Roller Coaster: help please

[[Da...]]

At this point, I'm unsure whether I'm asking for help or reassurance.

 

Long story short: became dependent on Ativan .5mg after two month use (May-July) last year.  Self tapered to .345 (cut 1/4 pill).  Hell on wheels, worsening debilitation, rampant insomnia  Updosed to .5 mg and began liquid taper in November.  Improvement of sorts, but still on medical leave, have moved in with sister out of state, probably having to retire at end of leave in May.  Tapered via liquid 4x a day to daily total of .430 mg.

 

Here's the deal.  I have some days where I feel "normal," others where I am depressed, dependent on my sister, and unable to do much of anything.  Still having insomnia--wake up precisely at 5:30 a.m. (if I' lucky, that is) when the meds wear out (1.5 valium, 200 mg gabapentin, and 4th daily dose of liquid Ativan.)  Other days I have hypersomnia--excessive napping during the day.

 

I'm having a bad day today.  Question: does this last throughout the taper, does it get better?  What can I do to help myself.

 

Been dealing with Social Security, Medicare and a host of other things.  Bureaucratic nightmare.  And even though some of that is now behind me, I'm still dealing with anxiety, ill effects of the taper, inability to get off the couch sometimes.  I have windows when I remember who I used to be but no longer am.

[[be...]]

I think it's plain ole w/d. Ativan can be a beast to come off, even after short term use. I guess you are waking up during the Cortisol rush hour. When that happens to me I eat a bowl of cereal and manage to go back to bed and sleep another 3 hours. Hope that helps. You might want to give it a try....

[[Be...]]

Hey Danielle,

 

What you are describing sounds pretty normal as withdrawal goes. My taper was a variable range of symptoms like yours. The symptoms did, and do tend to change, over time. I guess I'll say, appreciate the days you feel 'normal'. Everything changes from moment to moment even if we don't notice. Mindfulness Meditation can help. It's worth doing as it trains the mind to be in the present, and it calms the nervous system. It's a good skill, a good habit, for life in general. Distraction is hugely helpful, even if you are not enthusiastic. Do make it a point to get off the couch and move. This will help to avoid muscle wasting, which after so much time tapering, you do not want. Hang in there.

 

Bennie

[[be...]]

((HEY BENNIE!))))

[[Be...]]

((HEY BENNIE!))))

 

Heya!!