Coke (or maybe it was Tab) and go through them one right after the other. I wonder what happened to her, how she's doing.

 

Congratulations on getting off them!! I wonder if your insomnia is any better since you're not on them.

 

I'll be 65 soon, and I know what you mean about being concerned how old you look and feel. I've been stuck in a certain pattern for a long time now, something I didn't ever imagine would happen or that I would want. Healing is coming at a snail's pace because I've made so many mistakes in this.

 

You are not alone!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How do you know you're not just experiencing normal aging?  My 67 year old wife, who amazingly has never taken a drug in her life, makes similar comments.  (She's not from a drug-marinated Western culture.)

 

I was a 3mg-plus Ativan addict for 20 years and never noticed a decline in my physical appearance or mental sharpness that I could attribute to Ativan use.  Unless I was in interdose.  Different story there, but that was easily and quickly "fixed."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Photo bug, I know it isn't just life because in the past three years, since I don't sleep, the aging has super accelerated.  Also, on the rare day I get good sleep, I actually look a little better.  Perhaps you didn't experience this because you could sleep?  I do continue walking and aerobic exercise. 

 

Terry,  thanks for sharing!  I actually had no trouble dropping sodas.  Some withdrawal but a walk in the park compared to benzos.  Took about a month.  So there we go...aspartame has these awful, toxic effects.  I was on for most of my life.  Yet, getting off was quite easy.  I drink an occasional stevia soda which helps.  Sleep seems worse, but may just be another benzo wave.  I did hope sleep would improve, but has not.  I feel I am just waiting to heal or die.  No life.  I am sure you can relate, sadly.  I try not to get to much into self-disgust, but find it difficult.  Such an idiot I was!

 

What mistakes do you mean?  Thank you so, so much for the support!😊

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • [...]
    • [ex...]
    • [Tr...]
    • [PE...]
    • [Bi...]
    • [El...]
    • [pe...]
    • [Lo...]
    • [JL...]
    • [ra...]
    • [Ro...]
    • [bi...]
    • [Le...]
    • [...]
    • [...]
    • [...]
    • [...]
    • [Mo...]
    • [gr...]
    • [Av...]
    • [...]
    • [Fi...]
    • [ca...]
    • [PP...]
    • [Ma...]
×
×
  • Create New...