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How am I going to do this?


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Sorry for the pity party but I just have to get it off my chest. I know I need to go back to work. It's been 8 months since I've taken a Benzo. But I still have all of this anxiety. I don't have a job to go back to... I'm actually going to have to interview. Which scares the crap out of me for some reason. I get anxious just looking for jobs... knowing that I probably will not be able to manage. This is what drives all of the depression... that I'll never be able to get back to a job I can respect myself doing. I don't know what to do... I can't sit around the house and find things to do anymore. There isn't much to do... more depression, more boredom and on and on it goes. I hate this life... it was good and now I just want it to end. This medi-go-round I was on for two years has totally ruined my life and me... I don't know how people get back on their feet without someone helping them out. There's no one to help me, even my wife is beyond frustrated at this point I think it would be easier if I was a woman for some reason... at least from a spouse relationship perspective... maybe not. I'm so frustrated... I just want to be a confident man again...
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The prospect of job hunting is a pretty stressful situation! My husband has stayed a job he hates because he won't go through it or the interviews. It's understandable you feel dread. Interviews just suck!

 

But look all you have been through. You may not be able to convey your experience in an interview but hold onto the fact to harness the confidence in yourself.

 

You know what is not working and take action. Your history proves this.

 

I know it's easy for me to say as I'm on the opposite end at the beginning having to leave a job because I can no longer do it. When I have to go back I'm sure there will be plenty of self doubt. For some reason this process creates a cycle of self doubt.

 

I'm not sure if what I'm saying is helping I just wanted to wish you luck out there. Take what you can get and move from there, that's my plan. I had a business that will likely not be an option so I'll be starting from square one. One more piece to pick up, but we have done it so far. Hasn't been pretty but we do it.  :smitten:

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I feel like I'm in prison for life... or worse because I have to attempt to do something that seems to be impossible
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Yer almost there. I'm just a little further along than you but I am getting my resume fired up as we speak and feel like I'm just about ready to get back into the game. I'm lookin at June 1st. 2 months ago I was totally not ready. You will know when yer ready, you're almost there  it will come
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