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Just back from Vaca! I did it !!


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Tomorrow will be 8 months completed since my CT from xanax and I have just returned from a family vacation to Florida....DISNEY no less !  I was quite worried about how it would go since I am still suffering symptoms and I didn't want to ruin the vacation for the rest of my family.  My worst current symptoms are a heavy, floaty, woozy, dizzy head.  I still have tinnitus which is usually worst in the morning and evening when its quiet.  I can hardly notice it during the day when other noises relegate it into the background. Sometimes I feel nausea, weakness and racing heart, especially in the heat (not good for Florida).  Anyway, I did better than I had expected.  Yes, I had the floaty head thing going on but I was able to push through it and function and even enjoy myself ! I'm quite delighted that I now have this experience under my belt in WD.  If I could make it through Disney, I think I can tackle my local grocery store !
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Wow. I'm impressed!  :thumbsup:

 

Congratulations on reaching a big milestone with such a great attitude. May I ask if you experienced much depression and anxiety, and when that might have improved for you?  Those two are my biggest issues now along with the cog fog and head pressure/pain.  Thanks

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Tomorrow will be 8 months completed since my CT from xanax and I have just returned from a family vacation to Florida....DISNEY no less !  I was quite worried about how it would go since I am still suffering symptoms and I didn't want to ruin the vacation for the rest of my family.  My worst current symptoms are a heavy, floaty, woozy, dizzy head.  I still have tinnitus which is usually worst in the morning and evening when its quiet.  I can hardly notice it during the day when other noises relegate it into the background. Sometimes I feel nausea, weakness and racing heart, especially in the heat (not good for Florida).  Anyway, I did better than I had expected.  Yes, I had the floaty head thing going on but I was able to push through it and function and even enjoy myself ! I'm quite delighted that I now have this experience under my belt in WD.  If I could make it through Disney, I think I can tackle my local grocery store !

 

Congrats!  I would say yeah, you definitely could make it through a grocery journey after Disney.  Though my guess is Disney is a lot more fun:). It sounds like you and I share the same symptoms.  I'm a little over 6 months off and experience "derealization" but this feels to me like the heavy dizzy head you describe.  I also experience tinnitus but it's not as loud & torturous as it used to be.  My heart sometimes races and flutter but thankfully not too often.

 

I went to a Vegas for a sporting event for my son at 4 months out and was scared out of my mind.  Like you I had a great time and it was such an accomplishment! 

 

Great job!

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Thanks Everyone!  It's so great to be able to celebrate with others who really understand the significance of these small victories !  ComingHome, to answer your questions about the depression and anxiety; I did experience some of both early on.  My story seems very similar to yours in that I was CT'd while in the hospital for surgery.  My WD symptoms didn't appear until 2 weeks post-op, after I was at home.  I believe that because I was so heavily medicated, that my symptoms were masked until all of the post-op meds ran out.  Then I was suddenly hit with terrible insomnia along with a host of other physical symptoms that I thought were a result of the insomnia.  Here's a short list: numb scalp and fingertips, dizziness and cog fog,head pressure, headache, weakness and "jelly legs", racing heart, anxiety, couldn't taste or smell anything, couldn't eat and lost a lot of weight in a very short time, burning skin on my back, shaking and cold all of the time, auditory hallucinations (especially at night) and distorted visual perception.  When I reported these symptoms to my doctors ,post-op, they decided that I was depressed and wanted to put me on an AD, which I declined and I haven't been back since. I had not experienced any depression before my surgery and I didn't feel like that was the issue. I expressed this to them and tried to explain that my symptoms were mostly physical but they were not listening. Like you, by the time I had done some research and figured out what was happening to me, I was already a month off and decided that I had already come too far to turn back and reinstate to do a slow taper.  I did consider reinstating at times when my symptoms were unbearable but the overall advice from others on BB was not to do it but to keep moving forward so that's what I did.  My depression was mostly based on how I was feeling.  I noticed a pattern of feeling better, even happy, in the evenings when my symptoms would lift and I would feel relatively normal for a few hours each night.  In the morning I would feel depressed or discouraged when all of the symptoms would be back.  It was a cycle that I repeated for many months. The anxiety was also mostly related to my physical symptoms.  I was very anxious about leaving my house because essentially, I could not function outside of my home.  I couldn't interact with others because I couldn't follow a conversation and react appropriately.  I heard words but couldn't make any sense of them when someone was talking to me.  My head was spinning all of the time and I felt like I was floating in another world.  Most terrifying was when I had to take my kids to their sporting event by myself at about 2 months out.  My husband, whom I had been heavily relying on for everything, was out of town and I would be totally on my own and driving for the first time.  I was scared but I got through it.  After that, I started pushing myself to do little things outside of my home until it got easier.  I went to the store and to the pumpkin patch with my kids and grandkids etc... I usually only did one thing at a time and for a limited amount of time and I always felt pretty "out of it" but each outing that I survived was something to celebrate !  I would say that the depression and anxiety was pretty much in the past by about 5 months out.  However, I am still dealing with head symptoms and I have to say that I can still get discouraged when I wake up in the morning and realize that it's going to be a spinning head day or when the fatigue hits and I can't do something that I was looking forward to.  The anxiety is mostly gone but I still get a bit anxious when faced with something that seems overwhelming (like the vacation) but neither is debilitating anymore. I try my best not to let the WD symptoms stop me from living life to the best of my ability and I can usually push through it when symptoms ramp up.  Sorry for such a long and complicated answer to your question but it seems that nothing in benzo withdrawal is really simple.
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  • 2 weeks later...
Disney is awesome to get through!!  The anxiety just thinking about going somewhere is sometimes worse than what we go through once there!  I know to much stimulus day after day ramps up my symptoms but a day of rest after I usually feel better.  I'm in my 8th month since jumping and the disconnect is the worst symptom for me, better some days but this month has been a tough one, but we will all heal and this will be a memory..and I can't WAIT for that day!
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Congrats! I too have a trip planned next month to Washington and it would be my 2nd month off of short term use. I have slight anxiety over it and sleeping in shorter bed but I won't let this drug take that this trip away from me!
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Jazz, it's great that you're not letting withdrawal stop you from doing something that you want to do! What a great attitude !  I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip! I have found that I tend to do better when I'm busy and occupied with something. Of course, there have been those times I've just felt too awful to push through the symptoms but I try not to give in to them if at all possible.
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Jazz, it's great that you're not letting withdrawal stop you from doing something that you want to do! What a great attitude !  I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip! I have found that I tend to do better when I'm busy and occupied with something. Of course, there have been those times I've just felt too awful to push through the symptoms but I try not to give in to them if at all possible.

 

Thank you so much for the reply! Yes I hear distraction can do wonders! I hope you are doing well these days!

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