Cannot meditate anymore. Am I alone in this?

[[ra...]]

Some 2 or 3 months ago I could easily meditate for 20 minutes or so. Now I am such a nervous wreck, I can barely stand still on a chair... Any others experienced a shift in their ability to meditate?

I don't know, since I updosed from 1 mg to 1,5 mg Ativan ( Dr. suggested this to me)I am WORST off.

Cannot understand why updosing makes things worst either...

 

Maybe it's because I take my 2 pills in the morning... 1 at 7, 1 at 9 am. I cannot bring myself to try 1 morning and one afternoon pill. My body is so used to it I am scared i'll go in massive mania in the morning if I try that...

[[Vi...]]

Yes, it is common not to be able to meditate any more. It is even not advised to begin to try to meditate while on benzos, or in withdrawal from benzos.

 

I have been meditating for years, and I find mediation to be enormously helpful now, as it is soothing and proven to be healing to the brain. But I only using guided meditation recordings now, to avoid ruminations that could lead to depression or panic. You can find many online, and find a fit for you. But when you are feeling agitated, distraction maybe a much better and safer alternative.

 

I sounds like you have not learned a lot yet on this website, if you think increasing your dose might be helpful. Please learn as much as you can as soon as you can, and begin to wean off very slowly, as per a tapering protacol that you can get, with help for an understanding MD, and this website. For good, intro basic info concise go to Wikipedia: Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome. 

[[lo...]]

Same, used to for 45 min max a day. Now, 5 minutes is hard. I disagree with above though, you should still try to do it if you can manage.

[[so...]]

Me too. Meditation used to be very important to me, but now I can't do it. It's like the brain changes from this shit drug has cut off our connection to spirit.

[[db...]]

Hi,

Although different than full on meditation, I have had success with self hypnosis, bio-feedback, visualization and distraction from the triggering thoughts as they can surely snowball.

 

Here is a link to a self help site concerning part of what I am talking about (I used self hypnosis to quit smoking, drinking and to calm insomnia). I am not suggesting anyone uses this to CT, but rather to calm, distract and visualize self from "outside self". It helps horrid "inner-talk" which can trigger panic. I hope this helps someone at least to get some needed sleep.

 

See: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety-treatments/self-hypnosis

 

Here is the link to c&p:http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety-treatments/self-hypnosis

[[An...]]

Well I had a similar experience. As  you can see from my signature, I went C/T because I had done it many many times before over the 25 years I took this stuff and had no w/d or problems until now. I was off of it for about 5 weeks but the w/d symptoms were unbearable so I reinstated to 2 pills a week and made an appointment to see a pdoc for supplies.

 

She convinced me the antidepressants I took depleted my CNS since I had such a bad allergic reaction and I needed to take Librium daily to calm my nerves. I tried it her way for a month and there was no improvement.

 

So in December, I cut to 3 times a week with the pills and started to feel better. Then I started reading more on this site and was told a daily taper would be better. I am sure that is true but for me, it didn't  help at all. I felt much worse so I cut to 2 pills a week and started to feel better again.

 

Now, I am liquid tapering on Mondays one of my pills and taking the other pill on Friday. Yeah, I know probably not a good way to do this but if I try taking a dose daily, I feel bad and my w/d's are much worse and I have no idea why. It could be because for the last 3 years I have been taking 3-4 a week so cutting to 2 a week feels better. I have no idea.

 

I also want to mention I am in tolerance w/d so dosing doesn't help me that much either way. But spreading it out over 2 days and taking bigger doses seem to help me more for some reason.

 

I just think we have to listen to what our bodies are telling us and go with what you feel comfortable doing. There is no "wrong" way in my opinion to get off these drugs- except for maybe C/T because that is NOT a good idea. I thought I was going to have a seizure, not fun. I wanted to kill myself so not advisable.

 

I think a daily liquid taper is most likely the best way for most people as it causes you to be more stable so maybe dosing several times a day helps with that too but our bodies all work differently so I say do what makes you feel good for a successful taper. As long as you are tapering, I think you are fine.

 

Oh and also I wanted to add that I have difficulty meditating now as well. The closer I get to benzo freedom, the more it seems I have a hard time with meditation. However, I try each morning to still do it and some days I actually succeed for a few minutes. I think repetition is good for the soul. I like having a schedule and I try each day to focus. One day I will be able to do it for more than a few minutes at a time. I also listen to a guided meditation with ocean waves that is very relaxing so even if my mind wanders I am still relaxing my body.

[[mi...]]

I was quite fond of Mindfulness meditation before withdrawal started setting in. It's frustrating not to be able to sit or lie still for long enough to do a meditation isn't it?. I can really empathise with you.

[[Al...]]

Same I used to be really into meditation but now when I close my eyes and see all my closed eye visuals I ruminate on how screwed up my brain and anything to try to relax triggers anxiety with reverse psychology.

[[Ma...]]

Yes it is way harder. But it helps despite sucking at it. It is better than not meditating at all. Guided meditation that focuses on noting can cause problems though because you can get stuck on something too easily. What I do now is just close my eyes and try to focus on nothing and use my breath as an occasional anchor because I can barely focus on that now. I can only do it for about 5-10 minutes before getting aggravated. I've been tapering gabapentin and baclofen though, along with the benzo. So I'm pretty much mentally annihilated right now.

[[Su...]]

I'm not able to do deep or zen meditation. Not even long session Mindfullness, but am able to use my beginning mindfullness training and focus on the sensation of cool air on the rims of my nostrils on inhale and warm on exhale. I can do this even standing, walking, at the supermarket... I find it very helpful as distraction and it helps with anxiety. At home I combine it with ambient nature sounds at a barely audible level to help me relax enough to slip into a light meditative state and at least escape into the eternal moment for a short while. It's not what I used to have, but it is what I have to work with now, so I use it. I don't have the experience of the others responding. I am basically just starting out, but I plan on using every tool at my disposal, even ones that don't work as well as they used to.

 

Safe journey!

 

[[An...]]

Yeah I also think even just 5 minutes of meditation can help me start the day a little more relaxed.  My guided one lasts for 20 minutes and I can't concentrate that long but any length of time I figure is better than nothing.