guilt and extreme sadness about finances

[[ga...]]

I have had a great 'window' of several days, so started work on finances today...not good.  I feel so guilty for all the stupid spending I did over the last few years...spending money without even thinking about it!  I heard that that is part of this whole benzo craziness/behavior.  But, the guilt weighs me down big time for putting us into such debt.  So, I spent the afternoon in tears, poor me, etc., etc....trying to just keep plugging away and moving forward.  It's hard to do when this kind of stuff catches up with me and makes me feel like I sure screwed our lives up over the last few years.  Has anyone else experienced this buying frenzy??

[[Ni...]]

I feel guilty about the money I spent in detox and other medical bills because of benzos.  I lost my job of 26 years due to this mess. I was able to pay it all off with 401k money but lost money in additional fees and taxes.  I just hope and pray I fully heal in the next 12 months. 

[[Sh...]]

I feel guilty about the money I spent in detox and other medical bills because of benzos.  I lost my job of 26 years due to this mess. I was able to pay it all off with 401k money but lost money in additional fees and taxes.  I just hope and pray I fully heal in the next 12 months.

 

This benzo madeness cost you $401k!?!?

[[re...]]

I understand this.  The benzos took everything from me - career, wife, health, money.  I am trying to rebuild but at only two months out, I am not doing the greatest job.  I'm very scared about what tomorrow may bring.  It's an endless worry that consumes every waking hour. 

[[pu...]]

I spent all of my inherited money then some. It makes me sick!

 

I thought I had been healing recently, so I was trying to buy nice new clothes so I looked my best

when I went out, or tried applying to jobs (which still hasn't happened) ... and now I realize... none

of the clothes even fit me. Like buying things online in the wrong size, or in a panic at the store.

Totally ridiculous.

 

 

SO I am donating to the clothes and hopefully that will make me feel a little better.

 

 

 

Helping out others could take away some of our regrets.

[[Gr...]]

I feel guilty about the money I spent in detox and other medical bills because of benzos.  I lost my job of 26 years due to this mess. I was able to pay it all off with 401k money but lost money in additional fees and taxes.  I just hope and pray I fully heal in the next 12 months.

 

This benzo madeness cost you $401k!?!?

A "401k" is what they call a retirement account here in the US, it could have any amount of money in it. Of course Niners could have withdrawn $401k from her 401k, but I hope it wasn't that much.

[[re...]]

I spent all of my inherited money then some. It makes me sick!

 

I thought I had been healing recently, so I was trying to buy nice new clothes so I looked my best

when I went out, or tried applying to jobs (which still hasn't happened) ... and now I realize... none

of the clothes even fit me. Like buying things online in the wrong size, or in a panic at the store.

Totally ridiculous.

 

 

SO I am donating to the clothes and hopefully that will make me feel a little better.

 

 

 

Helping out others could take away some of our regrets.

 

that's beautiful and a positive spin.  thanks for sharing that.

[[Ni...]]

I feel guilty about the money I spent in detox and other medical bills because of benzos.  I lost my job of 26 years due to this mess. I was able to pay it all off with 401k money but lost money in additional fees and taxes.  I just hope and pray I fully heal in the next 12 months.

 

This benzo madeness cost you $401k!?!?

 

Shamo,

No, 401k is money that was meant for my retirement.  With the loss of wages plus debt accrued its definitely over $130k.  So depressing!

[[re...]]

I feel guilty about the money I spent in detox and other medical bills because of benzos.  I lost my job of 26 years due to this mess. I was able to pay it all off with 401k money but lost money in additional fees and taxes.  I just hope and pray I fully heal in the next 12 months.

 

This benzo madeness cost you $401k!?!?

 

Shamo,

No, 401k is money that was meant for my retirement.  With the loss of wages plus debt accrued its definitely over $130k.  So depressing!

 

i think finances are a terribly hard thing for many of us.  if the benzos themselves did not hurt our careers or bank accounts, the subsequent taper and withdrawal did. 

[[Da...]]

I have also had to use retirement money to support myself during this disaster and it is scary and it sucks. My brain is totally fried so I don't see myself returning to work tomorrow either. Family and others beat me up pretty bad about not working so that even makes things worse. I'm 52 so it is not like I have tons of time to make up for it. I worked everyday of my adult life until now and I'm not happy about not working myself. I feel it is a combination of crippling anxiety and the cognitive issues are making it impossible for me and I don't know how long it is going to last which also scares the hell out of me. A lot of us I feel have this same problem at it is scary as hell. I want to maintain hope for the future but it is very hard to do.

[[ed...]]

From my own experience and from several credible sources,

it's clear that benzos compromise judgment while taking them.

I burn with regret about blunders that I now know were

under the influence.

 

(And my judgment has been even worse since stopping them quickly.)

[[Be...]]

Why does everything have a price tag on it?  Evil money.  Ching, ching.  It sucks. 

[[Sh...]]

From my own experience and from several credible sources,

it's clear that benzos compromise judgment while taking them.

I burn with regret about blunders that I now know were

under the influence.

 

(And my judgment has been even worse since stopping them quickly.)

 

This. I made the biggest mistake of my life while under the influence of benzos. It basically caused a trauma for me. I woke up the next day and literally could not believe I had done that. That's the scariest part about these pills for me.

[[ga...]]

While on benzos I would buy things without even thinking...some good stuff, some stuff I didn't even need or want...so weird and embarrassing to look back on that now.  Trying to find the money to pay those dumb debts now is close to impossible as both my husband and I are retired....I spent this last week cleaning out closets/drawers and giving clothes to consignment and goodwill.  I also went through tons of books I had and gave those to Goodwill as well.  I was hoping to make money off of all of this stuff...NOT!  So, I just had to let it all go and hope that is good karma and it will come back around to me.Someone else can enjoy the clothes and books that I once did.  I didn't help to pay the credit cards, but it at least felt good to do.  Benzos sure messed up my life, but I now need to move forward.