Jumped off 3 weeks ago

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I hope that my post will help someone out there who is tapering.

 

I had been tapering for a while and decided that I would just jump off the last 1/4 tablet of the .05mg that I was prescribed. 

I was already having side effects that would begin to wane as the weeks went on, so I thought why not just go all the way off?  So I did. 

The loud ringing in my ears continued, the all day long slight tremors continued.  My moods, well, most of the acute anger has subsided (I had major anger switching to depression while tapering, anyones guess was as good as mine which one that I would wake up with).

The sensitivity to noises in the evening continued.  Random panic attacks continued, as did random crying/depression spells.  Reflux started about 2 weeks into the taper to 1/4 pill and it made me miserable.

 

After about 10 days or so after the jump the side effects ramped back up, but not as bad as when I was originally tapering.  A new one surfaced.  A light clicking/tapping in my right ear that was like random Morse code.

 

3 weeks in to the jump I am feeling a bit better.  The high pitched ringing has died down a bit (I have had tinnitus for decades, so it will never be normal).  The tremors have been almost non-existent.  The evening sound sensitivity is less, but still there a bit.  The reflux is doing much better so far.  Panic attacks are few and far between. 

 

I will say that the spin the wheel to see what symptoms that you have that day is not a fun thing.  I have lived with chronic pain for decades, endured bleeding stomach ulcers, and a herniated disc among other things.  Being screwed up has been my normal. 

 

What has helped me: 

All through this I would remind myself that symptoms are just a part of healing, even if they made me miserable. 

I tried not to micromanage the taper. 

If I felt like I had a setback and symptoms became too harsh, I just slowed the taper down and held an extra week, but did not go back to a higher dose. 

When I jumped I was mentally prepared for symptoms to ramp up, just as I was with each taper. 

 

I am now benzo free!!