21 months off

[[Lo...]]

21 months off, well close enough anyway and although im not healed yet i have improved alot and have a lot to be thankful for.

 

My jump was horrific but was my own fault as i was not ready and i knew it. I got impatient and jumped anyway which left me horribly incapacitated, could barely hold my own bodyweight or hold a conversation and i kept getting worse for the first 6 months. Around month 5 i was convinced i was going to die at any moment everyday and actually was welcoming it i was in so much mental and physical pain. I literally got hit with every symptom in the book with brute force.

 

Fast forward 21 months and i have my brain back. I have recovered from the chemical retardation and am thinking with 100% clarity apart from a little cogfog and anxiety every now and then but is manageable.

 

The main issue in dealing with now is stamina. I have to take life at alot slower pace and not push too hard or ill end up on the couch for a day but will bounce back the day after. I am a tradesman and my job is very physical. I am back at work doing small installations about 3 hours a day 3 days a week as well as painting the house.

 

I can drive around town ,  go to the shops , deal with customers and socialise with my friends with minimal anxiety and feel connected with myself and others. My horror days are over thank god. Still away to go but doing ok 

 

No matter how disconnected you feel or how much your hurting i promise you will come back. Do what you can but dont push too hard and be kind to yourself. You will be yourself again one day it just takes time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

I am so happy for you. Just look how far you have come! Congrats on the 21 months. :smitten:

[[bc...]]

Congrats on 21 months.....wow....another milestone.....so happy to hear you are doing so well.....may you have complete healing in the next few months.

 

Sending you healing hugs and thoughts.........

[[Se...]]

Thanks for providing hope . I needed that today.

[[Lo...]]

Congrats on 21 months.....wow....another milestone.....so happy to hear you are doing so well.....may you have complete healing in the next few months.

 

Sending you healing hugs and thoughts.........

 

Becalm my old friend great to hear from you!  How are you holding up and how far off now??

[[bc...]]

Lockie, my dear......I am still struggling.....off of benzos 17.5 months and the AD 4.5 months......my biggest and worst sxs that has been with me since interdose withdrawal is the anxiety....which brings with it the tremors, rapid breathing, being totally overwhelmed by everything and the feelings of just not being  ''me".....I do have other sxs that come and go and some muscle/joint pain that can be bad at times.....but the anxiety is really wearing on me.  I do at times have some breaks where it is not as severe, so perhaps a partial window....but never 100%  window.  It this anxiety would lift, I would feel better but it doesn't seem to be leaving.  Part of it could also be the AD wd....not sure what is causing what.  Just trying to get thru each and every day  Still seems like a very long road ahead. 

 

Happy that you are seeing better days and are continuously improving......you will be free soon.

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts to you.......

[[Lo...]]

Lockie, my dear......I am still struggling.....off of benzos 17.5 months and the AD 4.5 months......my biggest and worst sxs that has been with me since interdose withdrawal is the anxiety....which brings with it the tremors, rapid breathing, being totally overwhelmed by everything and the feelings of just not being  ''me".....I do have other sxs that come and go and some muscle/joint pain that can be bad at times.....but the anxiety is really wearing on me.  I do at times have some breaks where it is not as severe, so perhaps a partial window....but never 100%  window.  It this anxiety would lift, I would feel better but it doesn't seem to be leaving.  Part of it could also be the AD wd....not sure what is causing what.  Just trying to get thru each and every day  Still seems like a very long road ahead. 

 

Happy that you are seeing better days and are continuously improving......you will be free soon.

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts to you.......

 

Hi becalm.

 

So sorry you are still struggling. Thats great you are off the antidepressants as well...... congratulations! Yes it is a long road unfortunately and time is the only healer.

 

Stay strong my friend thats 17.5 months you never have to do again

[[bc...]]

Thanks, Lockie.....I really thought that I would be feeling a lot better by this time in this horrendous journey.  These sxs are very persistent and very debilitating.  Never thought I would be protracted..especially after a short term use of benzos..but here it is just a bit shy of 18 months.  Perhaps the AD wd is playing a role in this too....so I am getting it from both wds.  This is not an easy road to travel....but what choice is there....none.

 

Hoping that your next few months will bring your healing to an end and you will be able to enjoy your life again.  I sure miss mine.....but trying desperately to hang on.

 

Sending healing hugs and thoughts your way............

[[Ta...]]

Hi Lockie.

Thanks for your inspirational update.  These kind of posts make us strive to stay on track because we all want those

days where we feel like we are really living.

Keep kicking ass Lockie!!

Tallow

:smitten: :smitten: