I need this wave to end

[[Je...]]

I am so frustrated by this never ending wave. I cant seem to get relief. I pray to God for mercy.  I can't even take care of myself and this hit me after i was making so much progress. I am feeling down. I try to distract, etc. But i am so freaking frustrated. The muscle cramping is making my eyes spasm and i cant go to a store or get food. I am dependinf on my folks and I am a 40 year old woman and my dad continues to remind me of this. Ahhhhh....i just want to pull my eyes out. Fogive me for complaining. It could and has been wors . I just want to be able to go home as long as i still have one and rest quietly away from all of this judgement. Time is so off. Perception is off. Minutes feel like hours. Days are like weeks. Okay rant is done for now. Thanks.

[[ro...]]

You deserve to get better and you will! You have been so kind in responding to some of my posts and you and I both cannot wait for the miracle of healing for you to happen because you definitely deserve it! I am sorry you are in pain and I hope that knowing that you are appreciated can help you feel a little bit better

 

 

[[Je...]]

Thanks Robert! I appreciate that! I just feel like I am in the never ending spin cycle! A kind word is more than appreciated and I will make sure to tell the world when this hell ends. I hope you are doing better. I never thought i would be back to this at 14 months but everyone says things are not always linear. Hopefully i can keep waiting and watching time tick so slow with a better attitude. I just want a break at least! thanks for responding

[[ro...]]

I more than commend you for 14 months of this, I was at my wits end 3 days into it and personally do not believe that I have strength that anyhow matches yours.

 

You are quite remarkable you know!

[[ge...]]

I understand. I'm hitting the one year mark free of benzos, was doing so good, and bam got slammed with a wave. This time the muscles in my neck are constricted so tight I can barely move my head. People are so quick to throw out ideas on what I should do, but I've noticed no one wants to hear me blame Xanax anymore.  Soon their doubt makes me doubt that relief is possible. You are blessed with family that can help, even though it's hard to rely on others. I have to continue to work two jobs through this, and I spend most of my free time crying to be honest. My body is exhausted, and my faith in God is wearing thin. I feel no one around me understands. I've never felt this down. I woke up this morning and I'm trying to focus on the positives. My kids have a roof over their heads, today is a new day, and another day means another chance for a miracle. I have to believe this improves for all of us. Praying for you.

[[Je...]]

Sorry to hear you are struggling gettingthere74. It is truly amazing that you are able to work. You must be super strong. And you take care of your kids. Wow! You are awesome. Praying we all get relief. I was always that totally independent woman so this has completely humbled and broken me down. Today my body temperature is sooo cold. I hate how the system of our body just doesnt want to work as it should. Hopefully we will be well soon.  God bless and dont give up.

[[do...]]

I've been in a month-long wave and it's driving me nuts! I had just returned to the gym and things were looking up. Then? SLAMMED. 

 

 

[[Je...]]

I am sorry Donnieogik! This whole getting slammed by a wave sucks for sure. I try to have a good attitude but not being able to walk or go to grocery or drive has me super bummed. We just have to keep going.

[[do...]]

I am sorry Donnieogik! This whole getting slammed by a wave sucks for sure. I try to have a good attitude but not being able to walk or go to grocery or drive has me super bummed. We just have to keep going.

 

I know. It's so hard! It's terrible. I'm sorry you're struggling. Mark my words, I AM going to the gym tomorrow. I don't care if I looked like a zombie. 

[[Je...]]

Good luck at the gym. Walk some weight off for me. I cant wait to be able to go in a car again and walk on my treadmill. Soon I hope.

[[ge...]]

Thank you for the encouragement!  You will have your independent self back,  it's just a matter of time! Honestly, I'm doing it all, but I can't say it's a great success. I'm very down. This week I had to take two days off to just sleep. Between the pain and emotions, I just crashed for hours. Funny, taking meds started with not being able to sleep, now I can sleep for days at a time. I used to struggle with the cold body. I bought heated mattress pad, and would warm my bed up before snuggling in to warm up. I never left it on for fear of roasting, but it helped! I still take hot Epson salt baths, which also help. Thankfully that symptom passed. Hang in there!!

[[Ma...]]

I am so frustrated by this never ending wave. I cant seem to get relief. I pray to God for mercy.  I can't even take care of myself and this hit me after i was making so much progress. I am feeling down. I try to distract, etc. But i am so freaking frustrated. The muscle cramping is making my eyes spasm and i cant go to a store or get food. I am dependinf on my folks and I am a 40 year old woman and my dad continues to remind me of this. Ahhhhh....i just want to pull my eyes out. Fogive me for complaining. It could and has been wors . I just want to be able to go home as long as i still have one and rest quietly away from all of this judgement. Time is so off. Perception is off. Minutes feel like hours. Days are like weeks. Okay rant is done for now. Thanks.

 

I have it too for 2 months and it gets bit better then again.It is hard very hard but what to do?

[[co...]]

Didn't read all the posts but I wanted to give you some hope. I had a pretty good window at month 7 thinking I was healing and then got hit so hard in month 12, on Christmas day of all days, that I was bedridden and thought I was dying for 3 months. Then I slowly got better and by month 18 I was doing fairly well. I'm at month 27 and approaching 90% healed. It gets better, hang in there!

[[Je...]]

Thanks confused!  I hope it gets better soon. I am praying for relief from this. I just feel so beat down and this last wave has been terror. Thanks for the hope and encouragement.