I hardly ever SMILE anymore

[[Wi...]]

Im always apologizing to my girlfriend for my behavioir during withdrawal and i feel very inadequate. I recently told her to please be patient a bit longer because i am noticing definite windows of improvement and believe i will return to being "me" soon. She then exclaimed that she doesnt believe i am getting any better because i never smile anymore. My mom also mentioned this to me. I used to smile all the time. Has anyone else noticed thier smile is M.I.A? I so hope mine returns soon.

[[su...]]

Not only did my smile disappear, when I try to smile or fake it, it actually hurts to do it.  That said, I had a brief reprieve from this but it's back.  You will get your smile back, especially if you're feeling better and want to smile.

[[Wi...]]

Ive smiled like one time since this nightmare began whereas i used to smile all day long. I know it will return when my joy returns. My girlfriend is the one who believes my smile is gone forever. Shes helped me more then anyone ever could have and im so thankful for her. Good luck!

[[Vi...]]

I forget how to smile too. But lately here and there I smiled and my husband and me were surprised and happy. And yes, all those muscles are kind of hurst too, of course those muscle were not used for 1and half year now. Hopefully we will smile more and more.

Can't wait to return to normal life.

[[pu...]]

I'm often FROWNING.

 

Although it's not the best method, I have taken keen to the "fake it til you feel it" approach.

 

 

I often just practice fake smiling in the mirror. I do it everyday. The more I do it, the more I like it.

 

Everyone looks good with a smile.

 

The more I do it at home in the mirror, the easier it is to do it in public. Sometimes if I'm getting rung up by a cashier at a store and they ask me how I'm doing, I want to say "TERRIBLE" and frown, but I force myself to say "I'm ok!" and then crack a fake smile. After a while, it becomes habit. 

[[tw...]]

When I was in my late 30's and my children were smaller, I was on xanax and one day when I was in withdrawal and almost done, my oldest son (who was maybe 6 at the time), told me something and it made me laugh, and his eyes got real wide and his little face brightened up and he said, "Mommy! You smiled at me!!!" It broke my heart. This is what these things do to you. They steal your soul.

 

I notice I'm smiling and laughing a lot more the lower i go. I know i didn't ever smile in acute, because as my husband said, I looked like a "frightened animal" almost 24/7.

[[su...]]

The scary thing for me is that I don't realize how sad and anguished I look in repose.  I saw video of me from a joyous occasion and the lower part of my face was just pulled downward. I thought I was smiling the entire time.  It was devastating.  Now I can barely fake a smile, and I try at home to get the muscles working but it is painful.  As I said, I had a brief reprieve but it's bad again.

[[Wi...]]

I'm often FROWNING.

 

Although it's not the best method, I have taken keen to the "fake it til you feel it" approach.

 

 

I often just practice fake smiling in the mirror. I do it everyday. The more I do it, the more I like it.

 

Everyone looks good with a smile.

 

The more I do it at home in the mirror, the easier it is to do it in public. Sometimes if I'm getting rung up by a cashier at a store and they ask me how I'm doing, I want to say "TERRIBLE" and frown, but I force myself to say "I'm ok!" and then crack a fake smile. After a while, it becomes habit. 

 

Right. Ive withdrawn from other drugs and alcohol and faked it til i made it but for some fd up reason i am unable to fake it til i make it with a smile during benzo wd. Im so self conscious and ive never been self conscious to this degree before.

[[lo...]]

Hi Windwalker,

I'm sorry that smiling seems impossible right now. I've really been faking it since withdraw began, it's what people expect from me too and I just don't want to draw anymore attention to myself if I can help it.

 

Do you think it's possible for you to try and smile for your girlfriend? You have mentioned how wonderful she is and I was just thinking maybe you could look at it like practice, you could think about all the things you appreciate about her, all her special qualities, in gratitude for her life and her presence in your life... maybe a smile will emerge? My thought is if you could smile with her it would give her the hope she needs right now.

 

Faking it right now makes me feel a bit more alone, not a good feeling for me. I also understand there are different degrees of smiling... my Mother was gone for about 10 years before my smiling face no longer had very sad eyes, people didn't always notice, but I did, in every picture I saw the deep sadness in my heart reflected in my eyes.

 

Sending you love and saying a prayer that your smile surfaces for you and your girlfriend 

[[er...]]

Good point..

 

I've noticed this in myself, and it is heartbreaking to me.  My facial muscles have become accustomed to not smiling so much, that (like many have mentioned), when I do smile it feels foreign.  Prior to taking benzos and risperdal, I was almost always smiling and I used to get so many compliments on my smile.

 

I also noticed that for a time, I wasn't even able to whistle anymore, as if my muscles had lost the ability.  Fortunately, I have recovered the ability to whistle, and I hope we can all "find our smiles" again as we heal from this nightmare brought on by listening to our ignorant doctors who have been corrupted by big pharma.  Monsters they are..

 

Eric

[[su...]]

Eric,

I can't whistle.  I used to be a champ at it, and made my friends laugh by whistling really complicated songs and they were totally recognizable and had inflection, too.  I forgot...  Maybe someday?

[[Ma...]]

My little garden is starting to grow.Vegetables is starting to come out of earth and I smiled yesterday because of that and then my partner said to me;I have not seen you smiling for such a long time.

[[Bu...]]

I didn't know how much I hadn't been smiling until I went to a comedy show during a window and laughed so hard that my face hurt!  Mentally though, I felt better for days afterwards-I will always cherish that moment 

[[je...]]

Hey Windwalker - I am sorry you are experiencing this issue.  It is just another thing with the bad-a** benzos.  My hubby told me just the other day that I don't smile much and he wondered if something was wrong.  Even though I am 6 months out, I do get periods of gloom and just feel crappy (emotionally).  I am trying to be more conscious of this fact to display a happier disposition with active smiling.

 

It's hard and I'm not sure how well I will do but I am going to try.  Most of this junk we have to work through and none of us ever thought it would be remotely as difficult as it is.  I hope you are getting support from your mom and girlfriend.  Best wishes.