I'm getting worse and I think I need to reinstate my AD

[[an...]]

Hi everyone -

Some of you know this already but basically I'm a non-benzo user. I've only taken one psych med in my life (Prozac) which changed my life to a living hell. I'm now 6 months out from a CT off of it and I'm sure I'm reaching a life threatening point because my body is physically unable to function properly. You may tell me this isn't life threatening but please hear me out. These are my symptoms right now:

 

Physical:

- insomnia

- high levels of adrenaline

- temperature dysregulation (EXTREME heat ranges)

- tinnitus

- akathisia in brain; like electricity surging all around the surface of my brain

- severe electrical hypersensitivity ALL over my body, especially in legs

- severe teeth and gum pain with metallic taste

- dry mouth and throat

- tongue burning

- eye dryness and swollen eyelids

- muscle jerks

- pins and needles

- 24/7 body vibrating and buzzing

- chest tightness

- 24/7 eye floaters (black dots and squiggly lines)

- burning hands

- burning brain (brain literally feels on fire)

- rising pressure of adrenaline/cortisol in my body; can literally feel this uncomfortable pressure

- diarrhea

- seeing flashing lights when I close my eyes

- seeing flashing lights sometimes now during the day

- 24/7 inner restlessness

- vivid dreams

- feel brain moving, pressure ... Like someone is massaging my brain but in a painful way

- losing the ability to cry

- inability to nap

- stomach butterflies

- sweating

- appetite loss

- nausea

- physically weak

 

Mental:

- intrusive thoughts

- anhedonia

- constant fear

- severe depression and anxiety

- 24/7 looping songs repeatedly playing in my head from morning til night

- suicidal

 

I've already once reached Serotonin Syndrome while I was on Prozac and I've already fainted once about 3 weeks ago due to the severity of my symptoms. I blacked out but thankfully came back to consciousness.

 

I'm desperate and I've gotten WORSE since the beginning of all this. My symptoms are morphing everyday and constantly at an intense 10/10 level. I don't think I should be getting worse a this far out. I haven't had any windows the last 2.5 months now. Symptoms are adding up and the intensity is beyond unbearable.

 

PLEASE someone answer me. I think I should reinstate now. Either back on Prozac or an AD that's not as potent. I'm only 27 years old fighting for my life. I go to school and don't want to give it up for anything.

[[Bh...]]

You can't reinstate. You had Serotonin Syndrome....your body clearly wasn't doing well with Prozac. Why put yourself back in that situation? Yes, it's touch now, but your brain knows how to seek homeostasis. It will fix itself, it just takes time. You can do this!

[[an...]]

You can't reinstate. You had Serotonin Syndrome....your body clearly wasn't doing well with Prozac. Why put yourself back in that situation? Yes, it's touch now, but your brain knows how to seek homeostasis. It will fix itself, it just takes time. You can do this!

 

Hey there,

Well I'm just wondering if maybe I should reinstate but at a lower dose. I only had the Serotonin Syndrome when I was up at 40mg. Maybe if I take 5mg instead or something then maybe I can stabilize? I'm really depressed, home bound, and feel very suicidal. Or I can choose another type of AD that will help but isn't as potent as Prozac. I can't take these symptoms anymore. My life is ruined.

[[an...]]

Can anyone else give their feedback??

[[Be...]]

I wish I knew what to tell you. This sounds horrific.

Have you tried Surviving Antidepressants? They are real experts on this sort of thing. They specialise in SSRI WD. Give them a go!

[[be...]]

Yup. This is the place you want to be. They'll help you, I'm sure. SurvivingAntidepressants.com. Good luck and I hope you feel better.

[[Co...]]

Surviving Antidepressants will advise that you reinstate at a lower dose, and plan a very slow taper.  Don't be afraid.  I know how awful it is, I've been there before, and I promise you everything will be okay.  Reinstate at 20 mg and stabilize.  Then you can plan a very slow taper. 

[[Lo...]]

Have you also tried http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/

 

That's another great site that talks about anti-depressants. Personally, I wouldn't reinstate on the one that hurt you (Prozac), but would look for a more mellow, less activating anti-depressant. It seems that Celexa may be much more gentle antidepressant than Prozac, so if I were you, I'd research that one......

[[Tr...]]

I reinstated Zoloft after being off it for about 5 months. My taper had been too short and I had some life stress that put me in a severe depression without the help of the SSRI. I reinstated and stayed on for about 6 months, then did a 2 month taper and was in a much better state.

 

It may be better to reinstate at a low dosage. You may find you should just be on the AD for a while. It's hard to say, but you should talk to a doctor.

[[be...]]

I reinstated Zoloft after being off it for about 5 months. My taper had been too short and I had some life stress that put me in a severe depression without the help of the SSRI. I reinstated and stayed on for about 6 months, then did a 2 month taper and was in a much better state.

 

It may be better to reinstate at a low dosage. You may find you should just be on the AD for a while. It's hard to say, but you should talk to a doctor.

 

That's what I always do..It help me a lot on what to do........

[[Lo...]]

Unless she has a restrictive insurance plan where she has no choice, but to see a doctor who originally put her on Prozac, I'd try to find a different doctor this time who has more experience with antidepressants.

[[Jo...]]

I have never taken Prozac.  I used Paxil in the distant past for awhile and dont even recall quitting it.  I guess the Clonazepam buffered the Withdrawal. 

 

More recently as my signature says I used Effexor XR.  When I got down to about a half mg of K. per day, the AD became too stimulative.  I switched over to Paxil and had the same problem.  After tapering a few months I stopped.  This winter in the 2-3 month range off the AD the sh*t hit the fan.  I reinstated the Eff. and was better instantly (which should not happen - my body was still ised to the drug).  Then I got worse again after a couple of weeks, and decided enough was enough.  I Talked to my Dr., told him I was going to increase my V. dose by a couple to a few mg. for a few months until the Ad effects were mostly gone.  So, AD gone, Benzo taper on hold. 

 

For the Eff. it seems to take 3 months for the withdrawal to really get to its worst.  I had been through this years ago, and recall it was the same time frame - I reinstated then. 

 

Now, Prozac is longer acting by days to weeks as compared to Effexor and Paxil. 

 

Is it possible you are at your worst right now, and things may get better from here? 

 

Maybe reinstate at a really low dose, and go up slowly, if needed?

 

Given you gotten this far I would be worried about just dragging it out? 

 

(Beware... rant coming) I can tell you this much.  I'm almost at the point where I would rather take a bullet than go back to the emotional numbness, wierd half sleep, sexually disfunctional, sweaty trip ADs cause.  It honestly wont surprise me to see big pharma eat a trillion dollar lawsuit over these drugs one day.  As much as I hate benzos, at least they do something. 

[[Co...]]

I hear you, Jorges.  Effexor is the most wicked AD to try to taper off - horrible wd.  I used Prozac to help me taper off Paxil - I crossed over and did a very fast (too fast) taper.  But once I was off, I was determined to stick it out.  WD symptoms peaked about 2-3 months after I jumped, and then I had vertigo for about four months.  But I never reconsidered reinstating.  I knew it would end based on my experience years ago with Effexor.  I'll never go back on ADs because they only alleviate depression for six months to a year... then I'm depressed again, but too apathetic and numb to do anything about it. 

 

True, you can feel more immediate results from benzos, but they caused far worse, and bizarrely dark, depression for me. 

 

I think some people can go on and off ADs many times before - bam - they find they're now in the percentage of folks who experience withdrawal.

 

Anongirl, you should talk to your doctor no matter which course you want to take.  In theory, due to its longer half-life, Prozac  should be easier to taper off, especially with a long taper.  You would probably have some immediate relief with a low dose, but you still wouldn't be guaranteed an easy withdrawal.  There's a risk that you'd just be dragging things out.  If you're game and think you're up to braving it out, you could soldier on through wd.  I'd at least check out survivingantidepressants.org - you'll find very sound information there.  I've been exactly where you are now, and I made it through!  I'm not depression free now - I don't know what is due to underlying issues and what is resulting from benzo wd, but I do know that I'm arming myself with some very solid information and depression now doesn't make me feel helpless and afraid.  It's awful, but it's a problem that I can learn to solve without medication. 

[[Jo...]]

Cominghome,

 

I agree that Benzos come with their own set of nasty issues.  Thats how most of us got here  .  My point was only that they do work, at least for a while. 

 

But, I am of the opinion that for most people the ADs dont really do much.  They mostly just numb us.  Research exposees from Healy, Whittaker, and a several others seem to bear this out.  The drug companies only ever had to prove they were safe, not that they actually cured depresssion, or anxiety.  This is all discussed in great detail over at survivingantidepressants.org .   

[[Jo...]]

Anongirl,

 

I just completed an 8 week course in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT).  It is very similar to MBSR, if not the same. 

 

It mostly involves meditation of various kinds, coupled with learning to recognize, observe, and work with negative thinking.  I am now doing structured meditation an hour per day, broken down into 20 minute, 30 minute, and 2 or 3 quick segments per day.  I cant speak highly enough about it. 

 

It has helped me alot so far.  Its not a cure-all and takes alot of work but from my perspective beats the hell out of more pills. 

 

Cheers

 

Jorges

[[Gr...]]

...This winter in the 2-3 month range off the AD the sh*t hit the fan.  I reinstated the Eff. and was better instantly (which should not happen - my body was still ised to the drug).  Then I got worse again after a couple of weeks, and decided enough was enough.  I Talked to my Dr., told him I was going to increase my V. dose by a couple to a few mg. for a few months until the Ad effects were mostly gone.  So, AD gone, Benzo taper on hold. 

 

For the Eff. it seems to take 3 months for the withdrawal to really get to its worst.  I had been through this years ago, and recall it was the same time frame - I reinstated then. 

 

Now, Prozac is longer acting by days to weeks as compared to Effexor and Paxil. 

 

Is it possible you are at your worst right now, and things may get better from here? 

 

Maybe reinstate at a really low dose, and go up slowly, if needed?

 

Given you gotten this far I would be worried about just dragging it out? 

 

(Beware... rant coming) I can tell you this much.  I'm almost at the point where I would rather take a bullet than go back to the emotional numbness, wierd half sleep, sexually disfunctional, sweaty trip ADs cause.  It honestly wont surprise me to see big pharma eat a trillion dollar lawsuit over these drugs one day.  As much as I hate benzos, at least they do something.

 

This is really interesting. I'm am two months off today and glad to be informed but not looking forward to the next few months.    :'(

[[an...]]

Hey everyone thanks for responding.

 

I am still going CT and as much as I want to reinstate, I am holding back because I am too scared of reaching tolerance and having to go through WD for a longer period of time than I need to. I feel like I don't want to prolong this process. But I know that I am also prone to protracted WD if I keep CTing and doing what I'm doing now without taking any meds.

 

Right now I am feeling little better but, of course, my symptoms morph and change constantly every second everyday. The nerves in my chest are surging and my brain is buzzing but it's at a milder level right now. I have been on the Surviving Antidepressant forum already (been on that forum since December and have already received feedback) and I talked to a certain individual from there who told me that I should keep pushing on. She has similar symptoms as me, she tapered but still had symptoms afterwards, and is feeling better at 1 year out. I know I can't compare my experience to hers or anyone else but I think I am gonna try to wait another month or so before I decide to reinstate or not. This is so horrifying and incredibly horrendous... I've screamed and cried so much everyday but I keep holding onto this hope that I will get better. I hear the 1st year is the hardest and it should be getting better and better with each year after. I hope that it will be like this for me...