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Almost 9 months off, but I think I'm ready to throw in the towel...


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Most of my symptoms  have went away but this low level anxiety, and most of all the Brian fog or dp/Dr is too much. My quality  of life stinks. Dp/Dr has improved a great deal, but this last bit has left me with brain fog that I can't shake. I'm not sure if this will ever get better, or if I'm stuck like this. My friends and family are very concerned about me, and I keep telling them I'm getting better, but I'm still isolated and not able to communicate often, so I think it's time. Not sure if the suffering is worth it.
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Please hang in there.  I'm nine months off today and had my biggest, brightest, widest window yesterday.  Just what I needed to renew my hope.  I know how hard this is, but it will all end....soon.

 

I watched this video today, and near the end she says nine months is when she had the biggest turnaround.  Please don't lose hope. You've come so far.

 

 

Hugs and solidarity,

WR

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If you're feeling ok besides the mental stuff you may consider trying ginkgo. Read the thread in alternative therapies. It really helped me with those things. There are some cautions so read through some posts. But I credit ginkgo with getting me from 50% to 80%. Cog fog cleared up very quickly for me.
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Please hang in there.  I'm nine months off today and had my biggest, brightest, widest window yesterday.  Just what I needed to renew my hope.  I know how hard this is, but it will all end....soon.

 

I watched this video today, and near the end she says nine months is when she had the biggest turnaround.  Please don't lose hope. You've come so far.

 

 

Hugs and solidarity,

WR

 

Thank NYC. I've tried so hard to just stay hopeful that this will end,but I'm losing hope. I'm usually a lot stronger  than this but this has brought me to my knees. I'm doing my best to hold on to my practice, I'm not sure how I've pushed through this long. My relationships are suffering, my practice and now my daughter really need me and I have nothing to offer her. I think watching me go through this has broken my family down. I keep trying to push, but I've reached my end. I can't do this another month, it's just too much. I'm grateful for the healing that has already happened, but I'm still feeling disconnected and this feeling is horrible!

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If you're feeling ok besides the mental stuff you may consider trying ginkgo. Read the thread in alternative therapies. It really helped me with those things. There are some cautions so read through some posts. But I credit ginkgo with getting me from 50% to 80%. Cog fog cleared up very quickly for me.

 

Thanks Confused, I will look into that.

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But if you go back on benzos you'll just have to do this taper and withdrawal all over again... And it may be worse the next time around.
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But if you go back on benzos you'll just have to do this taper and withdrawal all over again... And it may be worse the next time around.

 

Yea, I thought about that, the plan would be just to stay on them. I wouldn't want to, but I have to do something.

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Hi, i would not go back on it. Last year i CT Clonazepam ( doctor told me) and went back on it after few months and I did not get better even when I was on it.  I was sick on it for 2 and half months and fast taper the second time. Bc I went back  I'm paying for it now. The withrawl is much much harder now and I'm suffering for 10 months out with no window.

Is not guarantee it will help you if you go back on it. I would not do it. But is your body and you know how much you suffering.  Many times I thinking to go back on it too but here I have a lots of good friend who alway encouraging me to stay away from benzo. I'm very greatfull for that.

I hope you will find some relief soon.

Hope and healing

VIca

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But if you go back on benzos you'll just have to do this taper and withdrawal all over again... And it may be worse the next time around.

 

Yea, I thought about that, the plan would be just to stay on them. I wouldn't want to, but I have to do something.

 

Don't quote me, but I really don't think that's possible unless you continue to increase the dose for the rest of your life. Tolerance will set in, and WD from tolerance is also hell. I'm saying this as a 17-year user, who lost 11 of those 17 years to all-consuming illness - mentally and physically.

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If you're feeling ok besides the mental stuff you may consider trying ginkgo. Read the thread in alternative therapies. It really helped me with those things. There are some cautions so read through some posts. But I credit ginkgo with getting me from 50% to 80%. Cog fog cleared up very quickly for me.

 

I read a large portion of the posts. I'm going to get some tonight. I hope it helps with the visual sensitivity,and the cog fog. Iwill start a low dose tonight.

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Thanks everyone I took some folic acid and it really helped me feel better. I don't feel as disconnected, but I still feel a little dizzy, but it's not to bad. Thanks again. This journey is so hard, I'm praying for us all.
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We've spoken a handful of times on here.. I jumped about 3 months after you and was a short term user as well..

 

While I can't offer you any answers because this nonsense is just as confusing to me, I can tell you you're not alone and hang in there.

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I just knew that at 1 year out I would be healed. That's when I got hit with another wave that was very discouraging. My dizziness came back with a vengeance. Muscle spasms and jaw pain returned. It took a few months for it to slowly get better. Give it time, you will get better.
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But if you go back on benzos you'll just have to do this taper and withdrawal all over again... And it may be worse the next time around.

 

Yea, I thought about that, the plan would be just to stay on them. I wouldn't want to, but I have to do something.

 

I was off 2 years and reinstated. It only works for so long then its 10x worse coming off again. Keep fighting at all costs.

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I'm at 9 months and your description of symptoms could be straight from me! I'm feeling the same way you are. Just exhausted and I want to go outside and feel normal for just a minute! I hate the dizzy, blurry, disconnected feeling. It's hell. I have two kids and try to be as normal as possible for them. I hope it all ends soon. Can I ask why folic acid? I use something called NADH that my naturopathic dr gave me and I think it helps a bit. I'll read about the ginkgo, too. My symptoms seem to be worse at certain times of the month, too.
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We've spoken a handful of times on here.. I jumped about 3 months after you and was a short term user as well..

 

While I can't offer you any answers because this nonsense is just as confusing to me, I can tell you you're not alone and hang in there.

 

herewego,its good to see you.How you been. Its been hell for me. Although most of my symptoms are done, this numb brain feeling is too much for me.  It's just hell feeling so disconnected from my husband and daughter for so long. I'm feeling better,  but I have to do something if this healing process continues to take so long. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

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I'm at 9 months and your description of symptoms could be straight from me! I'm feeling the same way you are. Just exhausted and I want to go outside and feel normal for just a minute! I hate the dizzy, blurry, disconnected feeling. It's hell. I have two kids and try to be as normal as possible for them. I hope it all ends soon. Can I ask why folic acid? I use something called NADH that my naturopathic dr gave me and I think it helps a bit. I'll read about the ginkgo, too. My symptoms seem to be worse at certain times of the month, too.

 

ERP,you sound just like me. I have watched my family live without me.I've been on the couch for 4 months,and that has been hell. Driving to work,and being at work is torture. BUT, something happened yesterday. I was so frustrated that I took my Folic Acid, but I increased my dose. In stead of taking 1 800mcg in the morning and another during the evening, I took 2 1/2 at one time. Later in night everything cleared up. I saw my husband and daughter, clear, for the first time in months. I'm not sure what happened, but I did that again this morning and again, Im feeling more clear, not as good as last night, but its definitely more clear. Also I don't feel as anxious this morning. I also went to a naturopathic dr and he prescribed the folic acid. I'm currently taking Nature's Way, 800mcg per capsule. How much did your Dr. tell you take? The other supplements he prescribed to me, has helped me tremendously, but it was this last part that is making me crazy. So I believe in the supplements, they diminished all of my other symptoms. I hope today turns out like my yesterday, or even better. I will let you know. Maybe try to increase your Folic Acid, and eat plenty of protein today and see what happens.

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Yesterday ended well for me. I had a very clear window and it was awesome. I will try my Folic Acid again, and see if it gives me another great window. Thanks guys for the encouragement. I was ready to throw in the towel, so thank everyone for the support. You guys rock!
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Oh that's good! I will give it a try. I am having a bad day, feeling like I'm never actually going to get past this. I have been sick for over a year, starting with a thyroid disease that led to this hell. I broke down today, sometimes I just can't do anything but cry. I'm glad you are seeing some light. I've had glimpses in the past couple of months, but this one is hard. I wish you luck and I'll let you know how the folic acid goes. Take care.
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