On the Eve of 2 years Benzo free CT

[[We...]]

Wow. Two years. It's really hard to believe it's been that long. I was forced to CT by the very Dr that prescribed the poison for 6+ yrs. I had no idea when I started this what I would endure. I lost family, friends, self confidence and at times what felt like my sanity. Yet it's hard to believe that I had it easier than some. I could feed myself, dress myself and had the support of an amazing husband. Unfortunately my daughter and son had to witness my pain. At first I couldn't drink water without vomiting. Then I lost my taste & smell. I couldn't eat or sleep. I truly felt if I could quietly die it would be best for all. However, I had a grandson that was temporarily living at our home with his parents. I believe his presence gave me the fight I needed to "seem normal". Some days I couldn't get out of bed until I "needed" to. Honestly the first 8 mos - 1yr are kind of a blur. I was here...going through the motions because I had too. I don't think I have yet to share the shear horror of what I went through. I don't think anyone would really understand. I myself am not sure of the extent of damage both physically and mentally. It's hard to share with others that my "addiction " isn't the norm. It's not something that heals in time. It's constantly changing. Good days now out number the bad. Sleep is finally not something I dread. I still have nights where I get only 2-3 hrs....but I have more nights that are 5-6!! I still dread public outings, riding in vehicles, I loose my car in parking lots, I forget way more than I used too...but I am stronger. The ONLY dr that ever validated my "journey " was a dentist I saw a few yrs ago. When I told him about my "allergy " to Benzodiazepines  and how I cam to quitting CT.,.he said "OMG...you must be one strong woman. I have NEVER met anyone who quit CT and was able to talk about it"! I have learned so much about myself the past 2 years. I'm stronger than I think and my husband loves me per our vows! ❤ Sending love and light to all of you on this journey! ❤❤❤

 

[[be...]]

i did a CT withdrawal as well, so I understand your journey. Congrats on the two years! 

[[jo...]]

Wow!!

 

Much deserved!

 

 

[[Ch...]]

I am so very happy for your successful journey...I hope you gave that Dentist a hug....even if just in your mind, because I just did, LOL!!!