I'm really losing hope at almost 18 weeks off!

[[Ma...]]

I don't know what to do I'm losing hope and this is our misery beyond anything I could have ever imagined! I'm on day 11 of dropping the Zoloft to 87.5mg and my symptoms are still very severe and maybe worse!

 

The pressure and numbness in my head is still unrelenting and one thing I've noticed over the last few days is the intrusive thoughts have gotten worse and started to come back more than before with SU/HM ideation creeping back up and it's scaring me!

 

The pressure and physical pain in my head is so bad I can't hardly stand up or function! All I can do is lay in bed or set and rock back and forth and cry!

 

I'm 17 going on 18 weeks off Xanax now and I'm losing hope that I will ever get better and I don't know what to do?

[[be...]]

I don't know what to do I'm losing hope and this is our misery beyond anything I could have ever imagined! I'm on day 11 of dropping the Zoloft to 87.5mg and my symptoms are still very severe and maybe worse!

 

The pressure and numbness in my head is still unrelenting and one thing I've noticed over the last few days is the intrusive thoughts have gotten worse and started to come back more than before with SU/HM ideation creeping back up and it's scaring me!

 

The pressure and physical pain in my head is so bad I can't hardly stand up or function! All I can do is lay in bed or set and rock back and forth and cry!

 

I'm 17 going on 18 weeks off Xanax now and I'm losing hope that I will ever get better and I don't know what to do?

 

Your symptoms may have heightened with your Zoloft taper. I am sorry that you are struggling. It sounds just awful. I know you have dismissed the idea in the past, but you way want to consider a reinstatement, which you know I rarely suggest except when symptoms are severe and debilitating. Also, the ER can most likely alleviate your head pressure at least for the day. That is what brought me to the ER day after day...the horrific head pressure.  Is your doctor aware of all of this?

 

Also, below is a link to some phone numbers If you do feel like you would harm yourself, or someone else you need to call 911, or go to the hospital.  Suicide and Self-harm Resources

[[me...]]

Hi,

 

I was also on an ssri when I got off benzos, but I didn't start my extremely slow taper off citalopram until I was a year off xanax.  I'm glad I waited, and the taper off that was much slower than my rapid xanax taper.

 

Head pressure, which was accompanied by extreme cog fog and pain in and around my eyes, was my longest lasting symptom.  It did get better, but very slowly.  You haven't been off that long, really, not in terms of how long healing can take.  I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

[[Ma...]]

They are miserable and the suffering never ends and all I can do is set and cry! I really don't know what to do? The Xanax WD is taking its toll and constant agony and suffering that never ends especially the pressure and physical pain in my head is so bad I can't function or even stand up for long periods of time! Almost 18 weeks and these symptoms have not gotten any better of not worse and I'm losing hope!

 

As far as the Zoloft o just don't know what to do but I can't see ever going back on a benzo especially this far out with the chance of kindling and making it much worse I just can't do it! The Zoloft I'm really confused I don't think I should have ever been put on it but now I've been back on it almost 4 months and I was at 100mg for over 2 months but now I'm almost at 2 weeks dropping back down to 87.5mg and it does seems my symptoms have gotten worse mainly the intense intrusive thoughts almond with major fatigue and insomnia I'm really struggling!

 

I don't know if should just get back to 75mg and stay for awhile or go back up to 100mg and leave it almond for awhile so I'm confused but I'm so tired of suffering and these drugs have destroyed my life!

[[Ma...]]

I'm worried about kindling to with the AD now and I don't want to go back to benzos I think that would make it worse!

[[Fi...]]

I think you may be trying to do too much too soon, given that you effectively CTd from the benzo and you are not yet healed from that. Whose idea was it to begin tapering the AD during the most vulnerable period following CT of the benzo?

 

[[Ma...]]

Yeah my doctors haven't been much help but just symptoms and advice that the Zoloft might be making it worse lead me to that but now I don't know?

[[Fi...]]

Yeah my doctors haven't been much help but just symptoms and advice that the Zoloft might be making it worse lead me to that but now I don't know?

 

Well, just logically, it would seem that going off the AD at this point is certainly adding to the turbulence and maybe you ought to review that with them.

 

Personally, I tapered both the AD and the Benzo at the same time without referring to doctors at all, but by tuning in to my own sense of how I was doing. But then that was a taper, whereas you've CTd the benzo - and I think that matters.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I had no choice but to CT the symptoms got so severe I was taking to the hospital and was in detoxed and was in there for 2 weeks and that's when they put me on Zoloft saying my symptoms were underlying issues and not benzo WD but that's bull so o don't know what to do now?

[[Fi...]]

Yeah I had no choice but to CT the symptoms got so severe I was taking to the hospital and was in detoxed and was in there for 2 weeks and that's when they put me on Zoloft saying my symptoms were underlying issues and not benzo WD but that's bull so o don't know what to do now?

 

I agree.

 

 

It is hard to know what to do - nobody has a blueprint for this. But my first inclination would be, firstly, to take charge of my own decisions from here on out and secondly to hold everything for at least two weeks before making any further moves.

 

I do understand that that might be a tough road, given what you have said in your OP. But then, any road would be a tough one at this point, when you think about it. However, your best chance for stability, it seems to me, is to wait at this level and then assess it again once a little time has passed.

 

All the very best.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

So stay at the 87.5mg for a few more weeks?

[[Fi...]]

So stay at the 87.5mg for a few more weeks?

 

 

That's what I'd do, if I were in your shoes

[[Fi...]]

Just noticed this thread now. Support thread for SSRI people. Maybe you might unearth some useful information from it?

 

All the best.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I'm on surviving antidepressants sight too trying to get as much help as I can that's were I got the information on slowly coming down on the Zoloft but ty!

[[Fi...]]

Yeah I'm on surviving antidepressants sight too trying to get as much help as I can that's were I got the information on slowly coming down on the Zoloft but ty!

 

yw 

[[Tr...]]

I don't know what to do I'm losing hope and this is our misery beyond anything I could have ever imagined! I'm on day 11 of dropping the Zoloft to 87.5mg and my symptoms are still very severe and maybe worse!

 

The pressure and numbness in my head is still unrelenting and one thing I've noticed over the last few days is the intrusive thoughts have gotten worse and started to come back more than before with SU/HM ideation creeping back up and it's scaring me!

 

The pressure and physical pain in my head is so bad I can't hardly stand up or function! All I can do is lay in bed or set and rock back and forth and cry!

 

I'm 17 going on 18 weeks off Xanax now and I'm losing hope that I will ever get better and I don't know what to do?

 

I know exactly how you feel.  You aren't alone.

 

By the way I'm from Ann Arbor. 

[[Ma...]]

I just feel dead inside! The constant suffering and misery has taking its toll and I feel lifeless and like my life is over and I'll never be me or normal again!

 

Go blue!

[[Tr...]]

We NEVER give up!  You are significant, and worth the FIGHT!

 

Go Blue!

[[Fi...]]

I just feel dead inside! The constant suffering and misery has taking its toll and I feel lifeless and like my life is over and I'll never be me or normal again! [/u]

 

Go blue!

 

 

I understand all of that. But it's just not true.

 

You will be 'you' again and you will be perfectly normal again - all of it.

 

Your hardest job is done - getting off the benzo.

 

Every day you move away from it, you are healing in your most important areas. It might not feel like it, day-to-day, but it is happening. I know this because I have lived through every second of it too.

 

You have a very big choice over how you mostly spend your long healing time; you can play it fearfully, aggravate more and get in your own way, or you can play it strategically, accept everything totally (bad and all as it is) and let your body do the work it knows perfectly well how to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Da...]]

Fizzlewitch you always give good advice. What you said on my restless post was so true and it made me feel better.

 

Maizenblue- Fizzlewitch said it I know how hard it is, but acceptance is key to getting back in control. I cold turkeyed of a high dose of Xanax and opiates in November 2015 in a rehab. I had zero idea abt Xanax WD, I believed the opiates would be the hard part. I noticed that people on heroine started eating and I was so sick I could barely eat anything.

 

I owned a successful IT consulting firm and I was traveling around the world working on contracts. I believed I would take the holidays off and got back to work in January. Big surprise in January I went on one job and it was a disaster and I realized I was too sick to work. I never slept more than an hour or two a day. I had to close down my business because I could no longer do it. Then to add insult to injury my GF who lived with me for 12 years was totally unsupportive and we were fighting all day everyday. At the end of January she moved out.

 

I just wanted to tell you a little about my story and the total nightmare I had to face. Everything happened when I was as sick as you are. I had spinning I was falling down I was maybe sleeping an hour a day. I had to learn to accept where I was and trust me there was nothing easy about it. You feel like shit today you will probably feel that way tomorrow and the day after that. But eventually you will improve. Keep the faith and push through it. That is your only option.

[[Ma...]]

I'm trying so hard to hold on to hope but I'm scared and I really don't know what's gonna happen to me or whatto do? The benzo WD is honestly more than I can bare and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy! The constant pressure numbness and physical pain in my head is unbearable and taking its toll the emotional symptoms are pretty bad as well confusion, fatigue, DP/DR, intense intrusive thoughts it feels like my brain is forever damaged and I will never be the same or be happy or smile or laugh again!

 

I'm so confused about where I'm at with all this what's happening to me and what to do? I think most of my symptoms are still WD or acute recovery form Xanax which I don't understand after 18 weeks off but I know their is the underlying issue I face and the AD drugs now Zoloft that I'm dealing with too so I don't know?

 

I probably should have never been put back on anything else but now here I am I've been on Zoloft now over 3 months and at that point I probably should have just stayed at 100mg for awhile but not knowing what was causing what I dropped it to 87.5mg over the last two weeks and now I feel worse and the one symptom that has come back is the intrusive thoughts that's been the biggest change that I've noticed since dropping a little and now I don't know what to do? I don't know if I have enough meds to keep it their and I don't know if I should maybe get back with my doctor and go back up or stay or try and get down to 75mg after a few more weeks and just stay their it's all confusing and I just don't know what I should do and I feel like no matter what I do it's the wrong choice at this point!

 

All this on the heels of divorce last spring not being able to work or even go to the gym or do anything productive or have any quality of life at all! My family doesn't understand what I'm going through the doctors are not much help so I feel like I'm all on my own with no hope and no end in sight!

[[Fi...]]

I'm trying so hard to hold on to hope but I'm scared and I really don't know what's gonna happen to me or whatto do? ...etc...

 

Listen, M&B, you are where you are with this. There is no quick-fix - there is only the passage of time and eventual healing. It is how you handle the space from now to then that matters most. Healing will happen anyway, as long as you remain benzo-free, whatever you do or don't do.

 

Your entire post is encapsulated in those first four words there. IMHO, so is your level of angst, frustration and fear. There is an overwhelming correlation. This condition does not respond to logical expectation and as long as you keep looking for it, you are merely creating storms of frustration that will continue to keep you going round and round.

 

My advice, for what its worth, is to stop trying so hard. Stop fighting. Just stop. Call a halt. Let go. Accept. Stop struggling - with all of it - and seek out more calming, more interesting, absorbing ways of moving through it.

 

I'll leave that there.

 

All the very best 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Yeah but what to do with this Zoloft situation? I already suffered from OCD panic attacks and anxiety and I just don't know what to do? And the biggest symptoms that has increased since dropping a little is the intense intrusive thoughts and fatigue

[[Da...]]

It is what it is and it effects us all differently. Nobody can tell you if you are still in acute or when it will get better. It is unique to you. I don't know what to say about your AD, I stayed on my AD and I'm still taking it. I know if there was anything to make it better I would be doing it instead of posting on here. Acceptance is key and ride it out. Try to divert your mind and focus on other things. You will get better, it is just a matter of time.

[[Ma...]]

I don't know either but I don't think it's a good idea to try and completely taper the Zoloft right now and it may be helping but it's so hard to tell because the Xanax WD is so severe!

 

I don't know wether I should wait a few more weeks then drop to 75mg and just stay their for awhile or go back up a little to the 100mg and just stay their till some of this calms down I'm just scared and I don't know what to do and no matter what I feel like it's the wrong choice! I shouldn't have been put back on anything after Detox but now I think I'm stuck with it!

 

Either way I'm gonna make a appointment with my PCP and just work through her cause the psych doctor they sent me to after Detox is no help at all and really hard to get a appointment with as he is only their a couple times a month