I can't do this anymore.

[[Vi...]]

I'm giving up 10 months incredible fight. :'(

I'm in so much pain I can't do this anymore. My head, scalp hurts so badly, is feels burning, bad thingling, pressure, is even hurts when I touch my scalp.. In the morning is more on a left side of my head and by afternoon is escalating to all over on my head and scalp, neck. Is like having some kind of seizure non stop. Anxiety is sky high. My hole left side of my body thingling and feel numb. My body feels like shaking vibrating non stop. I can't sleep, up every hour with anxiety and head pain. Never had a window maybe I just felt 20/30% better for few hrs in 10 months. I feel I'm getting worst not better.  I m not functioning, my husband taking care off me. I'm still on 2.8 mg remeron but is not helping.

Maybe I have to go back on Clonazepam again because I never tapered properly. I was on it 2 times for 2 and half months. First time CT adviced by doctor second time I fast tapered myself. That time I did not know any better. Did not find BB yet.

Or maybe I will go higher with remeron, but I don't know is going to help with my anxiety and burning head pain. So scared of my life. This medications destroyed my life and I don't know what to do.

Any advise? Or anybody had this and get better later on?

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm giving up 10 months incredible fight. :'(

I'm in so much pain I can't do this anymore. My head, scalp hurts so badly, is feels like burning bad thingling, pressure, is even hurts when I touch my scalp.. In the morning is more on a left side of my head and by afternoon is escalating to all over on my head and scalp, neck. Is like having some kind of seizure non stop. Anxiety is sky high. My hole left side of my body thingling and feel numb. My body feels like shaking vibrating non stop. I can't sleep, up every hour with anxiety and head pain. Never had a window maybe I just felt 20/30% better for few hrs in 10 months. I feel I'm getting worst not better.  I m not functioning, my husband taking care off me. I'm still on 2.8 mg remeron but is not helping.

Maybe I have to go back on Clonazepam again because I never tapered properly. I was on it 2 times for 2 and half months. First time CT adviced by doctor second time I fast tapered myself. That time I did not know any better. Did not find BB yet.

Or maybe I will go higher with remeron, but I don't know is going to help with my anxiety and burning head pain. So scared of my life. This medications destroyed my life and I don't know what to do.

Any advise?

 

Me to my friend.thinking of going on xanax again.I cannot take it anymore.2 months wave now and gets worst.all most no sleep.

[[Vi...]]

Hi Masha, so sorry you going through this hell too. 

Is xanax better than Clonazepam?

[[Vi...]]

Masha, do you have the burning head and scalp too?

[[Ma...]]

Masha, do you have the burning head and scalp too?

 

I have burning neck and head and preassure and dp/dr and vertigo and paranoia and horror insomnia.So yes I have it:tickedoff: No xanax is worst than clonazepam.

[[Vi...]]

Oh Masha so sorry you having all those afoul symptoms. What do you do to get some relief?

Is somebody taking care of you or do you have some support at home?

 

I have bad dp/dr too. I'm crying all the time and don't feel love or connecting to people at all. This is just suffering not living. Don't see the light at all.

[[an...]]

Hi Vica

 

Was thinking about you! I'm sorry you are still going through this horrible torture. I'm still dealing with the brain burning too but it's getting a little better. But it's still there. I may not feel all the symptoms you're having but I am still suffering just as much. I'm not sure what other people will say but maybe reinstatement could be an option? Like start at a low dose? I know reinstatement is frowned upon, especially since you are already 10 months out, but suffering everyday at such high intensity with barely any windows is horrifying. I want to believe that you will get better eventually by not going back on the drug but if it is life threatening, I would reinstate

[[Ma...]]

Oh Masha so sorry you having all those afoul symptoms. What do you do to get some relief?

Is somebody taking care of you or do you have some support at home?

 

I have bad dp/dr too. I'm crying all the time and don't feel love or connecting to people at all. This is just suffering not living. Don't see the light at all.

 

Nothing.One day it gets bit easier and then I am doing stuffs and other days gets bad and then I do not do nothing.Massage helps bit and CBT.I am on the end of myour strength  and planning to reinstal.This is no life.

[[Wi...]]

You plan on reinstating? Did you ever reach tolerance withdrawal before? Because you will again and need to go thru this suffering all over again once you reinstate. I hope you think it over long and hard before you do. Good luck whatever you decide and hang tough!

[[Vi...]]

Hi, anongrl, i scared for my life. I don't know what to do this is just suffering non stop. I going to the doctor this afternoon. I know he will say go back on medication. Don't know what to do.

Thanks to thinking of me. Sending a big hugs 

[[er...]]

Stay strong!  Even the terrible times in this mess do pass..  I can't imagine going back on these poisons, weather it be xanex or clonazepam, or whatever.. to go back on the terrible drugs that have done this to me is inconceivable..

 

I'm almost at 13 months and things are getting much easier..  please don't go backwards for your own sakes!

[[Vi...]]

Masha, I did CBT for 3 months... did not help. Basically they are teaching you how to breath, and try to relax and let it pass it trough. It can work for people who has panick attack here and there  but somebody who has severe anxiety non top and burning pain is not going to help. I keep doing the deep breathing.. dos not really relief my anxiety. I do massage too which helps for half hr and everything goes back to severe pain.

Do you able to work?

[[Vi...]]

Thanks windwalker to writing back to me. I'm thinking and I don't know what to do. I just know this is more suffering than I can take. Scared my body is not going to able to handle it. I'm in this mess more than 1 and half year. No relief. No window at all.

Thanks again

[[Vi...]]

Hi Eric, thank you for writing back to me. It means a lot how much people care.

I see you steady improving and I would be good with that. I don't feel that way. I have no window no relief. All day suffering and even nights too. Before my nights were better here and there but now is bad. Up every hr with anxiety and burning pain in my head. I don't see how I can go on. :'(

Thanks again

[[Su...]]

I can't tell you what to do, but I agree with a post saying "think long and hard about starting again because you wmay have to go through this all over again' and I will add.... You may Kindle and that means it could actually be worse the next time. The only thing that helped me when I was in your state was RUNNING MY ASS OFF and I am not even kidding... I run 3.6 miles every other day. I have to. I hope you feel better soon. I have heard that 10 months is about when things start to let up, so I hope and wish you the best!!! Get good running shoes and RUN...

[[Wi...]]

I can't tell you what to do, but I agree with a post saying "think long and hard about starting again because you wmay have to go through this all over again' and I will add.... You may Kindle and that means it could actually be worse the next time. The only thing that helped me when I was in your state was RUNNING MY ASS OFF and I am not even kidding... I run 3.6 miles every other day. I have to. I hope you feel better soon. I have heard that 10 months is about when things start to let up, so I hope and wish you the best!!! Get good running shoes and RUN...

 

 

 

 

Hey sunny!

I been thinking about running. I try to briskly walk daily but would like to try running. Have u always ran or did u just now take it up during wd? Also-you say you have benefits? What benefits? Could u please expand? Thanks girl and hang tough!

[[Vi...]]

Hi sunny, thank you to take the time and write back to me. Did you have the burning thingling pain in your head?

How did you able to run?  I can't  even go to store. I tried to run but gives me more headache. Did you had that feeling?

I promised to God and myself I would never go back on benzo. But I can say this when my pain is a bit less but in a few hrs is usually comes and I want to kills myself or die, when the pain more severe.

Hugs

[[be...]]

Hi sunny, thank you to take the time and write back to me. Did you have the burning thingling pain in your head?

How did you able to run?  I can't  even go to store. I tried to run but gives me more headache. Did you had that feeling?

I promised to God and myself I would never go back on benzo. But I can say this when my pain is a bit less but in a few hrs is usually comes and I want to kills myself or die, when the pain more severe.

Hugs

 

Hi Vica

 

I just found this thread now. I know exactly how long your 10 months off of a benzo has been for you as you well know. I can't let my same birthday girl hurt herself by throwing away almost a year off that poison. If you were 10 days or even 10 weeks, your loss of time served would be so much less but to be this far would be terrible for you to give up. Please hang in there. We will celebrate a year together. Please Vica find some really good distractions from the pain or help your pain some better way. Please exhaust other avenues to help your discomfort before you do something you might really regret later. Of course it is your decision but I want you celebrating with me.  (((((HUGS)))))

 

 

[[Ja...]]

I was 4 months off once, I wasn't feeling as bad as you, basically I felt like I had a hangover everyday, and I would occasionally have a massive panic attack/mini-seizure sort of episode, don't really know how to explain it. I re-instated, and while I did feel much better, I never felt the same again, this was on Xanax. So later I crossed over to Valium, hoping  to quit once again, and failed twice, but really I shouldn't have failed, I just should have been tougher. Anyways, now I'm forced to quit no matter what because I'm having pretty bad tolerance withdrawal. I regret every time that I quit, especially the first time. There's really no way to get around quitting someday, so if you can somehow dig deep and keep going, I would highly recommend that you do that. On the other hand a re-reinstatement will likely make you feel a lot better, but it all eventually catches up to you in the end.

[[Tr...]]

Hi Vica . Please hang on. I'm having a bad day and can't write much .

[[Vi...]]

Hi beepop2,  :'(you mad me cry. I love you and thank you from my bottom of my heart to care and write this wonderful massage for me. I will hang  on!!!!  :smitten:I want to celebrate with you!!!! Love you

[[Vi...]]

To Jason, thank you for your encouraging words!!! I will hang on and try to be strong. Sooo hard. I see so many of my friend doing so well on depression pills and anxiety pills and I'm suffering for such a long time with no real window. Is so hard, not to have a real window bc. I think I'm not even  healing, or my brain stuck and not able to heal. You know if I would have window I would feel is healing..... so waiting for that day.

Thanks again

Hugs

[[Vi...]]

Tracy, you know I love you. Hang in there it will get better. I pm you.!!!

[[Tr...]]

Tracy, you know I love you. Hang in there it will get better. I pm you.!!!

 

Hi Vica . This sucks big time . Totally hell. Today my headache is 10 and now I know how u feel . I feel like hitting my head or just die you know . Anxiety is the worst mental disorder in the universe .

[[Vi...]]

So sorry Tracy you having a bad day. Ya is not fun and I don't know when is going to get better for me or for you. But it will come. We have to believe that. I know for you is comes and goes. At list you get some better days. Is should give you hope. It would give me a huge hope. So hang in there the better days will come for you. Just relax and take a nice hot bath. It will help.

Love and hugs my fiend.