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Fear Every Day


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[81...]
How do you deal with the fear that comes with this? I don't know whether or not it's coming from derealization or what but most days, I stay in bed engulfed with fear. I don't know how to force myself through it. I get so attuned to all the "off" things in my body like the odd mouth/tongue symptoms, then the weird brain sensations. I worry too about how surreal everything looks and feels. I just don't know how to make this better.
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When we focus on the symptoms of the fear and try to fight them we find that anxiety gets worse. The key is to accept the symptoms instead of fight, resist or avoid them. Anxiety is unpleasant but not harmful. There is nothing wrong with your body. Instead of looking at anxiety as the monster that it may be, try and observe it from a clinical perspective. It is just your nervous system that is trying to adjust and heal because of GABA deficiency.

 

There is no need to worry about it because it is not dangerous. Try to let the symptoms come and go without giving them too much importance. Easier said then done I know, but as someone who has been dealing with anxiety all his life, acceptance is the single thing that has been helpful to me more than anything else.

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[81...]
Thank you benzodamaged...it's very good advice. Here lately, I have been fixating on my body so much; like my hands, feet and tongue b/c they feel so different...I'm still in dp/dr and just find no comfort...I guess it's hard to rest in the symptoms sometimes b/c I feel no relief wherever I am...it's so hard...thank you for the insight..
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I wake up with a feeling of terror every morning and have a mental list that I go through that has of all my health anxiety "items". I would stay in bed but (1) I feel better after I get up and especially after I exercise and (2) I literally can't stay in bed because I have too much to do. So I fight through the fear and get up. I try and compartmentalize it the best I can but there are moments in each day where I am flooded with anxiety because of an intrusive thought. I physically hurt, too,  but because of tolerance withdrawal I am kind of used to it. So, my advice would be to fake til you make it...just force yourself to get up...establish a routine and stick to it.
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[81...]
Thank you Michelle...I'm going to try; just so hard...I've kind of given up my life-given over my responsibilities to my mother which is unfair but just having the hardest time feeling, even human...
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Hardtocope, I think I go through some of what you go through. It's not every day, but some days I am absolutely overwhelmed by fear. I fear the surrealness of life, I fear death, I fear work, I fear sitting around all day, I fear that my health is going to collapse in the next few years and I'll end up on ventilators. I fear that my baby sister may get sick and something may happen to her. Etc, etc, etc. Above all, I just feel intense fear of no particular thing. It all makes me naseaus, and I have a hard time eating or sleeping. I feel like life is ending. I try to rationalize that the things I fear aren't happening and likely won't. Then I think, but if they did, it would be the end of my life. Which makes me more sick. It is so hard to rationalize through it. I had some of these problems before I went on clonazepam, but never like this! And then, I wake up one morning and all the fears are gone, and none of the things that had me almost vomiting the previous day bother me at all. I am trying hard to come up with a coping mechanism on bad days, but it's so hard. I'm on here today looking for encouraging stories, because I just had the worst day I've had in a long time. I was riding home from a wedding over 500 miles away, and had an absolute nervous breakdown halfway home. The second half of the journey was pure torture. So here I am tonight. I hope the both of us get a good rest and have a better day ahead! God bless!

Icefield

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[81...]
Thank you Icefield for sharing. I can't seem to come up with ways to cope either...being that this hell nightmare has no linear healing...just don't know how to be day in and out...I'm sorry about your breakdown...I seem to have them daily now...just praying not to end up in psych hospital
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I don't know if this will help but it has for me a little.

 

Years ago I went on a diet (I gained quiet a bit of weight) and wanted to start walking to help lose.  Thing was I did not feel comfortable walking around outside so overweight.  So I started house walking.  I moved the kitchen table in the middle and the coffee table out and started walking all over the house.  I would count my steps as I walked to keep track.  I lost a lot of weight doing that until I felt comfortable walking outside.  Then I got a pedometer for outside and was walking 5 miles a day until I got sick from antibiotics (I wont bore you with the details as they are in the intro section)  Dumb doc but me on clonazepam.

 

Anyway - I could not walk while sick and I am now pushing myself to start walking again - but sticking to house walking again and the counting my steps.  It seems to have a therapeutic effect as the counting will drift your mind towards just that - counting.  Ill do about 400 steps - break - do more later....etc, etc.  And at the same time you get exercise and can walk as slow as you want or as fast. 

 

I used to do up to 20,000 steps a day.  I am now pushing for 5,000 and have done well the last couple days. At least if anything it will help your muscles regain strength and release good endorphins.  But counting might distract you temporarily, even if you do 100 steps at a time through out the day.  One caution -house walking while counting can be addicting, but it is a good addiction.

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[81...]
Thank you sweatpea...I may give it a try....got to get out of this depression; so fixed on the symptoms..
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Please do try it.  Don't let your attitude get in the "may try" mode.  You CAN DO IT!!!  It's so hard, I know - but you must push yourself.  Those little baby steps are the key to feeling better.

 

 

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I'm sending you a big strong bear hug!  I understand what you are feeling.

 

Just when you give it a go start slow (don't want you tripping)

 

When I first started I was so out of it that I was walking so slow a turtle could have passed me by.  But that improves each day and now I bet I could pass the turtle...lol

 

Also - if you have anyplace to sit outside - backyard, patio.  I find I breath and feel better outside than indoors for some reason and spend as much time out here now as I can.  The fresh air also does wonders.  By afternoon it gets hot here so can't be out as long as I like but I love the mornings when the birds are singing

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Not only am I sending you hugs but I am going to think about you all day.  I want you to get better.  I want everyone to get better from these evil drugs.

 

Now I'm going to push myself to go shower (and trust me - I dont feel like doing that at all)  Then I'm going to get dressed and force myself to drive around the parking lot with my son who is visiting me.  He can monitor me as I don't trust my driving or being a danger to others.  BUT - I am considering this rehap.  I WILL drive again and will do the baby steps that is required.

 

So as I think of you today - think of me driving around with anxiety in a safe parking lot with my son who will probably be a nervous wreck.  But he has been my inspiration and has been the one that tells me "you CAN do it mom"  slow and steady wins the race - like the turtle walk :)

 

You take care today and  will be thinking of you sending good vibes your way. 

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[81...]
Thank you sweatpea...you made me cry; I sincerely appreciate you and I'll think of you in that parking lot. I have a son too who is my motivation but at times, even that doesn't help...my greatest achievement in this life-my son...I don't want to succumb to these horrific meds...thank you again...going to add you as a friend.
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I'm new here and not sure how the add friend thing works but later will figure it out...lol

 

As the crying - it's ok as it is good for you.  Tears release stress.  I'm not sure if breaking any rules with a link but read this on tears....

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears

 

If I broke a rule just type in "does crying release stress" in your search engine.  The components are different in stress crying than other types of tears.

 

And I would love to be your friend.  My heart just breaks thinking of you feeling so down.  Now you hang in there today and get yourself a moving a little bit.  I have others tips for you, too - just need to get ready now as my son wont be here for much longer (he lives 3 hours from me and took a couple days off work.

 

I am so MAD at what these doctors have done to people and want everyone to get well.  Maybe you can explain to me how this friend thing works (I am so forum stupid)  and if you can even send private messages you send me as many as you need to feel better.

 

I'll talk to you later...........YOU WILL GET BETTER and I care so much...

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[81...]
Thank you sweatpea...I added you...I'm not completely sure how it all works either...I will private message soon...glad your son is down for a visit.
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I did really good driving today, surprisingly.  Tomorrow I'm planning to give a try driving to walmart using back roads..

 

I hope you are doing well tonight.  I need to figure this forum out better.  I never post on forums so feel stupid in that way.

 

Another thing that works for me is a really hard back rub.  I don't know why but if it soft it does not help and is almost annoying, but a hard pushing up the back muscles really loosens things up a bit.  If you have someone that can do that give that a try. And it seems to work better if sitting up and leaning over with a pillow on your lap instead of lying flat

 

I also have been drinking mineral water because all our water has no minerals.  I saw on you tube a lady that had anxiety and panic attacks who once started the mineral water they got better - so i thought, what the heck, i'll give it a go seeing it is something good for you.

 

I really hope you are ok tonight - seeing all these post titles of people needing help is mind boggling.  I'm so sadden by it.  I want to go read them all but my son is here and want to see him as don't see him much.

 

I cried today out of frustration - my son gets upset when I cry but I told him it's my therapy and is good to get it out, it makes me feel better.  He gets it now but I hate to upset him...

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[81...]
Thank you sweatpea....I'm glad the driving went well for you. I got to drive today too but still felt so bad. I pray to make it through this-the symptoms are really wearing me down with no relief in sight....at least you weren't on long...you should recover soon.
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And you will recover, too :)

 

YAY  for your driving.  It feels weird to get out and do that when you feel so bad.  But it is good to do so congrats you are making the effort!  Keep making the effort no matter how bad you feel.

 

Are you trying a little camomile tea in the day and night?  It helps a little to calm you down and helps to take away some inflammation that stress and anxiety does to your digestive track and muscles.

 

My husbands back went out the other day so OMG I freaked as son is gone now and I am cutting and this added so much more stress to me as I am the only one that knows how to get him back on his feet with certain exercises and massages.  My son is gone now and I needed to get some more Epson salt for him (as I was using it lately) so had to solo a drive to the store (luckily, cvc just around corner).  I was so proud of myself that I did it alone...HAHA.  Fears of having a panic attack in store was high (mostly in my head I'm sure) but I did it!

 

You might want to try the epsom salt baths, too.  Not only does it relax all the muscles and help detox the body, your body will absorb some of the magnesium that most people don't have enough of - which alone can cause anxiety.  I find taking one feels yucky when i first get in (for some reason baths and showers irritate me right now - like a suffocation feeling) but after 20 minutes soaking, when I get out I feel sooo much better.

 

Keep pushing yourself as much as you can do to do daily things you normally do.  I think about you all the time as you are the first person I really am having a conversation with here.  It helps me, too, as I feel how can I tell another person to do something if I don't follow the same advice.  So pushing I am even though I know your situation is so much worse.

 

Here is your big hug from me today>>>>> :smitten:  You're going to get through this. 

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Good Morning, HardtoCope...

 

Wishing today brings a little relief for you.  Each day is one more day to recovery, my friend.  Hang in there!

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[81...]
Thank you sweatpea...I think I'm caught up in doom and gloom thoughts today; so focused on my hurts and how bad this is...hard to see an end...keep thinking in my mind, there has to be relief somewhere...
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