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4 day difinative window!


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In the week leading up to my 12 month mark I had 4 very difinative days of windows! Prior to this I'd had occasional days of improvement but this was a clear window of wellness and energy which happened overnight like a switch! I woke on Tuesday morning without dread, fear or fatigue, I wasn't trapped in my own head analysing how I felt I just woke up and wanted to get up and get ready which I did and went to work at 8.30am!!! I haven't done that in TWO years, usually when I wake I'm miserable and can't move for hours, on a good day dragging myself to work by midday but on Tuesday I went bouncing in full of energy all day and then went into the city for my daughters sports commitments. I was even happy, chatting away to my girls, turning up the music in my car singing, I kept saying to my family "I feel alive after feeling dead for so long, you don't understand how good it feels to be normal!!!"  This lasted until Saturday morning when I woke feeling a little off but still had hopes that the window would continue so I made plans for Saturday night but as the afternoon rolled around I started going down hill and by the time I was at dinner I'd hit a wall. By the time Sunday arrived I was back on the couch in tears...it still blows me away that when you feel well it's so easy to forget how bad it feels when its bad yet when the wave hits you can immediately forget how good it felt to be well and thoughts go straight back to the inevitable "I'll be like this forever". The window has stayed shut for me unfortunately but the 4 day holiday was pure bliss...it sadly made me realise I'm still much more unwell than I realised before the window, my thoughts changed, I lived in the moment and not in my head, I had energy and joy...it's truly cruel having a glimpse of my old life but at least I had a glimpse which gives me hope the old me is still in there somewhere. ❤️
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The same thing just happened to me last week at 17 months off!! It's so wonderful, isn't it? I'm back in a nasty wave now too. We will make it though...healing has to happen! Thanks for sharing this positive, uplifting post!

 

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