Convinced I have a serious illness

[[So...]]

I am really starting to worry that I have chronic fatigue syndrome or some horrible debilitating illness not caused by Klonopin at all. This fatigue isn't just feeling tired, it's not being able to get out of bed, walking to the kitchen feels like a marathon, I can barely keep my eyes open type of fatigue. My body feels heavy and exhausted constantly, my sleep is very broken up at night and the only times I have felt better from this fatigue was after I slept for about 10 hours. I have had a few days where it seems to get a bit better or moments but then I wake up today and once again I am exhausted and can't function.

 

I really want to know this is just the Klonopin, I feel hopeless like I've lost my mind, I truly fear this is a severe disease even though I have had every test reassuring me it's not. After lowering my dosage the other day I actually feel clear today mentally but so exhausted it is hard to enjoy it. I just am so scared and don't know what to do, Klonopin still even as I decrease makes me sleepy as heel after taking it.

[[lo...]]

You know it's just w.d. I have the same thing, and unfortunately made the decision to slow down my taper even more, so that the fatigue isn't as intense. Oh well.

 

This mimics CFS

[[So...]]

You know it's just w.d. I have the same thing, and unfortunately made the decision to slow down my taper even more, so that the fatigue isn't as intense. Oh well.

 

This mimics CFS

 

It's so confusing you know and nobody gets it, you feel like you are losing your mind, psychiatrists don't get it at all, this is literally like healing from a traumatic brain injury and I some days are great and others just suck, some moments are great but other are excruciating and filled with negative thoughts. I feel tired after taking my Klonopin now that I have addressed my anxiety issue so I don't eve. Know if the Klonopin is helping or hurting right now

[[Ca...]]

Welcome to benzo tapering...  Finding the pace that suits you will help... -But there will still be times where you just go "WTF", and it is confidence in your chosen taper reigeme, that will help you get through these times...

 

[[Lo...]]

You know it's just w.d. I have the same thing, and unfortunately made the decision to slow down my taper even more, so that the fatigue isn't as intense. Oh well.

 

This mimics CFS

 

It's so confusing you know and nobody gets it, you feel like you are losing your mind, psychiatrists don't get it at all, this is literally like healing from a traumatic brain injury and I some days are great and others just suck, some moments are great but other are excruciating and filled with negative thoughts. I feel tired after taking my Klonopin now that I have addressed my anxiety issue so I don't eve. Know if the Klonopin is helping or hurting right now

 

Hey Songbird127,

I think you may be tapering a bit too fast. I also see you've made a very recent reduction. You may want to hold for a while until you feel a bit better.

Does your doctor have you on a strict taper regimen, or can you tell him that you have to hold for a bit longer to recover?

 

 

 

[[So...]]

You know it's just w.d. I have the same thing, and unfortunately made the decision to slow down my taper even more, so that the fatigue isn't as intense. Oh well.

 

This mimics CFS

 

It's so confusing you know and nobody gets it, you feel like you are losing your mind, psychiatrists don't get it at all, this is literally like healing from a traumatic brain injury and I some days are great and others just suck, some moments are great but other are excruciating and filled with negative thoughts. I feel tired after taking my Klonopin now that I have addressed my anxiety issue so I don't eve. Know if the Klonopin is helping or hurting right now

 

Hey Songbird127,

I think you may be tapering a bit too fast. I also see you've made a very recent reduction. You may want to hold for a while until you feel a bit better.

Does your doctor have you on a strict taper regimen, or can you tell him that you have to hold for a bit to recover?

 

No she doesn't but I have been in tolerance withdrawal for about a year before I started tapering down from 1.75 and I haven't been stable at all since, even with holding for over a month, I truly don't believe I will start to feel better until I come off of this

[[Lo...]]

I understand. Just be careful. It gets a bit more difficult once you get below 1mg, and you've gone from 1.5mg to .75, in 4 months which is admirable, but it may be a touch too fast for you to feel some relief. You don't want to taper faster than your brain/body can handle. If your symptoms start getting worse, it is usually wise to hold until you feel a bit better.

 

Do you feel like Klonopin is still giving you any anxiety relief, or do you feel like you're taking it just to avoid feeling even sicker?

 

http://benzosupport.org/my_fatigue.htm

http://benzosupport.org/my_troubling_thoughts.htm

http://benzosupport.org/my_fear.htm

[[Ca...]]

Im just wondering what happens when one gets to 0 and is still far from stable??? Wouldnt it be similar to a C/T??? -just wondering, cos i see a few rushing to get there...

[[So...]]

Im just wondering what happens when one gets to 0 and is still far from stable??? Wouldnt it be similar to a C/T??? -just wondering, cos i see a few rushing to get there...

 

Ok now I'm really scared, do you think I'm in trouble?

[[Lo...]]

I don't think you're in trouble. I think you're ok. I thought your taper speed is a bit too fast, but it's still a reasonable taper rate. Your body is still taking time to adjust to the .75mg dose. I think most people feel the reduction some 2-4 days after they make it, which would explain some increase in fatigue, anxiety, etc. It's the way the process works.

[[Lo...]]

Im just wondering what happens when one gets to 0 and is still far from stable??? Wouldnt it be similar to a C/T??? -just wondering, cos i see a few rushing to get there...

 

That would be acute withdrawal, which would last for several weeks. It may be bad, but not even remotely close to doing a C/T. Some people can do faster tapers, some can't. It really depends on so many factors: age, length of time on the meds, dose, type of use (as needed vs daily), situational anxiety, real life support (family and friends), etc. etc.

 

Someone who's alone and has no meaningful support may have harder time coming off of 0.25mg K, than someone who is on 1mg K but has friends and family to help, a decent doctor, etc.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Im just wondering what happens when one gets to 0 and is still far from stable??? Wouldnt it be similar to a C/T??? -just wondering, cos i see a few rushing to get there...

 

Ok now I'm really scared, do you think I'm in trouble?

No, not meant to scare at all...  And I dont think in any big trouble... -perhaps at a point wher the right info that gives you confidence for the road ahead, would be real handy... And many are trying...

 

just wondering about tollerance and others that have gone before you... others that are in a similar situation... some people end up protracted, some reinstate, and i hope some wonder off happily, never to be seen again...

 

But I would hate to think that I was Holding to adjust, for no good reason...

 

At some point the body must adjust to the amount of reduced or no medication... -How and when this happens, in different situations, is what interests me...

 

When I read of people protracted many years out, after tapering, it gives me pause... Thats the bit i wouldnt wish for anyone... we dont tend to get their perspective on this thread as their reality can be a bit much for some, and to me, that is sad... -possibly even our loss...

 

I know what lead me to my post accute on another med... But I couldnt say for sure that I would be much better off if I hadnt finnished with a C/T...?

 

My personal opinion is to balance the books while tapering, and holding if/when need be... -but I have also read enough on here to know that its not that simple, and some feel pushing through is best for them... The post Jump bit is what I havnt heard so much about...

 

At the end of the day, its not about one method, but a compilation of individual experiences, from which to draw upon..

 

[[Ca...]]

Im just wondering what happens when one gets to 0 and is still far from stable??? Wouldnt it be similar to a C/T??? -just wondering, cos i see a few rushing to get there...

 

That would be acute withdrawal, which would last for several weeks. It may be bad, but not even remotely close to doing a C/T. Some people can do faster tapers, some can't. It really depends on so many factors: age, length of time on the meds, dose, type of use (as needed vs daily), situational anxiety, real life support (family and friends), etc. etc.

 

Someone who's alone and has no meaningful support may have harder time coming off of 0.25mg K, than someone who is on 1mg K but has friends and family to help, a decent doctor, etc.

Thanks Loraz...

so I could possibly trade months of Holding with its reducing suffering, for Several weeks of perhaps more intense SX, but a probable shorter time frame...? -Depending of course, on many factors...

Hmmm... -maybe flip a coin...?

Ta for your explination...

 

[[Lo...]]

Just a really good FAQ list about this:

 

http://benzosupport.org/faq.htm

[[tw...]]

FWIW, I jumped from .25 after tapering down from 2 mg & found myself in basically the exact same shape as when I ct'd off 2 mg. I'm not saying this to scare anyone, but to just point out the fact you need to give your body TIME to get used to functioning without a benzo & to get USED to your body feeling what it's like to be anxious so you don't freak out. I keep wanting to speed up the process, which is why I wasn't successful at jumping from .25... Your body needs enough time to adjust to not having this poison to suppress it's natural reactions.

 

I'm still probably going faster than I should yet again, but will not jump anywhere near .25 this time & plan to be on the lowest dose possible for AT LEAST 14 days before I jump again.

 

I had a bad week last week because I went from .5 to .375...I keep wanting to go ahead & cut to .25 again to speed up the process since I'm already suffering, but I can't. The more time I can give my body to learn to function again without a benzo, the better!

[[So...]]

FWIW, I jumped from .25 after tapering down from 2 mg & found myself in basically the exact same shape as when I ct'd off 2 mg. I'm not saying this to scare anyone, but to just point out the fact you need to give your body TIME to get used to functioning without a benzo & to get USED to your body feeling what it's like to be anxious so you don't freak out. I keep wanting to speed up the process, which is why I wasn't successful at jumping from .25... Your body needs enough time to adjust to not having this poison to suppress it's natural reactions.

 

I'm still probably going faster than I should yet again, but will not jump anywhere near .25 this time & plan to be on the lowest dose possible for AT LEAST 14 days before I jump again.

 

I had a bad week last week because I went from .5 to .375...I keep wanting to go ahead & cut to .25 again to speed up the process since I'm already suffering, but I can't. The more time I can give my body to learn to function again without a benzo, the better!

 

That's the whole thing though is that I'm not anxious at all, said started taking a vitamin that I was seriously defficient in and my anxiety went away all I have now is some depersonalization and debilitating fatigue which is what makes me want to be off sooner rather than later, I can feel myself coming back to life mentally the lower I go like the fog is lifting but I just want the fatigue to go away so badly it is making me worried that the fatigue isn't from the Klonopin. Before I started this vitamin al I felt was anxious but once that was addressed I am left with horrible fatigue almost like being drugged. Could that mean my body truly is rejecting the Klonopin at this point

[[Ma...]]

Def Benzo witthdrawals.

[[Lo...]]

That's the whole thing though is that I'm not anxious at all, said started taking a vitamin that I was seriously defficient in and my anxiety went away all I have now is some depersonalization and debilitating fatigue which is what makes me want to be off sooner rather than later, I can feel myself coming back to life mentally the lower I go like the fog is lifting but I just want the fatigue to go away so badly it is making me worried that the fatigue isn't from the Klonopin. Before I started this vitamin al I felt was anxious but once that was addressed I am left with horrible fatigue almost like being drugged. Could that mean my body truly is rejecting the Klonopin at this point

 

It really is different for a lot of people. If you are not the kind of person who's grappled with panic attacks since very early age, but had some severely stressful episodes that caused them, you may be one of those who may experience brain fog/fatigue symptoms more than the anxiety/panic symptoms. The fact that you've been tapering nice and steady without rescue doses/updoses, etc. tells me that panic/anxiety may not be your biggest issue. It sounds like brain fog and fatigue may be more of an issue for you. For your peace of mind, you may want to get some blood work done and check your thyroid function. Sometimes people get misdiagnosed and get put on these meds where they may be having low thyroid function or something of the sort. Not saying that's the case, but it happens.

 

I don't think your body is rejecting the drug. If anything it's being pissed that it's getting less and less of it. Our brains are lazy and if we introduce an anti-anxiety drug that helps it deal with anxiety/panic, the brain we'll gladly take the extra help. But it takes a lot of time for that same brain to go back to what it does without the presence of Klonopin. So, all the effects you're feeling is basically neuroadaptation i.e. your brain getting slowly rewired to work with less Klonopin in the system. And it does take time...

[[be...]]

I have bout of fatigue here and there. I hate them cause I think I've ruined my day. But I try to look on the positive side and say I'd rather have that then stay up all night, which is bound to happen at some point. I also agree that I believe you tapered fast. May want to slow it down a bit.

[[dr...]]

If you were in tolerance withdrawal you usually will never find stability unless you updose which is a non starter. Going too fast can make things worse though.  I was in terrible tolerance withdrawal for several years but never knew what was wrong.  I spent 26 months tapering and I'm now considered protracted. I've improved a lot though.  My whole taper was hell but once completely off at least I knew I no longer was putting that poison in my body and true healing could begin.  I went as fast as I could but it was still a long taper.

The cfs feeling is very common. I'm sorry you have it but it all sounds like benzo withdrawal. Keep going as there is no way but through.

[[wa...]]

There is definitely no point in worrying about any diagnoses like M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis) until you are off the benzo for some time.  Way too many sxs of w/d mimic M.E./CFS    If you still want to look into it - research on phoenixrising.org - what tests - what docs, etc.

WBB

[[Or...]]

I know the exact level of immovable crushing fatigue you are experiencing. It was my first tolerance symptom over 2 years ago now and I spent thousands of dollars trying to find the source of my problem not knowing it was the benzos. I became bed ridden for 6 months, left my company for a year and a half and ended up in hospital for a month the whole while no drs or specialists  indicating that the relentless terror, repetitive thoughts and debilitating fatigue could be the very meds they were suggesting. Instinctivly I stopped my day dose CT not knowing about benzo withdrawal and then tapered my night dose over 6 weeks. From what I've now learnt this was far too rapid but honestly I was far sicker on these meds than I was off of them. My symptoms on them were a living hell minute to minute but very slowly off of Ativan I felt my mind returning from the insanity it was in. Most of my symptoms were mental except the fatigue which at 10 months off is still my remaining hurdle. Within months of coming off Ativan I was able to return to my business a few days a week for a few hours at at time. At 6 months I began socialising again occasionally but I am still plagued by fatigue. This isn't any ordinary fatigue, it is immovable, chronic, life robbing fatigue that I can only compare to being completed sedated but your mind is still fully active, there were months that I couldn't even watch Rv due to the fact I couldn't keep my eyes open or hold my head up, I wouldn't shower or brush my teeth for days because I couldn't stand for long, just getting the energy to go to the toilet would take hours of convincing myself to move my body. When I was locked in a state of permanent terror I would have given anything to "just" have fatigue but now that I'm ready to live my life again my body is letting me down, it's strange to say that I'm actually "afraid" of the level of fatigue I experience. I too constantly google fatigue in relation to benzo withdrawal to reassure myself and although there are other people that experience it I'm always afraid that mine seems more severe. I am now able to work 4-5 days a week for approx 4 hours each day and I'm much better in the evenings than I am in the morning but a majority of my time is spent of the couch dreading the fact that life is going on with out me. I do get out for dinner once or twice a week but always pay for it the following day. I'm also unable to nap which makes it all the worse. I too am afraid I have developed CFS but I remind myself how much I've improved since this time last year and friends and family around me are constantly telling how much better I am so I take some reassurance in that. I don't know if I've made my situation worse by coming off too fast or maybe I would have suffered longer for tapering slower all I know is my body did better off the drugs. I hope your fatigue lets up, I know what it's like to want to be back in your once wonderful life but instead you're stuck on the same couch or in the same bed day after day just waiting, what a waste! you do have a serious illness but that serious illness is benzo withdrawal and unfortunately the only cure is time, I fully sympathise with you as I lay on my couch...fatigue is a scary bitch!