!! The UNDER 30 CLUB !!

[[lo...]]

Hey everyone, I figured I'd start a group with us youngsters, as it seems there is a sizeable minority of us, and I've been getting a bunch of messages recently from younger people.

 

Here's my story... I originally got on Clonazepam/Klonopin to help with social anxiety when I was 22, I'm 24 now, and while it helped me kind of break through that, I didn't realize the vice grip it was grabbing me with until I tried to get off. And over two years of being on it I didn't realize I lost a lot of energy, motivation, and drive for life. I've made amazing breakthroughs with my anxiety and don't want to be on medication anymore.

 

Trying to get off of it I have had some pretty intense symptoms, ranging from minor and annoying, to hallucinating, inability to sleep more than 2 hours total, or more than 30 minutes at once, nonstop thinking about suicide and wishing I was dead. So I decided I don't want to be on something so powerful because that kind of sucked, especially when I have other solutions for my problems. I've changed my entire lifestyle, and am a completely different person since when I started on the clonazepam.

 

Now that I've reinstated and started a sensible taper plan, I feel myself returning to the point I was at last summer where I felt on top of the world in terms of withdrawal, and the added bonus of my lifestyle changes this time around.

 

I still deal with a lot of stress, and it's load on my mind / emotions is immense during withdrawal. I've had to move back home in-between apartment leases, and my family life is really fucked up and stressful, but I'm doing well now. As of this post I'm down to 90% of my original dose in 5 weeks, smooth-ish sailing so far. Moods are at least 5-6/10 average daily, whereas from october through december they were 0-1/10's (I journaled most days).

 

Withdrawal completely fucks with my attention span, but I managed to finish my university degree with pretty good grades, and now, while still in withdrawal, need to continue studying for my MCAT and hopefully pursue medical school. Should be fun times while in w/d. lol.

 

I'm pretty well versed in the biology / mechanisms of benzodiazepines and it's withdrawal, as well as tapering and symptom management, as I've discovered a lot of useful things around the internet and through my studies. So... Ask away if you need any help with that.

Welcome, young people

[[Tw...]]

I'm 29 so I'm riding that fine line haha. I was put on 3mgs of Klonopin in college at 19 after some panic attacks and left on for 9 years or so. Had to move back in with family and put life on hold for my taper as well. I know exactly what your saying when you notice you've completely changed since tapering. Even though I feel like dog shit often, I'm such a better person and understand what really matters to me in life now and how crazy I was living before I decided to taper for very similar reasons as yourself. Thank god were young and time is on our side. You in the states?

[[lo...]]

While I'm glad I'm figuring this out when I'm young, I'm also pretty pissed off I'm so abnormal in what are supposed to be the most fun (and productive) years of my life. I don't want to speed up the tapering because I want to remain functional, continue dating, studying, working on my career, hold a job, etc.

 

And no I'm up in Canada, near Toronto!

[[Tw...]]

Trust me brother, I know exactly what your talking about as far as trying to maintain a life during all of this. I just had to check out for a while but I'm finding myself able to do more and not letting this consume all of who I am. I dated until I just couldn't anymore and I'm almost there again. Are you managing school and work through your taper? I had a winter hiatus from work but soon Ill be back.

[[lo...]]

I finished school just as all of this hit the fan, but I'm studying now for my MCAT and will be working a lot again soon. Some days are very difficult but I think overall I'm handling this well. I'm just starting to think, based on how long this is going to take, that this is what my life will be like forever. I know that's probably wrong and it's just withdrawal, but it sucks.

[[no...]]

25 yr male here - been on benzos for 7 years and didn't know the grip it had on my life either. It's rediculous how we are brainwashed into believing in medicine and the doctors are SO willing to write anything to make you "happy" & not necessarily "healthy." I think that as we move forward, we are the Rx generation and we need to spread awareness to all parties involved that BENZOS are not the answer.

 

Can't wait to "see the other side" as everyone puts it and wake up from this bad dream. I encourage all you to journal your thoughts and symptoms every day, and at the end of this long journey we will all have a beautiful story to share with the world- in hopes that this brings up awareness in our local medical communities.

 

God bless from NoMoreKPIN.

[[So...]]

I finished school just as all of this hit the fan, but I'm studying now for my MCAT and will be working a lot again soon. Some days are very difficult but I think overall I'm handling this well. I'm just starting to think, based on how long this is going to take, that this is what my life will be like forever. I know that's probably wrong and it's just withdrawal, but it sucks.

 

Trust me I totally understand what you are saying, it feels like this will last forever but the few great windows I think they are called have been so wonderful. I ideally have set my 25th birthday for the day to jump which I know sounds a bit silly but it's more like a mental thing that I want to start my quarter century bday being drug free. I have until July 13th but obviously I can always prolong it. I feel like working from home might be hurting me a bit right now just because it allows me more time to worry about my symptoms and fixate on how I feel all day while being alone.

 

It's hard feeling like I have waisted a lot of my youth on this drug but everybody on here keeps reiterating how young we are and how much we still have to look forward to and all of that so it does give me hope. Let's hope youth is on our side in helping to heal our brains. We will all get through this. Some days are great others just suck, I am in a week and half wave right now if that's what you call it? Crappy symptoms and just feeling scared and alone.

[[Tw...]]

It is totally unfortunate that we have to be the failed trial for long term benzo maintenance but yes...being young is totally in our favor. I can't imagine having a family and trying to do this. I commend them all. I've found writing a daily log/journal is helping me notice what works and when things change good or bad. Really useful! I can't wait for the day that I wake up again not having to pull open my nightstand and take pills and draw up a solution of liquid Valium. It's insane what we've had to go through and do to come off these pills but so worth it! Hope you all have a killer day! It's warm on the east coast and I'm gonna get my butt in the wetsuit and paddle out for a morning surf. Cheers friends 🍻

[[So...]]

25 yr male here - been on benzos for 7 years and didn't know the grip it had on my life either. It's rediculous how we are brainwashed into believing in medicine and the doctors are SO willing to write anything to make you "happy" & not necessarily "healthy." I think that as we move forward, we are the Rx generation and we need to spread awareness to all parties involved that BENZOS are not the answer.

 

Can't wait to "see the other side" as everyone puts it and wake up from this bad dream. I encourage all you to journal your thoughts and symptoms every day, and at the end of this long journey we will all have a beautiful story to share with the world- in hopes that this brings up awareness in our local medical communities.

 

God bless from NoMoreKPIN.

 

Just wondering how long can it take to stabilize after cutting, I have been at 1 mg now for about 3 weeks and I have felt terrible the last two weeks, I went from 1.125 to 1 mg within a month which my doctor assured me it was not fast at all but I just don't know if it was too fast, I am so scared I can barely function, I am so tired the past few days as well, the klonopin is making me feel really sedated

 

 

[[no...]]

25 yr male here - been on benzos for 7 years and didn't know the grip it had on my life either. It's rediculous how we are brainwashed into believing in medicine and the doctors are SO willing to write anything to make you "happy" & not necessarily "healthy." I think that as we move forward, we are the Rx generation and we need to spread awareness to all parties involved that BENZOS are not the answer.

 

Can't wait to "see the other side" as everyone puts it and wake up from this bad dream. I encourage all you to journal your thoughts and symptoms every day, and at the end of this long journey we will all have a beautiful story to share with the world- in hopes that this brings up awareness in our local medical communities.

 

God bless from NoMoreKPIN.

 

Just wondering how long can it take to stabilize after cutting, I have been at 1 mg now for about 3 weeks and I have felt terrible the last two weeks, I went from 1.125 to 1 mg within a month which my doctor assured me it was not fast at all but I just don't know if it was too fast, I am so scared I can barely function, I am so tired the past few days as well, the klonopin is making me feel really sedated

 

I think it can take upwards to a month to stabilize. Atleast from my short amount of experience and reading material. Take your time and you will find baseline again. Sometimes I have to remind myself "give yourself a week before judging if something is working or isnt working" as it just takes time for our body to adjust.

[[So...]]

25 yr male here - been on benzos for 7 years and didn't know the grip it had on my life either. It's rediculous how we are brainwashed into believing in medicine and the doctors are SO willing to write anything to make you "happy" & not necessarily "healthy." I think that as we move forward, we are the Rx generation and we need to spread awareness to all parties involved that BENZOS are not the answer.

 

Can't wait to "see the other side" as everyone puts it and wake up from this bad dream. I encourage all you to journal your thoughts and symptoms every day, and at the end of this long journey we will all have a beautiful story to share with the world- in hopes that this brings up awareness in our local medical communities.

 

God bless from NoMoreKPIN.

 

Just wondering how long can it take to stabilize after cutting, I have been at 1 mg now for about 3 weeks and I have felt terrible the last two weeks, I went from 1.125 to 1 mg within a month which my doctor assured me it was not fast at all but I just don't know if it was too fast, I am so scared I can barely function, I am so tired the past few days as well, the klonopin is making me feel really sedated

 

I think it can take upwards to a month to stabilize. Atleast from my short amount of experience and reading material. Take your time and you will find baseline again. Sometimes I have to remind myself "give yourself a week before judging if something is working or isnt working" as it just takes time for our body to adjust.

 

Thank you so much for your support I really appreciate it it's so frustrating to think the psychiatrist and stuff out of prescribed all of this I don't even really know how horrible it is for some people to try to get off of it my doctor is in complete denial that any of the symptoms of withdrawal I'm having to be attributed to the Clonopin she thinks it's just my old anxiety coming back however it's funny my old anxiety never included depression Agoraphobia shaking and sweating and all these other horrible symptoms that thinks of this forum I now know our Klonopin related.

 

However I did see that you did complete a Valium crossover and that is something that I'm highly considering doing myself would you recommend it and do you feel like it worked for you?

[[lo...]]

Totally forgot to check this place. Good to hear you're feeling a bit better songbird, you've been having a rough few weeks it seems

[[Tw...]]

I only hope for the best but I am now officially going back to college to finish my degree starting in August. Let's hope the ol' foggy brain is feeling clearer then but regardless, if I never start again I won't finish. Taper or not I'm excited!

[[lo...]]

Nah congrats that's awesome! I cut 2 days ago so tonight is fucked up, that's usually how my Tuesdays go. I reeeeeeally don't want to do this every week for the next 1.5 years but .... I guess I don't have a choice.

 

I hate complaining but when you're in the middle of w/d, I'm sure you get where I'm coming from lol. And it was only a 2% cut. F*ck me I know.

 

The way it's set up right now, I'm taking around .005 of a pill's weight off on each cut. Instead of doing this over 1-2 days maybe I'll switch to a daily microtaper and see what happens

[[Tw...]]

Yeah, I'm not back in yet and don't know exactly how I'll feel in August when I'll start but I've started the process. At least I'm trying, like you, to keep some life through this mess. I've had a so so past few days but I start working tomorrow again too. Hope I can just not have a massive panic attack and Ill be happy. Sad but absolute truth. I just know it keeps sucking and I'm like well I guess I just have to run with the shitty hand dealt. What's the worst that can happen... Keep your head up bro. I change daily how I feel. Better than bonkers all day though!

[[So...]]

I only hope for the best but I am now officially going back to college to finish my degree starting in August. Let's hope the ol' foggy brain is feeling clearer then but regardless, if I never start again I won't finish. Taper or not I'm excited!

 

That is such amazing news! You will do great and by august I feel like your brain will be almost full healed honestly the brain is a miraculous thing!

 

Maybe it's because I am the only girl in this forum but does anybody feel like as you taper these meds you feel more emotional? I was a really empathetic person before starting these meds and used to cry an annoying amount, like I swear if somebody else was in pain emotionally I could tell and I would emotionally feel for them with klonopin I started to notice I wasn't really feeling things as deeply as before(that's what she said?) but no for real, like the notebook and titanic didn't even make she shed a tear and my grandfather is like sobbing in the corner and now I just feel sooooo much.

 

Ok rant over, hope everybody is having a nice tuesday, I feel like withdrawal is like being makes you lose concepts of time and forget what day it is honestly sometimes so just have to remind myself it's still February 

[[Tw...]]

I only hope for the best but I am now officially going back to college to finish my degree starting in August. Let's hope the ol' foggy brain is feeling clearer then but regardless, if I never start again I won't finish. Taper or not I'm excited!

 

That is such amazing news! You will do great and by august I feel like your brain will be almost full healed honestly the brain is a miraculous thing!

 

Maybe it's because I am the only girl in this forum but does anybody feel like as you taper these meds you feel more emotional? I was a really empathetic person before starting these meds and used to cry an annoying amount, like I swear if somebody else was in pain emotionally I could tell and I would emotionally feel for them with klonopin I started to notice I wasn't really feeling things as deeply as before(that's what she said?) but no for real, like the notebook and titanic didn't even make she shed a tear and my grandfather is like sobbing in the corner and now I just feel sooooo much.

 

Ok rant over, hope everybody is having a nice tuesday, I feel like withdrawal is like being makes you lose concepts of time and forget what day it is honestly sometimes so just have to remind myself it's still February

 

Yes to everything you just said. I've come to find as I drop lower on the meds I have actual emotions coming back but sometimes it's just out of the blue and I'm tearing up. I've realized that people say you feel numb on the drugs and they were right. Sometimes I am in a stupor from feeling so numb and others, it's like emotions level 12. I also have to check the month and day all the time. Totally get it!

[[lo...]]

Thats amazing to hear! I bounced back hard from that withdrawal episode on monday, I'm feeling better than ever today. Hopefully some of it is passed on to you guys.

[[Tw...]]

Thats amazing to hear! I bounced back hard from that withdrawal episode on monday, I'm feeling better than ever today. Hopefully some of it is passed on to you guys.

 

Right on man! Been having a pretty solid past few days myself. Passing on all sorts of positive juju.

[[lo...]]

Thats amazing to hear! I bounced back hard from that withdrawal episode on monday, I'm feeling better than ever today. Hopefully some of it is passed on to you guys.

 

Right on man! Been having a pretty solid past few days myself. Passing on all sorts of positive juju.

 

Haha it's crazy how much I bounce. I'm still holding this week's dose, and last night / this morning I was paranoid as shit, it was really disturbing. Now I'm sort of okay. Again this is just from holding the cut since sunday. It's pretty annoying

[[So...]]

I totally get it, I had a few good days and yesterday for the first time this whole taper I heard stuff in my house and got really freaked out. I quit this intensive outpatient therapy thing I had been doing because they kept insistinf I switch over to Valium which I didn't want to do, found out that I also have the MTHFR genetic mutation compound heterozygous which means that by body and neurotransmitters only function at about 50 percent compared to the average person which is why this withdrawal is so tough most likely and why I had anxiety in the first place.

 

I highly recommend getting tested as there are things you can do to help mitigate these issues. Today I have severe depersonalization and head pressure and am just scared. I am pretty much agoraphobic right now and I just want this to end and to stabilize you know. Days feels so long sometimes just fighting to get through to one day closer to being healed, sorry for being a downer I just am legitimately scared right now

[[Tw...]]

I totally get it, I had a few good days and yesterday for the first time this whole taper I heard stuff in my house and got really freaked out. I quit this intensive outpatient therapy thing I had been doing because they kept insistinf I switch over to Valium which I didn't want to do, found out that I also have the MTHFR genetic mutation compound heterozygous which means that by body and neurotransmitters only function at about 50 percent compared to the average person which is why this withdrawal is so tough most likely and why I had anxiety in the first place.

 

I highly recommend getting tested as there are things you can do to help mitigate these issues. Today I have severe depersonalization and head pressure and am just scared. I am pretty much agoraphobic right now and I just want this to end and to stabilize you know. Days feels so long sometimes just fighting to get through to one day closer to being healed, sorry for being a downer I just am legitimately scared right now

 

How do you get this gene mutation test done? Ive heard others talking about it but never paid it much attention. I know where your at right now. I went through hell and back to figure out what tapering speed and type works for me. Everyday is a struggle but my baseline is functional and if I can have that all the way down Ill take it. Not saying you should switch to valium but if you find yourself at a low bottom on the K, let that be your next move. It helped me keep on keeping on. I would maybe chill tapering for a while though and just try and play catch up. Don't let this defeat you. Keep your head up, I know I'm trying to everyday good or bad.

[[lo...]]

Wow sorry to hear about that mutation, from the minimal research I've done that can kind of suck for benzo withdrawal.

 

As you can see with my sig I'm trucking on... but I too don't see an end in sight. I'm still going to be tapering well into 2018, and I still have all of 2017 to go. Kind of disheartening, but whatever I guess. I plan to heal along the way and be pretty much set when I jump. We'll see what happens I guess.

[[Tw...]]

Wow sorry to hear about that mutation, from the minimal research I've done that can kind of suck for benzo withdrawal.

 

As you can see with my sig I'm trucking on... but I too don't see an end in sight. I'm still going to be tapering well into 2018, and I still have all of 2017 to go. Kind of disheartening, but whatever I guess. I plan to heal along the way and be pretty much set when I jump. We'll see what happens I guess.

 

Have you ever considered trying valium? I had a tough time micro tapering K. I went from dosing three times daily to twice with no real interdose withdrawal and tapering became easier on me all around. Just curious is all. I forced myself to stop trying to figure out when id be done tapering. I get to thinking how long it seems it most likely will be and its depressing. So I just stopped. I tell myself everyday now that at least your a little lower than yesterday.

[[lo...]]

Wow sorry to hear about that mutation, from the minimal research I've done that can kind of suck for benzo withdrawal.

 

As you can see with my sig I'm trucking on... but I too don't see an end in sight. I'm still going to be tapering well into 2018, and I still have all of 2017 to go. Kind of disheartening, but whatever I guess. I plan to heal along the way and be pretty much set when I jump. We'll see what happens I guess.

 

Have you ever considered trying valium? I had a tough time micro tapering K. I went from dosing three times daily to twice with no real interdose withdrawal and tapering became easier on me all around. Just curious is all. I forced myself to stop trying to figure out when id be done tapering. I get to thinking how long it seems it most likely will be and its depressing. So I just stopped. I tell myself everyday now that at least your a little lower than yesterday.

 

I have, but I don't want to rock the boat again. I've just finally recovered / stabilized somewhat, and the reductions aren't that bad. My most annoying symptoms are DP/DR and EXTREME FATIGUE like no fucking other. I think valium would make that worse. I'm sure I'll start to feel better on the way down... hopefully.