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Mental, emotional, physical marathon that I did not train for...Help please


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The last six months has felt like six years :o : :(>:(. I did not know what was happening to me for 4 months of withdrawals and multiple ER, emergency care and Dr visits. Even though I told everyone about my medications, no one mentioned benzo withdrawal until I saw a new psych in April. I found this website and multiple resources from it in March, and I have been able to dismiss so many things that have occurred since then as withdrawal symptoms and nothing more. Before I was always guessing, and guessing the worse, testing and stretching my sanctity and sanity. Today, things are just very weighty- I have been running, walking or cycling daily and it feels like I've torn every muscle in my body instead of just feeling the usual soreness of working out. I have an upper denture that no longer fits right due to bone loss, and it feels like my jaw is broken, even though it's just sore. My wife and I have three boys- 6 and under and I feel I'm failing as a father with them because my creativity and playfulness seem stolen or broken , even though I am really just drained. I feel mentally and emotionally spent, day after day,  as I dismiss all the lies that pop up in my mind as I continually experience withdrawal symptoms- especially after I eat anything- blurred vision, stabbing pain in back on right shoulder blade, hard to correctly process what I'm hearing, foggy thinking, horrible belching, tingling in face, hands and feet, forgetfulness, overwhelmingly tired and muscle weakness and pain. Also, seems like I come up with new ways to try to let my wife in on what is going on inside me, so I don't feel isolated and start isolating from her and our boys. I can't tell if it's getting better today, yet I do know it  is making me a stronger individual. I told my wife today as we both were weeping, that it feels like I'm running a marathon every day that I didn't train for, so I'm training while I'm running it, and then I get up the next day and I run another marathon, with no rest or respite, and today I just feel the weight of all of it. This is the toughest thing I have ever been through. PERIOD. I just would like to hear today that healing is happening and what is happening to me is nothing worse than withdrawals, because the torment of these symptoms each and every day while trying to pass on love and life to my wife, boys and others I journey with is overwhelming  me today. To all those out there that read this...if no one has told you today: you are loved, there is hope, you are healing, hold on as you pull others up and get pulled up, choose victory over victomry, you are a fighter and fighting through this is so worth it, you are amazing, you aren't alone, fighters fall forward because they press in and go down with the intention of getting up, you are worth getting up, life is better because you are living in it. It has helped writing this and getting it out of my head. Please let me know if your out there fighting. I'm an encourager that today needs encouragement.
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This is a horrible thing to go through, BUT, it WILL NOT last forever that I promise you.  I too am feeling the same way as a parent and I can relate to some of your other symptoms, Isolating, depression ect.. I haven't begun to feel the physical w/d yet this time.  I got off of Klon back in 09 while getting off a long acting opiate at the same time, HELL ON EARTH, I don't know what drug was causing what symptoms lol.. but I got better.  I am not happy to be doing this again I can tell you that.  I am praying that last time it was mostly the opiate and this isn't going to be that bad.  :idiot:;D
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I'm right there with you on all levels. Especially the feeling like I ran a marathon I didn't train for analogy. I use that often when telling my family members what I feel like. Sending healing vibes and trust me I'm a year and a few months into tapering and I cant wait for this shit show to end either!
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[85...]

"Running a Marathon I Didn't Train for" should be the title of a novel based on someones full circle experience with benzo withdrawal.

Perfectly, simply describes this....

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How do you tell a real injury from a withdraw symptom? And how do you tell stomach flu or sickness from withdraw symptoms if you do not have fever? My son was sick and throwing up last night and I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. Just wondering about these questions, because my body hurts daily and I just have assumed everything I am experiencing is a withdraw symptom?
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If your son was up tossing his cookies, then I'd be on the lookout for getting it also.. could it be w/d? sure, but the timing is suspect.
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