Just Need Some Reassurance

[[So...]]

Ok so I feel worse now than I did before I started tapering so does that mean I am not getting better? I never used to be afraid of being on my own but for the past few days I have had a bad fear that I am going to go crazy and have to be committed to a psych ward. I barely recognize myself in the mirror and I didn't have depersonalization or derealization before I started my taper. I am truly scared I am losing it and will never be a functioning member of society again, I used to be the most upbeat, independent person in the world, I used to drive to and from LA and even Santa Barbara by myself at the age of 16 and I flew all over the world and sang in front of thousands of people, no panic minus a little stage fright.

 

Just losing my sense of independance, putting my wedding on hold, feeling like I have lost my mind, I don't take pleasure in things like I used to and I even feel depressed, one of the reasons I started tapering because I feel klonopin has made me depressed if that is possible, I have never dealt with that before and I feel hopeless. I have minutes or hours of feeling good, better and brighter and clearer than I did while on my max dose of klonopin, but once those moments pass it is hard to remember what being good felt like. My original problem has always been OCD, the panic attacks that caused me to be put on this were from cold turkeying off of prozac at the advice of my psychiatrist at the time, I probably never even needed this medication and now I feel like it has robbed me of my life.

 

Does anybody heal and ever truly feel like the best version of themselves again? I am doubting my own sanity right now and it is scary

[[ho...]]

Songbird, thank you for being brave and reaching out. I relate to so much of what you said and really want to reassure you that even though what you're experiencing is so difficult and hellish to go through, it's absolutely the klonopin causing it, it's NOT you I promise.

 

The reason I say this is because I've had so many days like you have described and even this morning I dipped back down for a few hours and thought What the heck is wrong with me will I be like this forever I must be losing my mind etc.

 

Now that I have taken a magnesium tablet and some vitamin B I am gradually feeling like myself again, I'm focusing on breathing and holding a cold glass of water. Sounds dumb but it's working. Same with going outside for a few minutes of fresh air even though I just wanted to hide

 

So as far as remembering how independent you once were and fearing that girl who used to drive long distances and perform on stage and feel normal, please believe me that girl is not gone she's just temporarily behind a cloud of benzos and will heal and get through this

 

Please hold on and know you're not alone

[[Lo...]]

The fears of going insane and being committed to psych ward are very common. Nobody can commit you to a psych ward against your will unless you are deemed a harm to yourself or someone else or are unable to take care of yourself. Since you have a supportive fiancée, who is your advocate in all this (also enlist the rest of your family and friends in your life as your support/advocates, as well), you will be fine. Make sure you bring someone along with you to your psych and medical appointments who is on your side, every time you go. Avoid driving in this kind of situation, as you don't need any legal issues

 

It's ok to call help lines. Nobody will come to your house unless you tell them that (1) you have suicidal thoughts and a (2) plan. You can just say your are feeling extremely depressed, scared, etc. You'll get some phone support that way, if you need it.

 

 

The thing is that your original dose may have been higher than your physical dependence on Klonopin. Basically, when you were at 3mg, your body may have been dependent on 1mg, and the other 2mg were giving you the therapeutic effect and anxiety relief. Once you've gone below that 1mg, that's where the body and mind start to really protest. You're NOT losing your mind or sanity. It's your body saying "Give me more Klonopin ^#$&%$*%(^". 

 

My advice would be to park at .75mg and try to see if you can stay there for a while without getting worse. You need to stabilize on that dose for as long as you can. If it becomes completely unbearable, then there is an option of going back to 1mg. Please do not taper down any further until you feel better for a while.

 

I totally understand. I  used to fly to different places, saw different countries, worked in very high stress jobs, drove, took trains without much anxiety and was very upbeat about life. There are many people on this site who used to be high achievers and pushed themselves a little too hard, which resulted in either depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Enter the world of SSRI's and benzos from that point on

 

[[So...]]

The fears of going insane and being committed to psych ward are very common. The thing is that your original dose may have been higher than your physical dependence on Klonopin.

 

Ok so does that mean though that my feeling of sanity will come back? And I am uncomfortable because my body has reached the point of being around where I am now craving Klonopin physically?

[[Lo...]]

The fears of going insane and being committed to psych ward are very common. The thing is that your original dose may have been higher than your physical dependence on Klonopin.

 

Ok so does that mean though that my feeling of sanity will come back? And I am uncomfortable because my body has reached the point of being around where I am now craving Klonopin physically?

 

Yes, that's classic physical dependence on it. How do you take it? I am assuming 3x a day (.25mg, .25mg, .25mg). Right? Wrong? It's recommended during taper to spread out doses evenly and take them at set times. Taking .25mg klonopin, 3 times a day would be common. Sometimes, people take more at night if they need it for sleep, but that may make you more anxious in the morning. If the sleep isn't an issue some people take a stronger dose in the morning. It all depends what your body is used to now and how your doc wants you to take it....

 

I don't think you've lost your sanity. It's a normal fear reaction to a very traumatic experience.

[[So...]]

The fears of going insane and being committed to psych ward are very common. The thing is that your original dose may have been higher than your physical dependence on Klonopin.

 

Ok so does that mean though that my feeling of sanity will come back? And I am uncomfortable because my body has reached the point of being around where I am now craving Klonopin physically?

 

Yes, that's classic physical dependence on it. How do you take it? I am assuming 3x a day (.25mg, .25mg, .25mg). Right? Wrong? It's recommended during taper to spread out doses evenly and take them at set times. Taking .25mg klonopin, 3 times a day would be common. Sometimes, people take more at night if they need it for sleep, but that may make you more anxious in the morning. If the sleep isn't an issue some people take a stronger dose in the morning. It all depends what your body is used to now and how your doc wants you to take it....

 

I don't think you've lost your sanity. It's a normal fear reaction to a very traumatic experience.

 

Right now I take it .25 in the morning and .5 at night, there doesn't seem to be any specific time of day where I feel noticeably worse than any other time so I might just keep taking it this way I'm not sure. Can your body heal from the physical dependance? Sorry I don't mean to bug you with so many questions

[[Lo...]]

Right now I take it .25 in the morning and .5 at night, there doesn't seem to be any specific time of day where I feel noticeably worse than any other time so I might just keep taking it this way I'm not sure. Can your body heal from the physical dependance? Sorry I don't mean to bug you with so many questions

 

If that dosing works for you, then definitely keep it that way. Yes, you can definitely heal from that physical dependence. Right now, you're healing from all the previous reductions. This is just a sign that you will need to proceed more slowly...

 

It's really kind of very unintuitive how it works. Your highest dose was 3mg. You may have had therapeutic value and a mild physical dependence between 2mg and 3mg. The therapeutic value could have been lower between 1mg and 2mg Klonopin, and at some point it becomes minimal (around 1mg, or a little higher or lower. Who really knows?). I'm just putting this out as an example. It really boils down to how you felt during the previous cuts and what amount of anxiety & brain fog & physical symptoms you had before. You know your mind & body better than anyone. I've seen so many different situations here. some people can literally make a few large cuts before the problems appear and then make smaller cuts, while some may be very dependent from the get-go and may need to make very small cuts all the way through.

 

Honestly, based on the history and all, your prognosis seems to be very good. It's just a matter of navigating through the last .75mg slowly and carefully.

[[tw...]]

It's not you... It's withdrawal. This has happened to me when I came off before. I had almost a psychotic type break when I cold turkeyed. Zero short term memory, horrifying depression, pacing, it was terrifying and I thought it was permanent, and that I'd never be myself again. I recovered. It happened again after I jumped this last time (but not as severe). I got better. I'd stay where you are for now & get stable. Keep hydrated & make sure you are eating enough calories. You will feel better soon, I promise. Hang on. You can do it!

[[So...]]

It's not you... It's withdrawal. This has happened to me when I came off before. I had almost a psychotic type break when I cold turkeyed. Zero short term memory, horrifying depression, pacing, it was terrifying and I thought it was permanent, and that I'd never be myself again. I recovered. It happened again after I jumped this last time (but not as severe). I got better. I'd stay where you are for now & get stable. Keep hydrated & make sure you are eating enough calories. You will feel better soon, I promise. Hang on. You can do it!

 

 

Thanks so much, it is the scariest feeling honestly to feel like you have lost your mind, and if you haven't been through it, it really is impossible to describe to somebody without sounding crazy. How long did it take to feel the healing the first time if you don't mind me asking? I just hate feeling like I am looking at life through somebody else's eyes or as just an observer, I barely recognize myself in the mirror and I'm starting to get concerned but it's been four days since I cut and I don't know if I should upside not or give it more time. Did anything help you feel better? I have been following your posts and I saw the last cut down to .375 has been hard for you, I too read success stories like they are candy, but it shows me that people can heal and you healed before so you are living proof of the brains ability to heal! Thanks so much for your constant reassurance and kind words, my parents kind of just want to act like this isn't happening and don't talk to me about it or get it so it's scary to feel alone with this.

[[Tw...]]

I have moments of clarity tapering now where I will feel like myself before all of this and I haven't had those in a years time roughly. The same symptoms and more I have or had and even though I'm still technically on the medicine, I've 100% noticed those symptoms come and go at different moments. For a while it was constant though and I felt exactly how you described. Gives me a good sense of hope for actually making a full circle recovery someday.

[[So...]]

Right now I take it .25 in the morning and .5 at night, there doesn't seem to be any specific time of day where I feel noticeably worse than any other time so I might just keep taking it this way I'm not sure. Can your body heal from the physical dependance? Sorry I don't mean to bug you with so many questions

 

If that dosing works for you, then definitely keep it that way. Yes, you can definitely heal from that physical dependence. Right now, you're healing from all the previous reductions. This is just a sign that you will need to proceed more slowly...

 

It's really kind of very unintuitive how it works. Your highest dose was 3mg. You may have had therapeutic value and a mild physical dependence between 2mg and 3mg. The therapeutic value could have been lower between 1mg and 2mg Klonopin, and at some point it becomes minimal (around 1mg, or a little higher or lower. Who really knows?). I'm just putting this out as an example. It really boils down to how you felt during the previous cuts and what amount of anxiety & brain fog & physical symptoms you had before. You know your mind & body better than anyone. I've seen so many different situations here. some people can literally make a few large cuts before the problems appear and then make smaller cuts, while some may be very dependent from the get-go and may need to make very small cuts all the way through.

 

Honestly, based on the history and all, your prognosis seems to be very good. It's just a matter of navigating through the last .75mg slowly and carefully.

 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your advice. It's so scary to be going through this and I just don't want to feel like I'm failing and reinstate to a higher dose or risk kindling or anything like that, the only invariable thing right now is this new weird brain fog and depersonalization that came out of nowhere three days ago. It is the most traumatic side effect thus far honestly and I have some trouble with memory and I just feel too young for this, I just keep beating myself up for being so naive as to not stop sooner or research more, I know you can't go back but I'm sad and feeling hopeless at times and I would literally do anything to get better

[[Lo...]]

Right now I take it .25 in the morning and .5 at night, there doesn't seem to be any specific time of day where I feel noticeably worse than any other time so I might just keep taking it this way I'm not sure. Can your body heal from the physical dependance? Sorry I don't mean to bug you with so many questions

 

If that dosing works for you, then definitely keep it that way. Yes, you can definitely heal from that physical dependence. Right now, you're healing from all the previous reductions. This is just a sign that you will need to proceed more slowly...

 

It's really kind of very unintuitive how it works. Your highest dose was 3mg. You may have had therapeutic value and a mild physical dependence between 2mg and 3mg. The therapeutic value could have been lower between 1mg and 2mg Klonopin, and at some point it becomes minimal (around 1mg, or a little higher or lower. Who really knows?). I'm just putting this out as an example. It really boils down to how you felt during the previous cuts and what amount of anxiety & brain fog & physical symptoms you had before. You know your mind & body better than anyone. I've seen so many different situations here. some people can literally make a few large cuts before the problems appear and then make smaller cuts, while some may be very dependent from the get-go and may need to make very small cuts all the way through.

 

Honestly, based on the history and all, your prognosis seems to be very good. It's just a matter of navigating through the last .75mg slowly and carefully.

 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your advice. It's so scary to be going through this and I just don't want to feel like I'm failing and reinstate to a higher dose or risk kindling or anything like that, the only invariable thing right now is this new weird brain fog and depersonalization that came out of nowhere three days ago. It is the most traumatic side effect thus far honestly and I have some trouble with memory and I just feel too young for this, I just keep beating myself up for being so naive as to not stop sooner or research more, I know you can't go back but I'm sad and feeling hopeless at times and I would literally do anything to get better

 

You are welcome. I do think you have caught the issue in time before it got to the point where it could have been even a bigger issue. I think your intuition kicked in and basically, you realized something was off. That's great. Our brains are pretty good at judging ourselves in these situations, so it's important to address those emotions (therapy, self-forgiveness) or in some other way. Some good articles on the subject:

 

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/03/social-vacuum/

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/01/civilians/

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/07/the-blame-game/

 

 

[[So...]]

Right now I take it .25 in the morning and .5 at night, there doesn't seem to be any specific time of day where I feel noticeably worse than any other time so I might just keep taking it this way I'm not sure. Can your body heal from the physical dependance? Sorry I don't mean to bug you with so many questions

 

If that dosing works for you, then definitely keep it that way. Yes, you can definitely heal from that physical dependence. Right now, you're healing from all the previous reductions. This is just a sign that you will need to proceed more slowly...

 

It's really kind of very unintuitive how it works. Your highest dose was 3mg. You may have had therapeutic value and a mild physical dependence between 2mg and 3mg. The therapeutic value could have been lower between 1mg and 2mg Klonopin, and at some point it becomes minimal (around 1mg, or a little higher or lower. Who really knows?). I'm just putting this out as an example. It really boils down to how you felt during the previous cuts and what amount of anxiety & brain fog & physical symptoms you had before. You know your mind & body better than anyone. I've seen so many different situations here. some people can literally make a few large cuts before the problems appear and then make smaller cuts, while some may be very dependent from the get-go and may need to make very small cuts all the way through.

 

Honestly, based on the history and all, your prognosis seems to be very good. It's just a matter of navigating through the last .75mg slowly and carefully.

 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your advice. It's so scary to be going through this and I just don't want to feel like I'm failing and reinstate to a higher dose or risk kindling or anything like that, the only invariable thing right now is this new weird brain fog and depersonalization that came out of nowhere three days ago. It is the most traumatic side effect thus far honestly and I have some trouble with memory and I just feel too young for this, I just keep beating myself up for being so naive as to not stop sooner or research more, I know you can't go back but I'm sad and feeling hopeless at times and I would literally do anything to get better

 

You are welcome. I do think you have caught the issue in time before it got to the point where it could have been even a bigger issue. I think your intuition kicked in and basically, you realized something was off. That's great. Our brains are pretty good at judging ourselves in these situations, so it's important to address those emotions (therapy, self-forgiveness) or in some other way. Some good articles on the subject:

 

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/03/social-vacuum/

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/01/civilians/

https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/07/the-blame-game/

 

The derealization and depersonalization stuff isn't lermeant though right? I know it's only been three days but I am terrified I am brain damaged

[[tw...]]

No, it's NOT permanent, but it sure does feel like it when you are in it! I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

You will get better and you will heal - I promise. I've done it before. Just don't ever start these up again.

[[Lo...]]

No, it's NOT permanent, but it sure does feel like it when you are in it! I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

You will get better and you will heal - I promise. I've done it before. Just don't ever start these up again.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience, twinkle. As horrible as it may feel, I think that the whole derealization mechanism is some kind of natural protection that the brain does. It's a state that the brain goes to in order to shield itself from excessive panic and anxiety. I don't know how it manifests for each person on this thread, but in my case, the derealization often follows a panic attack, where the brain basically says "I am done with being panicked and overstimulated. I am going to shut off a bit for a while, since I need to heal."

 

I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

I can relate to this so much. Early on, I was convinced I had to go to a psych hospital, but I just called them to test the waters. I explained the situation and asked if they could take me off of the meds. So the guy said, "sure, we'd keep you here for a while, but you do understand it's a locked ward? (my heart sank)". So then I asked "what would you do with my meds?", and he said "we'd keep you on the same amount and would talk to you to see what caused you to take them". Then, my head cleared up and I realized, "Sheesh, I now why I ended up taking them, and I could certainly sit at home and be on that dose. Why bother going there and stressing myself out even more?"

[[Wi...]]

None of its permanent SB. I regularly feel as if im going to "flip out" and lose my mind any second. But then i try to rationalise things. What really could happen? What does losing my mind even mean? How can one lose their mind? It truly is the most frightening thing in the world when we suddenly lose our identity and its replaced with one huge fd up question mark that leaves us empty and terrified. The only thing we can do is KNOW that it is part of the wd. The person you were before the madness is whom youll return to in flying colors. Life will literally be better then it ever has been because after much suffering comes much joy. Yet that seems so far away in the midsts of the suffering. You will be GREAT whether you can believe this or not. Your mind/brain has no choice but to heal. Its the longest loneliest most suffering road you will ever travel Song but it will be over in the near future and you will become the best version of you that youve ever experienced. Hold on to that ideal and ALWAYS recognize the suffering is always only benzo withdrawal. You are young and will experience so much beauty in life to come even though it doesnt feel that way at this time. You will get thru this. Until then focus on Love and Light-ignore the negative thoughts and never forget "this to shall soon pass" as corny as that sounds because it is the Truth. Hang tough SongBird!

[[So...]]

No, it's NOT permanent, but it sure does feel like it when you are in it! I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

You will get better and you will heal - I promise. I've done it before. Just don't ever start these up again.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience, twinkle. As horrible as it may feel, I think that the whole derealization mechanism is some kind of natural protection that the brain does. It's a state that the brain goes to in order to shield itself from excessive panic and anxiety. I don't know how it manifests for each person on this thread, but in my case, the derealization often follows a panic attack, where the brain basically says "I am done with being panicked and overstimulated. I am going to shut off a bit for a while, since I need to heal."

 

I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

I can relate to this so much. Early on, I was convinced I had to go to a psych hospital, but I just called them to test the waters. I explained the situation and asked if they could take me off of the meds. So the guy said, "sure, we'd keep you here for a while, but you do understand it's a locked ward? (my heart sank)". So then I asked "what would you do with my meds?", and he said "we'd keep you on the same amount and would talk to you to see what caused you to take them". Then, my head cleared up and I realized, "Sheesh, I now why I ended up taking them, and I could certainly sit at home and be on that dose. Why bother going there and stressing myself out even more?"

 

I agree with you a lot about it probably be a symptom of coping almost went to coping mechanism for this incredibly crazy stressful worrisome process,  The fatigue I was facing is starting to get a little bit better however I did not have this brain fog and crazy DR and DP until three days ago  I am really hoping that maybe it will settle down a bit because I too have a fear of being a vegetable in bed with a mushy brain and no future.  I haven't had any panic attacks since starting my taper so I feel like maybe this is just my brain trying to heal itself hopefully and kind of protect me from the whore that is withdrawal

[[So...]]

No, it's NOT permanent, but it sure does feel like it when you are in it! I was convinced I was so brain damaged that i would have to go into a home, or have to be cared for full-time (I'm not kidding...) And I'm the primary bread-winner at my house. I was TERRIFIED.

 

You will get better and you will heal - I promise. I've done it before. Just don't ever start these up again.

 

That's EXACTLY what my thought process and biggest fear is right now and it is so scary. Did it go away slowly after you cold turkeyed the first time or did it come and go until it finally went away. Today is terrible, shaking and sweating and going from hot to freezing cold every hour or so, I am so scared and I just don't want to live like this. I feel out of control of my own brain.

[[Lo...]]

 

That's EXACTLY what my thought process and biggest fear is right now and it is so scary. Did it go away slowly after you cold turkeyed the first time or did it come and go until it finally went away. Today is terrible, shaking and sweating and going from hot to freezing cold every hour or so, I am so scared and I just don't want to live like this. I feel out of control of my own brain.

 

How bad is the shaking? Does it feel more like a light internal tremor that's not visible from the outside, or is it more of an external shaking? Any kind of electric jolt or pins/needles type feelings while you're going through this?

 

The sweating and going from hot to cold is highly unpleasant and very common. I went through that myself. Still do once in a while. It's like our internal temperature regulator is broken. You may want to stock up on cold bottled water and a lot of chamomile tea, or a decaf green tea, whatever your preference. I love black tea, but have stopped drinking it because it has some caffeine in it which makes my symptoms worse.

 

[[So...]]

 

That's EXACTLY what my thought process and biggest fear is right now and it is so scary. Did it go away slowly after you cold turkeyed the first time or did it come and go until it finally went away. Today is terrible, shaking and sweating and going from hot to freezing cold every hour or so, I am so scared and I just don't want to live like this. I feel out of control of my own brain.

 

How bad is the shaking? Does it feel more like a light internal tremor that's not visible from the outside, or is it more of an external shaking? Any kind of electric jolt or pins/needles type feelings while you're going through this?

 

The sweating and going from hot to cold is highly unpleasant and very common. I went through that myself. Still do once in a while. It's like our internal temperature regulator is broken. You may want to stock up on cold bottled water and a lot of chamomile tea, or a decaf green tea, whatever your preference. I love black tea, but have stopped drinking it because it has some caffeine in it which makes my symptoms worse.

 

More of an internal shaking kind of thing. Today is the worst day yet in terms of depersonalization, I truly feel like I am losing my mind I feel completely checked out mentally and really shut down emotionally and I just want to know that I'm not brain-damaged and then it gets better I keep thinking maybe I should go to the hospital but I don't know if they would even do for me

[[Lo...]]

 

That's EXACTLY what my thought process and biggest fear is right now and it is so scary. Did it go away slowly after you cold turkeyed the first time or did it come and go until it finally went away. Today is terrible, shaking and sweating and going from hot to freezing cold every hour or so, I am so scared and I just don't want to live like this. I feel out of control of my own brain.

 

How bad is the shaking? Does it feel more like a light internal tremor that's not visible from the outside, or is it more of an external shaking? Any kind of electric jolt or pins/needles type feelings while you're going through this?

 

The sweating and going from hot to cold is highly unpleasant and very common. I went through that myself. Still do once in a while. It's like our internal temperature regulator is broken. You may want to stock up on cold bottled water and a lot of chamomile tea, or a decaf green tea, whatever your preference. I love black tea, but have stopped drinking it because it has some caffeine in it which makes my symptoms worse.

 

More of an internal shaking kind of thing. Today is the worst day yet in terms of depersonalization, I truly feel like I am losing my mind I feel completely checked out mentally and really shut down emotionally and I just want to know that I'm not brain-damaged and then it gets better I keep thinking maybe I should go to the hospital but I don't know if they would even do for me

 

Every hospital is different, but most likely they would check your vitals (blood pressure, pulse, oxygen saturation rate). If you have any chest tightness, they may do a chest X ray and an EKG or something of the sort. And then if all your vitals are good, they'll most likely give you a klonopin pill and discharge you. That's what happened to me, except it was an ativan pill, instead. I regretted going because being in ER stressed me out too much and I would have been better off if I didn't go that time, but I thought I'd get more help.

 

Do keep in mind that a lot of symptoms may worsen if you are alone in the house. If you had a friend you trust or a family member around, you'd feel better. There is something called monophobia ("fear of being alone") that a lot of people on benzos develop, even if they never had such a problem in their life before.

[[Lo...]]

 

[[So...]]

 

I love her!! SO honest and I am so sad that she got back on it again after going though hell for 5 months and then feeling better, she also made me laugh so thank you so much for that!

[[Lo...]]

 

I love her!! SO honest and I am so sad that she got back on it again after going though hell for 5 months and then feeling better, she also made me laugh so thank you so much for that!

 

Yes, she is such a trooper. Very nice woman, actually. It's a shame she reinstated.

 

I also like Mandie's videos. She has a really good sense of humor about it, despite what she was going through. She's recovered pretty decently. So, that's why tapering slow is the key...

 

https://youtu.be/pt4fy8P0GDo

[[Wi...]]

 

I love her!! SO honest and I am so sad that she got back on it again after going though hell for 5 months and then feeling better, she also made me laugh so thank you so much for that!

 

 

 

SB

That chick in the video got back on xanax? How do u know? Did she do another video where she said she reinstated? TX!