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mental angst


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I don't know if this is related to the anxiety or not, but I feel like I have some kind of mental blockage. The looping thoughts have gotten better, but I'm still in an almost constant state of what I call mental angst. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like my brain is looking for some type of threat to latch onto. Once I establish that there are no actual threats, and that the things that bother me never bothered me pre-benzo, I still seem to experience this mental angst that prevents me from moving forward confidently. I hope this is making sense. If I could put my finger on it and start working towards a solution that would bring some peace, but I feel like I can't even do that. So weird. Please help.
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I suffer from this EXACT issue. Although I can't say that I've reached the point where I can convince myself that nothing is wrong.. I have moments where I can discuss with myself that this is withdrawal and find acceptance, but yes I always have that feeling of doubt or worry, even despite not actually BEING worried. It feels like you just can't let go or stop ruminating over how you feel. I still have thoughts/threats that constantly pop into my head and it feels like I just can't relax and distract myself from it.

 

I do believe that it is withdrawal related, whether it be anxiety or not. You are not alone.

 

Did you have this issue in the first month of your withdrawal? If so, does it seem to be any better or easier to handle? I struggle the most with the inability to stop ruminating, it drives me nuts.

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Ya I had it in the first month. It just popped up around the third week. It has gotten a lot better, but still super annoying. It was so bad in the beginning I thought I would have to live in a mental facility. Ya I have the same ruminating problem. I'm at the point now though where it will go away if I'm busy doing something outside of the house. If I sit around that is when it starts to get bad again. I found self talk to help as well as my faith. It's just super annoying that this is still going on at 5 1/2 months off. I just got back from being with friends and I feel almost normal right now, and even hopeful about the future. Tomorrow is another day though.
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That's exactly where I'm at now. Stuck with these damn intrusive, looping thoughts for what seems like every moment of everyday. I can distract a little bit, but it always seems to break through. I'm not really able to watch movies or TV anymore and using my computer has become a difficult task. It seems like I have to be active with my body for them to stop. Really looking forward to this symptom getting better/going away, because I feel like I'm going to lose it.
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Hello,

    I resinate with what you wrote alot ! I am having a horrible what ever you want to call what that feeling of impending doom or your at the gates of hell what ever it is I've had it so so bad today. It was triggered when my boyfriend called the house phone and told me that he got a call on his cell phone about people from my job that I have been ducking and keeping my own cellphone off and he tells me they called his cellphone saying they were looking for me which is a first and I have been dreading talking to them because I have no idea what to tell them and not only that but they are looking for me because one of my good clients called them because they couldn't get a hold of me and this just has me crawling up a wall today crying all day since that phone call havent been able to call anyone back like i have no idea what to say to them and I cant have a phone conversation they will think I am crazy i know i dont sound normal on the phone. I feel like I am going to lose everything. I am literally shaking still. These are irrational thoughts though its not as bad as I am making it seem but my brain cant face it and its making me so terrified like I have had so many convos at work about work with clients having to tell them bad news. I know what I need to do but I cant get the emotional strength to do it I never felt fear like this before. What triggers you ??? Sorry about the rant but this is like crazy things going on in my head...

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Things like that use to trigger me too. I returned to college while I was still in acute. It was my last semester so I needed to finish. I looked in the mirror the first day of class and thought everyone is going to know I am out of my mind crazy right now. But I finished. My uncle and cousin want to come visit me on Sunday. I would rather not see them. I know exactly what you're talking about but it does get better. For me the real downer is that even though it is better it is still lingering much longer than I originally thought. I guess we just have to try not to lose heart.
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