I forgot about this, now in crisis, please help

[[Ma...]]

Hi,

 

I have been Benzo free now for about 5ish months. I think that I had stabilised and I forgot about PAWS, benzos and withdrawal. I had been a bit depressed but nothing too serious.

 

So anyway today I was in the supermarket and all of a sudden I'm getting strange random thoughts, depersonalisation of my thoughts with minor deja vu like feelings and severe unease. Also my memories felt strange and foreign.  I was quite worried and panicked from this. I couldn't figure out what brought it on. So the feelings are persisting, I went home, did some PC stuff then went to bed. So I've awoken at 4am in panic with the same mental feelings and a slight headache.

 

Although I suffer from underlying OCD, anxiety it doesn't manifest like this. I feel crazy, like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I wonder if I'm getting early onset dementia or something although I'm in my late thirties.

 

So the thought occurred to me that this may be some PAWS Benzo wave. But I've been stable for so long I'm really doubting it. I'm very scared, please help. What is your opinion?? Thanks in advance.

[[tw...]]

It could be that, OR - you could just have some explained anxiety that manifested itself as sort of a semi-panic attack feeling that is lasting a bit longer than usual. I wouldn't worry about it. Give it a little more time and see if it passes. 5 months - WOW - that's so great!

[[Ch...]]

I had noticed that you have not been posting like early in your journey as your healing and recovery became established.  Actually I am glad to see your post, even if you did have a minor setback!!!

I suspect that you over did things that added up to using a lot of your newly made GABA A situation and some of your old symptoms ramped up a bit....If that is the case, rest more and dial back on your activities for a few days...if you can increase your sunshine and yogurt/fermented foods those things can't hurt, either!!!

I am so happy to read that over all you are moving toward a full recovery!!

[[Ma...]]

Hi Twinkle,

 

What worries me is that it hasn't passed. I feel really weird this morning. Could it still be a wave?

[[Ma...]]

Hi Choco,

 

Thankyou! Yes because things had been OK I hadn't posted, fear and discomfort usually makes me come back and post! I guess I'm just trying to forget about my withdrawal horror you know? I hope I'm moving toward recovery, when I feel horrible like last night and this morning, it's hard to see possible future positives. My excellent drug and alcohol counsellor who has changed jobs used to say that when one is in a deep dark tunnel and the light at the end is so far away it's hard not to want out and start panicking, start flailing so instead of aiming towards the light and walking in that direction, one is aimed towards the side brick wall and is hitting it which is an exercise in futility. I like that analogy, maybe that's what's happening.

[[Wh...]]

Hi Twinkle,

 

What worries me is that it hasn't passed. I feel really weird this morning. Could it still be a wave?

 

Totally.  Some people don't even get hit until way down the road.  I hope this is not the case for you and that your symptoms pass soon.