New here. My first post. Need help please.

[Guest [Fr...]]

Hello everyone. I have been on klonopin for roughly 10 years for anxiety and panic attacks. I started at 1.5mg daily and went up to 2.5mg. It never really helped. In 2014 I started feeling much worse. The doctors did a ton of tests on me and said I was fine. Then I found the ashton manual and convinced myself that it was the klonopin causing all my problems. I tried the valium crossover but it didn't go well. I became suicidal and went back to the klonopin. I've managed to taper down to 1.75mg daily but I'm very sick and thinking that something else must be going on. Here is a list of my symptoms. Anxiety, panic, memory loss, depression, confusion,agoraphobia, weightloss, weakness, loss of muscle, aches and pains, sleep problems, tremors, tinnitus, chest pains, bp can be high at times.

In the last two years I have lost my job, house, family thinks I'm just crazy, I never get out of bed. I used to be very athletic and fit now I don't recognize myself. I've lost everything and am suffering like I thought couldn't be possible. I still think that this can't be all from th klonopin. Before I joined here I read alot of posts and other places online and those people don't seem to be this sick. Can anyone give me some advice? Sorry I ramble on. My brain isn't working like it used to. Thanks to those who read this. 

[[pn...]]

All the symptoms you have fit the description of benzo withdrawal. Most everyone here, me included, suffer the same things. I personally have been almost home bound since this mess started. It does get better, just takes time. You will think you are dying before it's all over, but you aren't. Read a few blogs on here and you will see that you are not alone. I'm sure other buddies will be here to welcome you and try to give support.

[[Fe...]]

Welcome! I don't have any advice bc I am fairly new to this forum, too. You have come to the right place to find support, encouragement, some answers, and hope.

 

All of the symptoms you listed are symptoms I've read in other posts describing what benzos can do. You are not alone. Others with more experience and similar symptoms will guide you and help you.

 

I have read other people, who were on benzos even longer than you, describe eventual healing and freedom from benzo use. Go to the success stories. I cling to those when I'm scared. Just know you are not alone, and from what I have learned from others here, EVERYONE can eventually heal. Time is your friend. We are, too.

[[Re...]]

FreeWilly - It's more than likely the benzos.  It sounds like your doctor has done a thorough workup otherwise and nothing remarkable has been noted on those investigations.  Just try to take a day at a time, moment by moment.  Keeping busy is really important, even when you feel horrible.  My wife and I went out to dinner with a big group of friends about 6 weeks ago.  It was pure hell for me as I was experiencing benzo-flu at the time, but it was good to see them and good to be out.  Also, being active nurtured my relationships with my wife and my son.  That being said, from beginning to end my withdrawal was only about 2 months, so not very long compared to some.  Even so, you can do it and you are doing it.  Just take it one day at a time, eventually the end zone will be at your feet and the journey will only ask you for one more step!

 

FEARFUL BUT WILLING.....Keep it up.  You'll be done before you know it!!!!

[[Ge...]]

I'm pretty sure you are in the right place.  Welcome 

[[Tw...]]

Was on 3mgs of Klonopin for aboutvthe same time you were. Also have/had all the symptoms your experiencing. Lost everything as well. Tried a cold turkey, tapering too fast, tapering and drinking alcohol...you name it. After being off two years off and never being stable I reinstated again and quickly went back to my original dose.

 

Now, I decided I'd give it one more real go and am one year into this taper and functional but not sxs free. I cut the Klonopin until I couldn't anymore to .5mgs too quickly. Was desperate bc I couldn't get out of bed myself. Worst case scenario to a degree. Switched to Valium and have been liquid micro tapering since at roughly 1mg every 20-30 days and I'm able to live a somewhat life. This being much better than before even. Just my experience. I have 14 mgs to go but for the first time I've felt healing as I decrease while tapering at the sloooowwww speed it takes for my body to adjust to the dose. I don't know if I'll be symptom free when I come off but that's the plan. Hope any of this could help.

[[me...]]

All of your symptoms are from benzo tapering/ withdrawal.  I experienced all of those myself.  It's a long road and not easy but you can get through this and heal.  Come back here for help and encouragement.

[Guest [Fr...]]

Thank you all for your replies.

[[Ma...]]

Freewilly. It sounds like benzo withdrawal to me. I have all of your symptoms plus more. I sometimes think there must be something else wrong with me. It doesn't help that alot of the people on here are doing OK. They are sick but most seem to be able to function. I can't do anything. I literally lay in bed allday. I also can't figure out how they can taper soo fast. I've been holding at my current dose for weeks and actually feel like I'm getting sicker. Maybe you can try the daily liquid micro taper. I started that in january. It's been hard but seems to be the only way to getoff really slow. Any help just ask. There are also youtube videos on how to do it.