I cannot read successed stories any more.

[[Ma...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

[[ro...]]

there is not a doubt in my mind you will be fine, although this is painful for you now there is not a doubt in my mind that you will appreciate life more than ever once you have completely healed.

 

Even what you used to call a bad day before this will be walking on sunshine  all you have to do is have confidence in your healing (Which i definitely do) and it will be here before you know it.

 

On a secondary note did you drink alcohol before these few months you were on benzos and z drugs?

[[Ma...]]

there is not a doubt in my mind you will be fine, although this is painful for you now there is not a doubt in my mind that you will appreciate life more than ever once you have completely healed.

 

Even what you used to call a bad day before this will be walking on sunshine  all you have to do is have confidence in your healing (Which i definitely do) and it will be here before you know it.

 

On a secondary note did you drink alcohol before these few months you were on benzos and z drugs?

 

Thank you.I do not believe in healing anymore.i did not drink no alcohol.

[[ro...]]

I am sorry that you do not believe in healing anymore

 

However that will make it an even more pleasant suprise when it happens! just stay away from those devilish pills and you will be golden 

[[He...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

 

hi

 

Just accept it and focus in your problem. Everybody is different.  You will heal, just give it time.

[[Ma...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

 

hi

 

Just accept it and focus in your problem. Everybody is different.  You will heal, just give it time.

 

I see no way out but thank you.

[[He...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

 

hi

 

Just accept it and focus in your problem. Everybody is different.  You will heal, just give it time.

 

I see no way out but thank you.

 

nobody sees when symptoms are intense

 

more you get frustrated and bad feelings about it, more it takes...

[[Ma...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

 

hi

 

Just accept it and focus in your problem. Everybody is different.  You will heal, just give it time.

 

I see no way out but thank you.

 

nobody sees when symptoms are intense

 

more you get frustrated and bad feelings about it, more it takes...

I know you mean  good and Thank you for that but do you know what a short time users I was?Read my signitiure.DO you know that I had no windows for over 3 months (few days felt bit better)?Do you know that every day I feel worst and worst.Not better and better how it should be for short term user...And every day I read a stories how people that was long users or was CT are in 7,8,9,10 month totally healed or better.Do you know how this feels?No you do not!But thank you any way. 

[[He...]]

I have read today 3 succes stories from people that was off benzzos little bit earlier or like me.They was CT or they was on benzzos for years...In other hand I suffer like Crazy and even worst then in acute every day and I was short time user.This life is not fair.It is not ok.There is not justice here.I am so mad and depressed. :'(

 

hi

 

Just accept it and focus in your problem. Everybody is different.  You will heal, just give it time.

 

I see no way out but thank you.

 

nobody sees when symptoms are intense

 

more you get frustrated and bad feelings about it, more it takes...

I know you mean  good and Thank you for that but do you know what a short time users I was?Read my signitiure.DO you know that I had no windows for over 3 months (few days felt bit better)?Do you know that every day I feel worst and worst.Not better and better how it should be for short term user...And every day I read a stories how people that was long users or was CT are in 7,8,9,10 month totally healed or better.Do you know how this feels?No you do not!But thank you any way. 

 

I used estazolam during 3 weeks 4 times in a year. I had (and still have ) almost all mental symptoms.

 

Our nervous systems are different. Forget the others Time will heal, you have to help your body with your thoughts

[[Su...]]

Your user time is similar to mine - short term by simple simple definition but anything over 7 days is considered long term use. That being said it looks like you were doing well for a while off and on and now really doing badly. Are you able to exercise at all? I know you're angry frustrated and pissed off and you have every right to be. I feel like that too especially when I'm in pain. I FORCE myself to be positive and yes it's a struggle but I do see improvements. I know you said you gave up and sometimes that is actually a good place because acceptance leads to less anger and frustration. You're body is trying its best to heal and it sounds like you're having a hard hard time. When you were doing a little better did you do anything different that what you are doing now? Are you especially stressed out? Do you have any physical support? When I read your thread above - I just hope you're not suicidal. You will heal but it may take a lot more time. It is not fun thinking about it. Time moves slow. Is it at all possible for you to distract your mind with anything you like doing? Guitar, running, petting your animals, preparing a meal that's interesting, watching a comedy? I hope you get a window soon. Sounds like you really could use one my friend... My heart goes out to you big time. Feel free to reach out to me if you need to. Don't do anything permanent when in 3 years you'll see this time was temporary.

[[He...]]

https://steptohealth.com/negative-thoughts-emotions-harm-body/

 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you.I am in bit stress but I was before.I cannot distract myself!I have no clue how people do that when they are in such situation but I cannot.I am not suicidalne but I am very mad!

[[Bh...]]

Masha,

I completely understand. I'm 15 months out and far from healed. Protracted looks like it's in my near future. But I'm ok with this. My brain is healing, I feel it. My symptoms aren't gone, but they are improving. Even on the rare, really nasty day, I still am better then I was. You have to look at your progress. We can do this together. PM me if you ever need to talk.. It's nice to have someone to vent to.

Just think, spring will be in the air shortly....after this blizzard in the northeast passes. Lol The nice weather will pick up your mood and healing will be second nature. My garden and yard are calling me already. I can't wait!! Find a new hobby in the meantime. 

Bhealthy

 

[[Ma...]]

Masha,

I completely understand. I'm 15 months out and far from healed. Protracted looks like it's in my near future. But I'm ok with this. My brain is healing, I feel it. My symptoms aren't gone, but they are improving. Even on the rare, really nasty day, I still am better then I was. You have to look at your progress. We can do this together. PM me if you ever need to talk.. It's nice to have someone to vent to.

Just think, spring will be in the air shortly....after this blizzard in the northeast passes. Lol The nice weather will pick up your mood and healing will be second nature. My garden and yard are calling me already. I can't wait!! Find a new hobby in the meantime. 

Bhealthy

Thank you but at you something is progressing and you are improving at me it gets worst.You have reason to be positive because you are better.Why should i be positive?For getting worst?Thank you for support.

[[Ma...]]

https://steptohealth.com/negative-thoughts-emotions-harm-body/

 

 

I am usually happy and positive person but I cannot be positive when I am worst and worst.I should be happy that I am feeling bad or what?Thanks any way.

[[Bh...]]

I understand where you are coming from. I have a hard time being positive when a I feel so craipy. Today, my headache/head pressure is pretty intense with horrible muscle pain in my back. The fatigue is constant too. So please know I'm not healed, I'm just better able to accept this as my new normal for the time being.

[[Su...]]

I understand where you are coming from. I have a hard time being positive when a I feel so craipy. Today, my headache/head pressure is pretty intense with horrible muscle pain in my back. The fatigue is constant too. So please know I'm not healed, I'm just better able to accept this as my new normal for the time being.

 

Sorry you are feeling crappy also. I too like you had to accept it because the alternative was to be pissed and not heal or start changing my chemistry by doing everything I could do to be positive (that's science). When you feel really bad this is really really challenging and I cry from frustration but I get help from my husband massaging my head and neck and I put ice packs on my head (which helps a lot). Sorry to everyone who is going through this. At least we have each other and a place to vent! 

[[Ma...]]

I understand where you are coming from. I have a hard time being positive when a I feel so craipy. Today, my headache/head pressure is pretty intense with horrible muscle pain in my back. The fatigue is constant too. So please know I'm not healed, I'm just better able to accept this as my new normal for the time being.

 

Sorry you are feeling crappy also. I too like you had to accept it because the alternative was to be pissed and not heal or start changing my chemistry by doing everything I could do to be positive (that's science). When you feel really bad this is really really challenging and I cry from frustration but I get help from my husband massaging my head and neck and I put ice packs on my head (which helps a lot). Sorry to everyone who is going through this. At least we have each other and a place to vent! 

 

Yes we have each other.

[[Su...]]

thinking about you and praying you get a real break!!!

[[Vi...]]

Hi Masha, sorry you suffering. We do understand. It is so hard to believe you will heal and is going to get better when you are in pain. I understand you and asking you to try to push it trough because it will get better. More you fight against it more intense it will get.

I sit in my bath hrs and hrs just to feel some relief. For me is very hard to believe to I will heal but I have no other choice to push forward. I know and we know is not easy but it will pass.

Hugs and healing sending to you

[[ro...]]

Sometimes just the buildup of frustration from being tired with this bullshit can cause you to feel worse. Sometimes it is difficult to tell your real emotions from the withdrawal (i have come to notice) you will be better in no time and you will be smooth sailing 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you all but I can see on forum that for some people this is permenenet even thazt we do not want to believe in that and I will be there because of no improvement special in sleep that gets bit worst than bit better and than again.It will just not go away indomnia and I need to live with that.I think like I said the best is to go back on xanax.If I suffer I will at ist sleep.

[[ca...]]

It's easy to get discouraged or lose hope. I'm not sure if I understand why some have next to no symptoms after using Benzos for years and the someone is on a low dose for less than a month and take years to get completely over it. I hate to draw encouragement from others suffering. If we know that others have gone through this just as yourself and then healed completely it keeps us hopeful. I started feeling as though I had beat this at 24 months. I have sensitivity issues but it's almost gone.

[[Lo...]]

Thank you all but I can see on forum that for some people this is permenenet even thazt we do not want to believe in that and I will be there because of no improvement special in sleep that gets bit worst than bit better and than again.It will just not go away indomnia and I need to live with that.I think like I said the best is to go back on xanax.If I suffer I will at ist sleep.

 

What I've discovered for me personally that forcing myself to feel positive when I don't doesn't seem to work. IF you feel bad, then take care of yourself as best as you can, be gentle to yourself, and take it easy. Success stories can sometimes be difficult to read because there seems to be a lot of suffering in those stories, as well. It may be better to focus on yourself and your own situation and forget other peope's stories and experiences..... Take care 

[[Wi...]]

Masha

This isnt permanent and 2 months of benzo use is plenty enough time to screw up your gaba mechanism and it simply takes time to heal. There is no linear path to healing and some heal quicker then others. You are obviously a person who is having a more difficut time then the average benzo user yet you WILL heal. All the evidence points to zero permanent damage done to the brain even from long time high dose benzo use so you are actually lucky that you did only use 2 months. Imagine how ud feel had you used for decades as some people have. So no matter how much your mind trys to convince you that you have permanent damage it simply is not true and you need more time to heal-thats it. I do have one question if you dont mind: How were you before your 2 months of benzo use? Because when you are healed, that is the person you will return to. Try to be positive thru the pain. I know that is difficult but it is all that we can do. Good luck and hang tough!