17 and counting

[[sl...]]

Wow!  What a night!  Actually had my head hit the pillow at 10:30 and up at 6:00 without any issues!  I'll take it 😎  Is this normal?  To pop in and out of reality like this?  Day 14 brought some pretty rough emotions to my door. Feelings that something bad was going to happen. Yes, I know better but still....  whoa!  What floors me is the absolute disparity in days. 3 days ago my cognitive dissonance was removed from me. Yesterday I would have punched a kitty if it looked at me wrong, and already today I'm praying for world peace. Ok, not really but I think you get it.  I have become a poster child for mood swings. I'm reading a lot. Found this page. Writing helps a lot. Being able to just say random things to complete strangers is actually calming. And for my most controversial move I'm using marijuana to sleep. It's completely legal here so no fowl. Anything to help sleep may be a bad move but not sure. I've heard conflicting information about it. And it's helped.  but here we go. Even as I write this at 6:45 AM my time the brain is pacing a snack bag and hitting the road. It's kinda had a mind of its own?  Drifting. Floating. Refusing to ground. And if yesterday repeats itself I will float thru it. But hopefully in a better mood 🤙    So am I the exception?  I have had some spurts of anxiety and certainly my brain needs to heal, yet I am doing a pretty solid job at this. No sweats, chills, even when my brain floats off I recognize that's what it is, scare myself with manic thoughts for 5 then bam. I'm good again. Till next time. But they have seemed to mellow. They're not gone. Just better.  Guess what I'm rambling about is a smothering of many emotions packed into one long haiku. Yep, I'm all over the place. And writing does help. Hopefully you're amused at this point. So here goes the cold water. Anyone else using thc to sleep?  I'm not alone, that much I know. But the conflict of good vs evil is huge!  I hear no!  It blocks GABA and I hear go for it!  Sleep is the single most important thing right now. So it blocks GABA but also doesn't interfere with it. It's not a benzodiazepine that will just drop its own receptors and take over until you quit and let yourself be rewired. So...  first time posting about this. I've heard from Dr. google the help/hurt stories. I'd love to hear from actual people who have been here.