Having a really bad day

[[So...]]

I have been crying all day and I am just fed up

 

I made a cut down to 1 mg 3 days ago and it just feels overwhelming today, no panic or anything just feeling very foggy headed and scared a bit.

I feel guilty and I can't stop crying, I just want to get better, I don't want to be one of those people who never gets better. I want to get married to my amazing fiance and he didn't sign up for any of this, the panic attacks and the anxiety, the fear or large crowds and fear of flying, I feel like I am not worth being with anymore and he just says how much he believes I will get through this and the life we will live after this over, but whatif I don't get better, what if this is just who I am and my life over at 24 and I wind up alone

 

 

[[no...]]

I have been crying all day and I am just fed up

 

I made a cut down to 1 mg 3 days ago and it just feels overwhelming today, no panic or anything just feeling very foggy headed and scared a bit.

I feel guilty and I can't stop crying, I just want to get better, I don't want to be one of those people who never gets better. I want to get married to my amazing fiance and he didn't sign up for any of this, the panic attacks and the anxiety, the fear or large crowds and fear of flying, I feel like I am not worth being with anymore and he just says how much he believes I will get through this and the life we will live after this over, but whatif I don't get better, what if this is just who I am and my life over at 24 and I wind up alone

 

Songbird,

 

Everything you just said is completely normal, the anxiety, panic, fear, relational stress, etc. But just understanding that this too shall pass, will make it easier! So I say it again, THIS TOO SHALL PASS! You will get better, you will heal, your brain will recover, your fiancee will marry you, you will live a happy & healthy life- just have to get out of this "bad dream" that we are all in. Don't let a little pill dictate the entirety of our life, lets kick it now & look forward to the future! I know you can... just in a rut at this time.

 

DISTRACTION: Find whatever helps distract you from the pain. If I recall, you like to run & workout and I am sure you already did that today, but maybe add a light exercise to take up more time like swimming or something? One of my sxs is my skin feels like its crawling all over my body, and I am super excitable & the water from a pool feels so incredibly refreshing. This is not medical advice, but I smoke medicinal marijuana at night, and it distracts me from everything which helps me get through the day/night. But don't depend on it- just a crutch.

 

I'm sure others have different opinion than mine, but are you able to reupdose to your last stable amount? I was having a terrible past 36 hours (extreme fear, anxiety, depression, tinnitus, shooting pains, skin crawls, etc) & I ended up looking over my notes and noticed that I cut too fast and needed to restabilize. So I reupped my dose so that I felt stable enough to work (had a HUGE meeting today, gave a speech, etc.) If you do reupdose, do smallest increment that you can, wait a few hours and hopefully feel a little bit better.

 

You got this girl, keep doing it. It's the toughest thing (hopefully) we will ever have to go through, and once you are done it will SO refreshing to say you beat this!

[[Tw...]]

I know these feelings oh too well. Go easy on yourself, your doing an incredibly difficult, positive, future life changing thing right now...I do my best to try and 'fake it, till I make it'  but sometimes it is too much and crying just becomes part of the healing process.

[[Fe...]]

I sympathise!  You're fiance is a great guy for believing in you! You are very lucky to have him And You DO deserve that! To go through what you are going through, you have to be a very strong person. Wich I think we all are! You're having a Really and Time BUT You WILL get through this!

 

wen

[[Ne...]]

I know how you feel! I woke up this morning in a terrible stressed/angry mood and completely snapped at my spouse.

 

This will get better. Be honest with your fiancé about your symptoms and explain what's going on in your head. Maybe even show him some posts from the forum.

 

You will get through this, and it will get better. Stay strong!

[[bb...]]

Day 3 is always the worst for me after a cut. I'm on day 5 now into my cut and it's getting better. You won't be like this forever. It is benzo lies that your brain is telling you. Just recognize that. 2 days ago, I was saying the exact same thing to my husband and just a crying. You'll level out. It's just our brains getting re-adjusted. Hang in there friend. (((HUGS)))