Need support.

[[...]]

Why did I take this stupid name on this forum 😟 Me2 😝

 

I have felt so bad, really bad since Friday last week.

Heart race, can't get out of bed before 3 pm, anxiety this terrible anxiety, can't walk, when I sit down my heart palpation just driving me insane.

I cry most of the day and night. Sweating during the night...and now when I'm up.

Sleep is ok, weirdly enough. When I wake up I'm sure that I'm gonna die.

.Just a walk to the kitchen to take my morning paroxetin and water makes me feeling like I'm gonna faint.

Shakes all the time. When I accidentally look myself in the mirror i wanna scream of fear. A ghost stare at me in the mirror.

Depressed, depressed. BP falls down to 78/55 when I brush my teeth, or just leave the bed.

I did go out for a short walk last night and nearly fainted. Short of breathe, anxious, feels like I'm falling.

 

Even when my husband is here I feel alone. Can't cry and go on about how I feel all the time. Hubby is great, but he need some space from this crappy wife.

 

Last time I visit my pdoc he told me that I could go up to 20 mg Diaz/day.

But everytime i take my dose I feel even moore sick, depressed and anxious.

I felt almost normal at 1 am today. Before going to sleep.

Now I'm afraid of sleeping, cause waking up is like dying again and again.

Reading my "diary" I can see that I was feeling good in October. Compared to how I feel now.

I have cut paroxetin,but done that before without any problem.

 

Taking my doses 4x day.

Sorry for this rambling and lack o English - just feeling so out of it.

Loosing myself.

Is this normal.

I'm not going to the ER again, only two weeks since I went to the ER and everything was fine.

 

Gah I really really hate this. Who am I ? Keep telling myself who I am.

 

 

 

[[Fi...]]

I can identify with everything you have written here 

 

So can everyone else who has been through the withdrawal process - you are not alone 

 

ALL OF IT will fade away over time and, for now, you must trust in that. It is NOT easy, but it is do-able.

 

Time IS the healer here. While time is passing, it is good to make yourself as comfortable as you can and let go of being hard on yourself. Pick on some things that you know you were interested in before all of this came about and engage in them - crosswords, reading, simple computer games and occupy your time as best you can with your interests...

 

Simple computer game here: http://www.flashbynight.com/drench/

 

This time next year, you will be looking back on all of this, well on the road to recovery, if not already well recovered 

 

:smitten:

 

 

 

[[...]]

Thank you Fizzle 

It's so encouraging to read you're answer to my desperate post ❤

Oh I know I'm not alone, it's just when everything feels so overwhelming I think everyone else can do this I'm to weak 

Thank you again! I will try to play a simple game.

Having blue light filter on otherwise I wouldn't cope to look at this pad.

 

Hugs

[[Fi...]]

Thank you Fizzle 

It's so encouraging to read you're answer to my desperate post ❤

Oh I know I'm not alone, it's just when everything feels so overwhelming I think everyone else can do this I'm to weak 

Thank you again! I will try to play a simple game.

Having blue light filter on otherwise I wouldn't cope to look at this pad.

 

Hugs

 

I used to think that too.

 

Other, more experienced people at the time told me that they thought the same, in their time, but that it was a very false assumption. They were right! 

 

You'll not only DO this, you'll thrive because you're doing it; the road to recovery is slow and slower, but each tiny step tempers us into hardened steel as we go - which is why we come out the other end of it stronger, clearer and fitter than we have ever been 

 

ALL your symptoms are signs that healing is taking place.

 

 

Onwards and Upwards!  :thumbsup:

 

 

 

:smitten:

[[...]]

Good to read that you used to think so too 

Yes  onwards and upwards !

Congrats to your amazing journey !

 

Thank you again for taking the time to answer 🙇💕

 

 

 

[[Fe...]]

I've had that kind of feelings as well and they WILL fade away! You are going to get through this! Months ago I was so scared all day long I didn't even dare to come out of bed, even moving from lying down to sitting up or going to the toilet was giving me heart palpitations,  panick attacks etc. And look at me now, almost off of the drugs and almost panick free! You are going to get there as well! Take care

 

wen

[[be...]]

If I managed to taper off 6.5 mg of K, then you can taper your benzo too. The fact that you are here means you mean it. It maybe rough for a while but I recall as I lowered my dose I felt oh so much better. I'm halfway through my Valium taper (did a partial C/O) and feel fine and up and about. When I was on my full dose of 10 mg I felt out of it, was tired all of the time and cared about nothing at all. You will get there, trust me and the other folks here on this forum. Good luck and best wishes.

 

fwiw~~there is a member here whose online name is Who-Am-I.

[[...]]

Thank you for good support Wen and Benzogirl !💕

Wen: Yes now it scares me to get out of bed and going to the toilet 😨

But I do get up, pushing myself and reading here.  Having agorafobia entering my own livingroom just ridiculous.

Tired of myself. Thank you Wen and yes you are doing great!

 

Benzogirl: You are amazing! Taper off 6,5 mg K  🙇

Yes I'm here because I really mean this, just want to get rid of benzo..

I understand what you mean by being tired on 10 mg V. Feeling the same here today.

Out of it, don't wanna talk to anyone and I really don't care about the things I used to.

Bye bye benzo 😤

Love your signature 😊

 

Thanks again for you input.

 

[[Fe...]]

I know right! I didn't even know why I was so afraid.  Later the panick started to fade and I felr just nerveus all the time. I was walking in the house by then but just felt nervous all day long. Then this faded away as well and now I'm coming outside again. With just waves of panick and nerves left but manageable. Now im on the edge of being in fight flight modr and being relaxed. I'm sure you will get through this. It just takes the body time to adjust I guess. I'm glad I have this forum, it's reassuring to read similar stories and knowing where the sxs come from and they will pass.

Hold on!

 

wen

[[Ca...]]

I like ur name Me2...!  -to me it says I AM.. -COUNT ME IN....!!

 

Every one is so right, it can seem impossible at places along the taper, and i came up with a dozen reasons y i was different and couldnt do it... (that was my big thing).

But we seem to adjust to the taper itself, and it does get easier and we get stronger... (except for when i do silly things like a 25% cut...)

I think there is light before the end of the tunnel.

 

Slow n steady, be s/x guided... all will be well again...

 

Best wishes and sending u some energy...

 

 

[[...]]

Wen: I know! Dont know why im so afraid, and when I'm not afraid I'll get nervous about why I'm not afraid 

 

Cantfly: Thank you    I think I have to wait and get stable on this doze. Even if it will take time.

Doing a slow taper with small cuts.

 

Holding on, trying to stay strong as you all do on BB 💙