Jump to content
Please Check, and if Necessary, Update Your BB Account Email Address as a Matter of Urgency ×
New Forum: Celebrating 20 Years of Support - Everyone is Invited! ×
  • Please Donate

    Donate with PayPal button

    For nearly 20 years, BenzoBuddies has assisted thousands of people through benzodiazepine withdrawal. Help us reach and support more people in need. More about donations here.

Holding isn't helping. should I continue taper???


[dc...]

Recommended Posts

[dc...]
Hey everyone. I've been holding for around six weeks and feel worse everyday. My doctor who is clueless keeps telling me to hold untill I'm stable. For me there is nothing stable about this mess. I want to start doing the daily liquid taper and start off super slow. Has anyone felt they just needed to continue their taper even when they felt bad and had alot of symptoms? I don't feel like mine are ever going away since I was in tolerance for years and gettingoff is my only hope to get better. Thanks
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[f5...]

It has happened before that somebody just never felt any better by holding, and tapered down (responsibly) anyway.  Before you do that, I'd be inclined to hold a little longer.  I'm not a big fan of long holds, but there's a long hold thread somewhere in the forum and I think some people have found relief after holding for a long time (months).

 

Ultimately, it's up to you and what you think you can handle. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[dc...]
Thanks badsocref. Decisions are hard to make while in withdrawal. Im not sure what to do. Im just getting worse and feel like i'm wasting time holding.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[06...]

i was in full withdrawal before i ever started tapering. people debate whether or not its tolerance withdrawal.

well, whatever you call it, a year after i went cold turkey from alcohol, i went full blown withdrawal from diazepam, i felt AWFUL, every symptom on my full dose.

ive been tapering since september 2016, and have NEVER felt "stable" it reeeeeally complicates how to handle this as the 'normal" rules just dont apply. everyone says wait til your symptoms subside or you stabilize to cut; its really hard to know when to cut when you constantly feel very bad.

im actually kinda where youre at now. im the longest hold ive had and i feel just as lousy as i did the first week.

im going to give it another full week, then after easter im plowing through, going to cut again regardless where im at, its all been hell anyway.

im sorry for the trouble, i know how lousy it feels.

if not for work, id seriously rapid taper and just get this awful poison the hell out of me in the next month or two.

DONE with this.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[dc...]
I hear you Luke. I've been sick for years and never knew about tolerance. I started the taper sick and I guess i'm gonna be sick all the way down. I have soo many symptoms that I feel if I wait any longer it's gonna kill me. I know some people can do this with little to no symptoms but I don't think i'm in that crew. The only thing that changes is my sleep. Sometimes I sleep ok. Then I go days without any. Besides that everyday is full of all the same symptoms. It's horrible. Thanks for the reply.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

i was in full withdrawal before i ever started tapering. people debate whether or not its tolerance withdrawal.

well, whatever you call it, a year after i went cold turkey from alcohol, i went full blown withdrawal from diazepam, i felt AWFUL, every symptom on my full dose.

ive been tapering since september 2016, and have NEVER felt "stable" it reeeeeally complicates how to handle this as the 'normal" rules just dont apply

 

 

I can appreciate where you're coming from Luke Skywalker. Even though I don't drink my doctor asked me to c/t from Remeron which really exacerbated my Valium withdrawal. I don't understand it exactly but I read something about how different drugs/alcohol use specific pathways to exit the body and if two drugs use the same exits, then reduction of one (i.e. alcohol, Remeron, etc.,) can worsen the withdrawal of another. I sent the info to my DR to ask her to decipher it, but I haven't heard back yet. I reinstated the Remeron and after about 8 days my symptoms leveled out, and by that I mean I am still having burning sensations, headaches, hot flashes, anxiety, etc. but they are less severe than when I was not taking the Remeron.

 

Regarding the taper, I was agonizing every night while cutting and weighing my medication. My husband, a ChemE, said he'd handle the medication cuts and tapering and so that has been a huge relief. As an engineer he is just making cuts every ten days and asking me how I feel. He says if I'm not feeling worse despite taking less of the drug, that is a victory. It doesn't feel like one to me but he is much more logical and positive so I hold on to his optimism while I plow through the dreariness of drug withdrawal.

 

The fact that you are holding down a job during all of this Luke Skywalker is amazing IMHO. 

 

If

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[06...]

free willy - man youre one of the few ive seen in the same or at least a similar boat.

its been murder like this. yeah it took me the better part of a year to even suspect what was going on. i had NO IDEA about tolerance or that you could go through extended withdrawal.. ugh..

if not for the horror stories id cold turkey, im seriously so DONE with this stuff. 24/7 like im on a bad acid trip, totally whacked out, off balance, perception weird, like this for 15 months or so, ugh...

all i can say is im sorry man, hang in there and if you seem to be feeling the same consistent lousiness, personally, id keep cutting. carefully of course, but theres nowhere else to go but off of this stuff. its one helluva an endurance test when you feel symptomatic 24/7.

i HAVE had some symptoms diminish when i cut even after a really rough patch, so remember feeling awful on this cut, you may go through the typical lousiness cutting again for a bit, but then might be met with feeling better than you have in a while

 

little1 - oh wow i appreciate the insight. that would make sense to me cause theres no doubt in my mind that my alcohol abuse and subsequent quitting has played a big factor in my benzo reaction. actually, it was all very odd. i quit drinking (all the while on 20mg of diazepam) and went through kinda typical alcohol withdrawal, but nothing tooooo bad, it was tolerable, and most days i felt normal (whatever the hell normal is) but things got weird about a year out. i started getting bouts of very strong anxiety and withdrawal, and over a few months it intensified. as matter of fact, i remember the day i "turned" the day i felt totally awful, whacked out, dizzy, etc etc, and i never felt normal again. months and months later, after a million dr appointments, i finally decided to taper.

 

only after that did i stumble on these boards and realize it was the benzo. i can deal with most of the symptoms except the boaty drunkeness (that i have right now at my desk as i slack and type this lol), it absolutely drives me nuts as its accompanied by agoraphobia.

 

im praying to the gods all this will slowly end or fade away after im off diazepam, cause i cant imagine spending the rest of my life feeling like this.

 

im like a broken record here and probably annoy people with the job thing cause i constantly whine about it lol, but yeah, UGH, it has been the hardest thing ive ever done is make it work (i often havent) and keep my job through this. the irony is i went sober....to end up feeling like im on heavy drugs. working through this has been miserable beyond description.

 

sorry for hijacking thread here, i just think freewilly and i are in a similar situation of never stabilizing, and its so damn hard to cut or know when to cut when youre completely shot already. my instinct is screaming to just stop taking this crap, but im scared a CT would have me ending up getting fired. i simply cannot afford it, it would ruin me

 

bless you guys

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Free Willy,

 

I was reading all of the posts and got mixed up about who posted what but I wanted to say that I can identify with what you are saying about feeling lousy despite taking the same dose. It sounds like your inner self is guiding you to get off this poison. If it weren't for my husband continuing to beat the drum of "if you're not feeling worse as you cut, then that is a success," I'd be feeling even more discouraged.  Like you, I just want to feel better and keep hoping that I'll wake up from this nightmare. Everyone who has already passed through this ordeal seems to say, "it gets better with time" so that is what I keep hoping and praying for. It seems like it will never come though, so I hear what you're saying and feeling and pray you will gain the strength you need to plow through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[dc...]
Thanks Luke. Yeah its one big shitty mess. I don't know how I let myself get here. I used to drink alot to coverup the anxiety I had. The klonopin never worked. I knew I was screwed when I quit drinking and the symptoms started. I couldn't handle work anymore. Moved in with parents. What a mess. It's turned me into a freakin crybaby . Like worse than when I was a kid. I feel like such a pussy. Haha.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[dc...]
Thanks little1. Yes. This is horrible. We will somehow have to get through it. I can deal with the physical symptoms but the mental crap has me sooo screwed up.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would hold just cause I'm a wimp and can't stand the idea of going off and on again.  I did that already, and the going back on was actually a year of miserable hell. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

To all, I'm in the same boat.  I did find that reducing my cuts to a very strict less than 10%, made the cuts more tolerable.  I had inadvertently made a cut of 12.5%, knowing it was a bit over, and figuring my body would not detect it, but by day7 i had to go back up and redo the cut at 6.25% to stabilize......but still feeling like you all have explained..... not too good.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • [Ra...]
    • [El...]
    • [Lo...]
    • [Da...]
    • [Ro...]
    • [An...]
    • [Th...]
    • [...]
    • [Le...]
    • [fl...]
    • [...]
    • [No...]
    • [Jo...]
    • [Mi...]
    • [sh...]
    • [bi...]
    • [Pa...]
    • [ja...]
    • [ca...]
    • [...]
    • [Pi...]
    • [An...]
    • [...]
    • [Gi...]
    • [Cl...]
    • [gu...]
    • [Ki...]
    • [Dr...]
    • [PE...]
    • [St...]
    • [ka...]
    • [ka...]
    • [in...]
    • [...]
    • [am...]
    • [...]
×
×
  • Create New...