Need some one to talk to please not good!

[[Pi...]]

Can some body please tell me what's going on or just be here for me please...

Am in the middle of changing from diazpam  tablets to the oral solution,have crashed....I feel like I want to rip my skin off,nothing is calming me down.am having panic attacks,every noise is going thru me like nails on a board.i can't even watch t.v,depression as set in,my muscles are so tight I think they could snap...I CT last year An it feels worse than that...am on the brink of losing my shit,I can't sleep eat or do nothing...am having flash backs of when I was little...this is hammering me an am so scared!am unstable beyond words...can some one just talk to me I have no family either An my friends are non existent now!some of you who know me no I have a son he as no one but me,but slowly am becoming nonfunctional an I don't want to know the out come for this....please tell me am going to be ok!lack of sleep is making me feel out of my mind...I don't know what's going on,have also got flu symptoms,runs An just feel so poorly

[[tw...]]

You sound like you are in acute withdrawal. I've been through every bit of what you are experiencing. Your body is probably adjusting to the crossover in dose. I'd keep trying to take that dose for a few more days if you can hang on and see if you stabilize. Again, everything you are experiencing can be attributed to withdrawal. I hope you stabilize soon!

[[tw...]]

PS - when this happened to me (and it has a few times), i usually stabilized in 3-5 days. (and by that, I mean came out of the severe horrible depression, and other VERY unbearable symptoms you describe.) I actually paced back and forth for hours, I couldn't watch TV or listen to the radio, ZERO sleep, I thought for sure i was dying. And memories from long ago started flooding back and I became hyper focused on a few regarding certain people and just got this CRUSHING depression. I would pace the house, back and forth. I felt like I had dementia and was damn near helpless. Memory loss, PROFOUND confusion.

 

It should pass once you stabilize, or at least get back to semi-manageable levels. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have too, and it's terrifying. Again, I got back to some semblance of "okay" in 3-5 days. Also - when I got into this stage, I could NOT eat. Please make sure you eat if you can. I had to force down Ensure every few hours.

[[Pi...]]

Hi twinkle...it feels like acute but am still on the medication.have been doing gradual.am going to try An leave the house tomorrow to go the pharmacy to see if am using the syringe correctly...am in hell was ok dosing the afternoon dose with liquid.but now am taking half liquid An half a tablet on a morning an all hell as broke lose...thank you for replying to me

 

[[Pi...]]

Yea that's what this feels like...it's constant An terrifying am

So sorry you had to endure it too....my whole body feels numb.am 8 days into one of the cross overs but it's non stop....I have everything you described!its not settling down from the chance....i could of wrote whstvyou said about all that.i feel crushed...thanks for been here

[[be...]]

Message me if you want to chat.

[[Pi...]]

Thank you so much 💕😇

[[...]]

Pinkfairy: im so sorry that you have to suffer this bad.

You are not alone.

I'm reading all posts here but manage only to answer a few.

Having problems speaking my own language right now, so English is a bit like Chinese for me 

Sending you a hug 💕

[[Pi...]]

Thank you me2....glad am not alone,but sorry your suffering too...your English is better than mine!

Received sending you An hug too 💕

[[la...]]

hi pinkfairy, so sorry you're going through this right now. this sounds pretty similar to my acute withdrawals. it can be really scary but just remember that you are not alone, other people have experienced these awful things you are feeling and you are so strong to be facing your demons. it is the worst feeling in the world but it is so important to remember that it is not forever, it is temporary and you will get through it. as hard as it might be, try to be patient and kind to your body and brain during this process. maybe try do some reading about GABA in the brain and how benzos alter it's natural regulation. your brain is working really hard right now as it is the process of healing itself, and it is very resilient. while it may seem like there is nothing to do to make your symptoms go away, you do have the power to extend kindness and sympathy to yourself the way you would to a friend, which in turn will make you more comfortable. you WILL get through this.

 

i lived in a state of sheer terror and panic for over a month. this may seem a little cheesy but trying yoga helped me SO MUCH. it took a few tries of practice to even feel okay on the mat, but i persisted and now i do yoga every day! i found a really wonderful youtube instructor called yoga with adriene. check it out if you want! this video is yoga for healing

 

on a lighter note~ did you get your username from the pink fairy armadillo? if not i highly suggest doing a google search to check out that funny creature. stay strong xx 

[[db...]]

Hi Pink,

I know this is withdrawal. One of worst things about WD is that one "forgets/can't" eat properly (sorry if you are nauseous), get some exercise by walking or stretching, often I get dehydrated which can really cause more than thirst and lots of other stuff.

 

Can you fight through the "bad thoughts" by prayer/meditation (long deep breaths in and slowly out can temporarily get more oxygen to the brain and can be calming), epsom salt baths can relax cramping muscles. Sometimes a little benadryl (anti-histamine) can be sedating. Sometimes, I have to just shut the door, get into bed and pray for thoughts to calm down. When stopping all triggers you mentioned like noise, light, not thinking of old bad memories/trauma and just lying still (if possible) while praying/meditating on good things helps. If Spiritual focus on a short positive Scripture and just repeat it helps.

 

I know it likely sounds impossible, but if you can just force through the bad thoughts and focus on basics such as eating a little, drinking water a lot and moving around can shake some of these horrid "misfires" in brain for awhile.

 

I haven't read your situation fully but wonder if you might be tapering too fast and need to either just hold with no cuts planned until you feel better. Or, if you recently cut, you MIGHT consider updosing to last dose you felt bearable on or trying to switch over to a longer acting benzo like valium, librium/tranxene or other longer acting benzo. Maybe you could try dosing more times per day (same total amount) if you think you are having interdose WDs.

 

Whatever you do please know that this is not permanent and will ease with time. I know a hot bath/shower can help as do eating/drinking non-spicy things.

 

I sure hope you start calming down as just the lack of sleep is horrible on thoughts. I have used passionflower extract, melatonin and benadryl to help me with insomnia, but it is best not to use them all the time.

 

Perhaps, accessing the Faith based group and seeking advice there and/or asking to be put on a prayer chain of others that totally understand your distress would help you find like-minded friends and strengthen your belief system (you only have to believe that this benzo madness can be ended eventually or your religious belief comes in very important at these times). I like to focus on the empty cross and He who gave himself for "broken" people really helps in my case.

 

I have also used "self hypnosis" where you "tighten up all your muscles, hold a few seconds and repeat many times. This gives some focus and the muscle stretching/release cause lactic acid to relax muscles. Once that happens, you "visualise" your self laying on a warm beach (or other memorable cozy situation), then you think about the fresh ocean breeze/smell, you start at the feet and concentratye on feeling the comforting Sun warming specific areas of your body working slowly through and up to your entire body (like start with feet, go to each leg individually, your arms/hand, your torso, your face and finally your entire being being bathed in warm, comforting, relaxing sunshine and slight breeze. This can really help if you can focus one thing at a time. Visualize each thing and often it distracts from the intrusive thoughts as well as the tightening/releasing repeated does release lactic acid as if you had been exercising. I was taught this in a sleep disorder clinic and as much as it sounds crazy, it works. If you can google self hypnosis relaxation techniques for insomnia it should explain many methods of this "thought distraction" and muscle relaxing exercise.

 

I hope you are getting lots of replies and just knowing others care and are experiencing similar flares can help. You are not losing your mind. You are experiencing the bad side of benzos. Just think how good it will feel to finally get off them in time.

 

Blessings upon you and prayers for your improvement.

 

DB

[[db...]]

Here is a link from National Institutes of Health on self hypnosis (or hypnosis) for relaxation/insomnia/panic. I hope this explains better than my attempt.

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071579/