4 months off benzo's !

[[jo...]]

Hi Everyone!

 

My nightmare started 5 years ago, when suddenly happened all bad things I can imagine at once. Profesional failure, broke with my girlfriend, my mom tried suicide 3 times, my brother (who suffers autism) was in a very agitated crisis. My brain was not able to manage all of this and I stopped sleeping. It was horrible to be a 26 year old guy, who enjoyed life and friends, suddenly was feeling that the whole world was falling around me.

 

Of course, doctor put me on benzo's. Great I said! finally I can get some sleep while I try to survive my situation.

But time was passing and the anxiety was growing, with such a weak emotional state I was not able to handle my situation. I became a lonely person, and friends didn't understand, and finally they didn't care about it...

 

One day, after 1 week without sleeping, my brain entered in a weird state, and I said to myself: You have two choices, or try to fight and win, or just give up.

 

 

So I started searching and visiting tons of doctors since I found one that accepted to go with the ashton protocol route.

I moved to a tiny town in the catalan coast (north east Spain). And I started withdrawing all the benzo's with a timing in mind: one year and a half.

 

I have been homesick since then, but I have windows from time to time. The sad think it's the fact that I have no  friends anymore...(maybe they are not true friends....).

 

In the early stages of benzo free i suffered from:

 

-mild anxiety

-muscular pain

-insomnia

-reflux

-weird tingling feeling in the legs

-burning feeling in the feet

 

Now I'm suffering:

 

-Morning anxiety

-Sporadic insomnia

-Very low self esteem

-Depression

 

It's weird how the symptoms switched for me, mainly from physical at the beggining to emotional now.

 

I have the very strong need to start a new life. To move to a big city, force myself to gain social skills again. Finish my studies...

 

I have a feeling that all my circle of friends and family think that I'm a very weak person....

 

 

I withdrawed the Lyrica to 0 mg. as well (from 600 mg).

 

IN SHORT:

 

-As much as I suffered, I'm able to sleep most of the days of the week without medication.

 

-My symptoms changed from physical to emotional.

 

-I have the need to start a new life, start fresh. And feel less guilty.

 

-I care too much about what the people think about me.

 

- I have the feeling that I will never be normal again, but when I have a window, I feel everything it's possible.

 

 

 

So, not feeling that bad...But I want to feel like a young person again and enjoy life....Let's hope so!!

 

 

Lots of love and I'll keep you updated about the improvements.

 

:smitten: :smitten:

 

Joan

 

 

Edit: disallowed content

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

Wow....reading my post again, I can see how screwed my brain is now.

 

Sorry for the bad structure of the text and my english (it's not my first language)

[[be...]]

just like your other symptoms the ones you have now will be gone some day as well. congrats on the four months. those are four months you never have to do over again.

[[sq...]]

Right there with you Joanet.  Almost 4 months out here and can relate to 90% of what you posted. Congratulations on forging onward and through - this is such a difficult process, especially when you hit the many emotional aspects of things. To add to the psychological sx I am also looping with the thoughts as to what my different medications are doing to me and wanting to get off of them sooner than later. Starting with a new doctor tomorrow so hopefully we can come up with a strategy for that as well.  It is incredibly helpful to read about those walking down the same road as yourself, at the same pace, and who are finding that life is really better off of benzos.  Keep us posted!

[[jo...]]

Thank you squirrleygirl !

 

I think even if I have real problems in my life, benzo w/d it's amplifying this problems a lot, but It's good to know that the problems will improve as soon the wd becomes weaker and weaker.

 

Well, I encourage you to try to withdraw from other meds, but don't hurry up....take your time.

 

In my almost 5th month post withdrawal, I stopped this medications:

 

-Lyrica (from 600 mg...a lot!) cold turkey. Hard, but just for a week....then I even noticed the difference, so less shit in my brain.

 

- Paroxetine: feeling much better now without it.

 

- Quetiapine (50 mg): quit once, but I had to reinstate this week because it gives me a couple of extra hours of sleep, and now I need it. But once feeling better (and it will be soon!), I'll withdraw as well. Completely doable.

 

 

I know you have the desire to withdraw the other meds, but be carefull and I recommend you just withdraw one med at once.

 

A warm hug !!   

 

 

Joan

 

 

 

[[sq...]]

Congrats and good advice on the med weaning. Besides the side effects from the neurontin (similar to the Lyrica you were on) I want to get long term care insurance but it will increase the likelihood of being approved if my memory is better and the list of medications is shorter. When the insurance industry is evaluating you for insurance they want to be sure you aren't showing signs of early dementia and some of the cognitive effects of neurontin could be mistaken for real organic deterioration of the brain.  Did you stop the Lyrica on your own or was a doctor advising you on this?