Just need some encouragement

[[ha...]]

I was starting to do significantly better, and most of my physical symptoms have subsided, but I have been experiencing heavy depression lately. I was never depressed before benzos, and enjoyed such wonderful peace and joy before the anxiety and panic attacks started last November. The anxiety is pretty much manageable at this point, but still no confidence in myself. I am graduating college in May (by a miracle), and I feel like I don't have the strength to go out and accomplish what I set out to do 4 years ago when I began college. I went from feeling like I could do anything to now feeling like I can't do anything. I know the depression must be withdrawal because its the worst in the morning, and it comes in waves. I have to believe this will end otherwise it is difficult to get through the day. Not sure what the future looks like for me at this point. I've also been experiencing intrusive looping thoughts that seem to make the anxiety worse. Also having nightmares and unpleasant thoughts about my past. So weird. Please any encouragement would be helpful.

[[tw...]]

You're only 7 weeks out, and your brain is still recovering, I'm sure. I remember feeling a little anxious before I graduated college (in May of 1990, lol) I think it's normal. You've just been through a lot. Try and turn those negative thoughts into something to look forward to! A new career, new adventures, etc! The world is your oyster! Keep telling yourself that you deserve it, you worked hard for it! But don't worry too much about the future (destination), or you risk missing the here and now (the ride).

 

It's getting ready to be such an exciting time for you! In fact, I'm a little envious. 

[[ha...]]

Thanks twinkle, you made me laugh. Every time I experience a window I think I got this thing figured out and beat, but when a wave comes I'm right back to hopelessness. At least I'm functional now and don't have to walk around feeling like a lunatic. Just super depressed sometimes.