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Ugly wave after my first really good window, discouraged


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Today has been one big long terrible wave after a few really good days. It was really nice having a few days where I could 'see the light' or whatever. Really encouraging and a reminder of why I'm putting up with this crap.

I can't really focus much, forgetting what I'm doing right in the middle of it, anxious, derealized, not fun. It's got me feeling down because it hit me first thing in the morning and today is my one day off with my bride this week. My hope is that tomorrow is better. I don't have to feel as good as I did for the last few days, but any improvement is welcome!

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Wow I could have written the exact same thing...I had a good thurs-sun ...now back into the shit pit  :tickedoff:.....well at least we are getting windows early!
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It may sound like a crummy thing to say, but it gives me hope that I'm having frequent good days so early after my jump. Seems like lots of folks around here have a much rougher time. I guess you and I are lucky!  It doesn't make these bad days feel any better though. I imagine recovery will be fewer and fewer waves and much longer windows, then one day the waves just stop happening.

If you haven't been doing this, exercise has been really helpful. I'm on a diet as well, down 30lbs from when I started in November, always encouraging to see pounds melting away!

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I haven't jumped yet ( a few more months I figure), but I deal with the same thing.  I have some really good days or even hours, but then it seems like something inside turns and says "so you think you were doing okay? Now you will pay, big time!"!!!! Boom!

The derealization is the worst for me.  It is really the biggest cause of anxiety that I have now. Oh, I have new things creeping in like tingling fingers and feet, but the derealization is brutal.  Like I'm on autopilot.

I keep reading that it all gets better with time!

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Can totally relate. Last week was horrible. The day before Easter, I had the most intense burning throughout my body I have ever experienced. And then that night it lifted in one fell swoop. Crazy. Last Thursday was another horrible day, then From Friday on, it's been pretty good. Just so weird how it can change so fast and so dramatically.

 

So for now, I enjoy the good days, and have come to the point where the bad days while painful do not get me down. Knowing the process helps immensely

 

It will end.

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[89...]
I am right there with all of you. More and more good days and then I have bad days and I get so discouraged. I feel like the confidant person I used to be but then I have a bad day and I am SO anxious and panicky about doing the things I used to do. I plan something and then have to get out of it because I don't know how I'll feel that day as it gets closer. I honestly feel like I have an impending fear when I know something is coming up where I have to be on top of things and way more anxious anticipating it. I so want to get beyond this fear. 4 weeks out and hoping and working so hard hoping it will get better. I keep pushing myself and I know it will. It's just gets exhausting. . 
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