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Currently in a psych ward


[Mu...]

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So yeah I'm back in a psych ward, I was completely hysterical and broke some stuff I felt very impulsive and it was for my safety and others that I went back to a psych ward, the anxiety is so horrible, they gave me effexor today but I don't want to take it again as it made me worse, I hope I can convince the dr tomorrow to give me buspirone instead... I have no words, I can't believe what's going on.
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Muilav--I'm sorry things got so bad.  Good luck convincing that doctor to give you buspirone--it makes sense not to take the effexor if it made you worse
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Thank you guys, I hope I get out of here benzo free at least, they don't do it c/t which is good but the dr wants me on a snri or ssri before he can lower my dose as I'm too anxious and depressed, he wants me to eat with other people and I really can't, trust me I tried, I was room bound before that so it's a shock, I hope and pray for the best, that's all I can do right now.
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So yeah I'm back in a psych ward, I was completely hysterical and broke some stuff I felt very impulsive and it was for my safety and others that I went back to a psych ward, the anxiety is so horrible, they gave me effexor today but I don't want to take it again as it made me worse, I hope I can convince the dr tomorrow to give me buspirone instead... I have no words, I can't believe what's going on.

 

@Muilav, God's love for you is bigger than whatever it is you are going through. You are under professional care and you can get through this and come out on the other side stronger than ever before. One day at a time. Hang in there.

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Muilaw: I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now. I understand that you won't take effexor, since you had it before with no luck.

Tried it myself once, it made me wanna jump out of my own skin.

Hoping that the doc will give you buspirone.

Eating with other people while feeling so anxious, that's just to much for you right now,,,can only imagen.

 

You will,  get better. Hang in there. I'm reading your signature - what a journey.

You have come a long way tapering.

One day at a time.

I'm not a praying person. But I will be thinking of you, sending you good vibes from Sweden ☺💕👍

 

 

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Effexor sucks, never helped me. Research says it does maybe it could help you. could ask for another different SSRI, cymbalta or something.  If not , go with the effexor, you can get rid of it later, you may not have to take it forever.  .  Busparone is very mild, probabably wouldn't hdlp much.

Take care, try to see this as an opportunity to get better.  Please do not feel stigmatized.  Pdople with diabetes gomto hospitals, you have a prescription drug problem, do not feel ashamed.

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I convinced the doctor to put me on buspirone but I think he still wants me on effexor, can't remember exactly what he said, anyways I forced myself to eat with others twice today and it was hell, I couldn't swallow , now I have a headache from all the anxiety and my tinnitus got worse, hope tomorrow is better...
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Muilav - I too have been in a psych ward and it wasn't much fun.  I was at the end of my tether and I thought hospital is the place they make you better - it took me a week to realise that wasn't so - and I got discharged after 1 week and thereafter handled things on my own.  If you are very anxious - an anti depressant might help you - but my experience is that they don't kick in until about 6 weeks of taking them.

I hope you feel better soon.

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Muilav - I too have been in a psych ward and it wasn't much fun.  I was at the end of my tether and I thought hospital is the place they make you better - it took me a week to realise that wasn't so - and I got discharged after 1 week and thereafter handled things on my own.  If you are very anxious - an anti depressant might help you - but my experience is that they don't kick in until about 6 weeks of taking them.

I hope you feel better soon.

The longest I stayed on one (Lexapro) was 17 days it might have helped with depression but I didn't notice a change in anxiety, my gut is telling me to get rid of benzos ASAP like within a week, I can't function like they want me to here, I'm hungry and can't eat because I'm so anxious and weak and they won't bring anything to my room, I can't even go back home in this state, my parents are sick of me and rightfully so, I'm sick of this torment, I feel like im cursed and destined to die in this state, can't even distract myself with my hypersensitivity.
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I too, have been in a psych ward. I'm amazed you're allowed to get on the internet.  We weren't allowed any devices, nothing.  No shoe strings, no razor, etc.  Hope you're able to get help there.  Prayers! 
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Muilav - I too have been in a psych ward and it wasn't much fun.  I was at the end of my tether and I thought hospital is the place they make you better - it took me a week to realise that wasn't so - and I got discharged after 1 week and thereafter handled things on my own.  If you are very anxious - an anti depressant might help you - but my experience is that they don't kick in until about 6 weeks of taking them.

I hope you feel better soon.

The longest I stayed on one (Lexapro) was 17 days it might have helped with depression but I didn't notice a change in anxiety, my gut is telling me to get rid of benzos ASAP like within a week, I can't function like they want me to here, I'm hungry and can't eat because I'm so anxious and weak and they won't bring anything to my room, I can't even go back home in this state, my parents are sick of me and rightfully so, I'm sick of this torment, I feel like im cursed and destined to die in this state, can't even distract myself with my hypersensitivity.

 

Really you do need to stick with an AD for longer than 17 days - I know its hard but you have to be patient.  I went onto Paroxetine and nothing happened for a month, then I got much better and my anxiety was much reduced.  I too felt like I would die, but I am still here and doing pretty good.  Believe me, you will not die, you will be better, look back on this and it will seem like another life.

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Muliav

 

So sorry you are having a bad time. 

I can tell you this from experience as a parent-they are not sick of you-they love you.  I have an epileptic son-when things become bad with him-I'm not dick of him-I'm tired of seeing him hurt and there is nothing I can do.  Believe me they care.  I care and wish I had the words to make it better. 

Keep posting so we can keep up with your progress-YOU WILL GET BETTER!

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Muilav,

 

Isn't there one single person you feel more secure with? I'm talking about other patients.

 

I also was in a psych ward. I found like four ppl I felt secure with.

 

If you told them you cannot eat and they would help you?

 

I ate with them. They gave me a sense of security.

 

You will not get out of there if you don't eat. Why aren't you allowed to eat in your room?

 

Maybe talk to some understanding doctor.

 

If there are no such doctors. Talk to a fellow patient who will help you eat in public.

 

I used to help a fellow patient eat when I got better. With another friend. Eating was traumatizing for him. But somehow we managed. It was really difficult. But he ate.

 

Your brain needs food. You don't want to stay in that psych ward forever.

 

The less you eat, the weaker you become. Less able to get out of there.

 

Try to figure out a way to start eating. Look for ppl who make you feel secure. Other patients.

 

 

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Muilav,

 

Isn't there one single person you feel more secure with? I'm talking about other patients.

 

I also was in a psych ward. I found like four ppl I felt secure with.

 

If you told them you cannot eat and they would help you?

 

I ate with them. They gave me a sense of security.

 

You will not get out of there if you don't eat. Why aren't you allowed to eat in your room?

 

Maybe talk to some understanding doctor.

 

If there are no such doctors. Talk to a fellow patient who will help you eat in public.

 

I used to help a fellow patient eat when I got better. With another friend. Eating was traumatizing for him. But somehow we managed. It was really difficult. But he ate.

 

Your brain needs food. You don't want to stay in that psych ward forever.

 

The less you eat, the weaker you become. Less able to get out of there.

 

Try to figure out a way to start eating. Look for ppl who make you feel secure. Other patients.

The reason why they want me to eat with others is because it's part of the therapy, there is some patients that I feel better with but it doesn't help a lot while eating, fortunately I have plenty of snacks that my parents brought me too so that helps, what sucks is that I have POTS and they don't even care it seems, I'm weak with the smallest effort and today I had a blood test done to see if anything's wrong, let's see...
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[2b...]

Thinking of you.

 

I've been through this, and it is a difficult thing to explain to those who have not experienced the anxiety of eating with/around/in the eyesight of others.

 

I'm not sure of the cause but I experienced this in Rehab and it was terrible.  Chewing and swallowing were very difficult.

 

It's as is you have to learn how to eat again - not fun.

 

Take baby steps.  Even if you can only eat 1/4th of the food served you, there is always the next meal.  And if you have to try over and over you will still succeed.

 

Take advantage of the snacks you have so you don't get too weak.

 

Know that others are thinking of you and hoping for a speedy recovery.

 

Let us know how you are doing.  We care and many of this have been through the same and have come out the other side.

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Hey Muilav,

 

Snacks will help you gain some strength. But your organism absorbs vitamins through regular food. And your brain needs all those vitamins so that its functioning improves.

 

That was my way of thinking. Was locked in a psych ward for 9 days against my will. I knew I had to eat vegetables, meat, drink milk. To make my brain stronger. To get out of this hell.

 

Nothing else mattered. I HAD TO GET OUT. I was totally task-oriented.

 

One 18 yr old girl stopped eating. She was anorectic. They did not care. Gave her a medicine which made her gain a lot of weight. She was desperate. Stopped eating at all. They did not even notice.

 

She was placed on a mattress in the corridor before nurses room, so they can see her. So she does not do anything to herself. She was brought to this unit to prevent it. But nurses had no clue whether she eats. They were only interested in keeping her alive on that mattress. And in giving her meds. She had not eaten for a long time. It was visible on her face.

 

Starving made her lose the will to get out of the hospital. She was there four months. I did not say a word to the nurses, cause they would use brutal methods. Chose her a diet and ate with her at a separate table. Swallowing every portion was a torture to her. She looked at me and swallowed. After two days, she was strong enough to wash herself.

 

Another colleague asked me to help him with eating. I was happy to help him with the aid of another colleague. He held him while I gave him soup.

 

Try to ask those people for help with eating. If they're still well enough to help other patients, they will be happy to do it.

 

Tell a doctor you have POTS. It's very important they know all your physical conditions.

 

They may be doing blood tests to check your benzo level.

 

Never took Buspirone in my life. But took Vistaril. They wanted to give it to me in hospital. For sleep. It is an antihistamine. Helps with appetite. I refused cause my brain was telling me I must eat the necessary minimum. I didn't want anything to enhance appetite. I have ED issues. I don't know if a person with tachycardia can take it. But children can take it. You may ask the pdoc about it.

 

You need to stay in hospital for two months at least in order to quit benzos more or less effectively. This is the procedure in my country. They always replace benzos with another drug and monitor the patient for a while. No guarantee you won't reinstate after that time at home.

 

They reduced my Valium from 40 mg to 20 mg during 9 days. Took me off of Ambien. My only "aid" was Lexapro 1,25 mg, which I had been taking for a long time already. I also was determined to get off of benzos completely. My only success was quitting Ambien.

 

I never reinstated Ambien but was back to Valium 40 mg in a few weeks.

 

Take care. You must believe in yourself. It's the only solution in times of crisis.

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Hello...  :)

 

Have they given you any kind of diagnosis? I'm bipolar and if I take an SSRI I feel it in one day. That's how I got the bipolar diagnosis... by the fact that the SSRI sent me into mania. It may work for you, but there are those of us, like me...

 

They should understand if you are feeling extreme anxiety that eating or being around any kind of stimuli can really trigger you and make you feel worse. Perhaps if this is the case... you could state plainly that your feeling triggered by interaction and need a time out to collect yourself. I know when I'm in high anxiety, I have to retreat... and go away from all stimuli...

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Ok update, my doctor wants me back home, he said that I'm way too anxious to stay in the hospital because of the eating problem and the environment, I didn't ask to leave and he's going on vacation and the replacing dr would be the one that got me hooked on benzos, since I have a bad relationship with him he deemed wise that it would be better to go back to tapering at my pace at home  :-\
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Hey Muilav,

 

That's very good news. Some ppl just cannot cope in hospitals because of anxiety. And there's no guarantee you wouldn't be back on benzos even if they detoxed you there for 2 mos.

 

I'm one of the people for whom the hospital is the ultimate trauma, so I understand you perfectly. I think I begged pdocs everyday to let me out and they actually did it after 8 days instead of 9, required for an observation. If the patient really is suicidal.

 

There was a lawsuit afterwards, if there were grounds for locking me up against my will. And the court concluded I wasn't suicidal and I wasn't a threat to my parents (as they stated when calling the ambulance).

 

The court stated I was a threat only to myself. Not because of a will to commit suicide, but because of self-harm. I cut my arm several times with a blunt kitchen knife in their presence.

 

Cause they created such a tension and inspired me such fear. We don't live together and they appeared unexpectedly in my appt. I didn't have time to hide myself in the bedroom with the cat and pretend I was sleeping, as I usually do. They have the keys to my appt.

 

I was in no way suicidal, only my skin was slightly wounded with a bit of blood.

 

Take care and fight for yourself at home. Now that you know the horror the psych ward is.

 

Estee

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