7 years on kPin, taking my life back [somewhat slow taper until now]

[[no...]]

Good day all,

 

Not sure where to begin- looking for a support group. After calling and talking too alot of my previous GP's, Psy's and therapists they all said the same thing: There are 0 benzo specific support groups and all referred me to inpatient, or to look online (only one doc recommended online support group though.) Here I am.... I took kpin for 7 years for anxiety and sleep problems (I was only 18 years old at the time) and inherently trusted doctors after all my mother was an RN & agreed that I would benefit from short use of kpin. I have to note that previously after losing my father at the age of 14, my psych put me on an SSRI that I took for a couple years until I found kpin. After 4 weeks of use, doc wanted to take me off the kpin but I was reluctant, since it gave me this new and brave feeling and I felt like I conquered the world everyday! But in fact I was not conquering anything, I began showing up late to work, I stopped working out, I stopped playing competitive basketball, I stopped caring about anyones feeling but my own. This seemed to fit hand-in-hand with being "just another teenager," except I was on terrible drugs to suppress my central nervous system!

 

I was able to convince doc that kpin was the answer to my depression, anxiety and sleep disorder; he took me off the SSRI and claimed that I could use kpin as a substitute and literally said "you can take this amount for the next 20 years and I don't think you'd ever see a health problem from this." This BOLSTERED me to take this drug 3-5MG's daily for the next 5 years of my life with 0 disregard for the future and what it might have. In college I took 3-5MG's daily mainly because I liked the feeling (high) I got, and the zombie effect felt nice and neutral from the rather wild child I was.

 

Fast forward to 2015- therapist puts me on a new SSRI after I agreed and cut kpin to 2mgs daily. Did that non-sense for almost a year when I decided to cut the SSRI again and just use kpin. During that time, I don't recall any WD effects other than what I thought was the SSRI but afterthought I did have pretty bad WD effects for two weeks after the SSRI/kpin cut (over night too.) I was just uninformed entirely.

 

Today I am currently trying to do a direct taper after an incredibly long time of use and abuse (potentiating with binge alcohol, knowing I would blackout.) After tapering from 1.5MG to .75MG over 6 months (seems like too slow of a cut) I am feeling it. Shakes, paranoia, anxiety, skin crawling sensation, mouth tastes weird, audible illusions to name the dominant ones. I currently figured out a way to slice my pill better and reupdose to just under 1MG daily to avoid most of those symptoms and its been working. I work in a very stressful & high pressure field in defense contracting sales to the govt and CANNOT take time out my career for this, but am scared based on the stories I read that I will inevitably be bed ridden at some point. I want to avoid this at ANY COST, even debated staying on kpin my entire life (maybe 50yrs old if I'm lucky) because why go through it? But then I read of the stories of healing, and prosperity and feeling better than ever before & I WANT THAT for me and my future family. (Currently in a relationship of only 6 months, scared I will have to break it off due to my problem with benzos and inevitable WD.)

 

Can anyone give me a rather realistic outlook if I were to continue with an extremely slow taper (maybe future titration method?)Will I have to take a timeout from life and get myself back together? Have I taken this drug for far too many formidable years where my brain was still developing?

 

25 years old currently.

2010-2015: 3-5mg's daily

2015- June 2016: 1.5-2mg's daily

July-Oct 2016: 1.75mg

Oct-Dec 2016 : 1.5mg

Jan 2017: Currently trying to cut to 1mg daily but having trouble.

 

I just started writing down in a medical journal the doses, time of dose and physical feelings to help pinpoint more accurate dosing and WD effects / stabilization. (before doing that, I was just guessing)

 

I would like advice on sleep deprivation as I am currently getting 4 hours on average, just being an insomniac. Also must note that I smoke medical cannabis daily to help with the sleep, stress and other effects.  My GF gave me lavender essential oils to help sleep, and I would say it is a mild feeling aroma at best but not enough to sleep.

[[No...]]

I think you will be fine if you cut small amounts and hold for 3-4 weeks in between or wait until you symptoms subside. I haven't missed a day of work because of it although I certainly haven't felt great at times. Everyone is different and you will learn a lot about your mind and body during your first few cuts. Start with 5% and see what happens would be my inclination.

[[Go...]]

Hey, NorMore! Welcome to the boards!

 

I also work in government contracting (for 7+ years). Perhaps sometime, we could get into an exhilarating conversation on the Federal Acquisition Regulations 

 

It sounds like you've gone through quite the battle so far, but you should feel extremely good about how far you've come. I personally would continue with a slow, steady taper. I can't really tell from your post how much and how often you have been cutting, but the most common number you will see thrown around here is cutting 5-10% every 1-2 weeks. Some go slower and some go a bit faster, but you should keep your sxs in mind, especially given your career situation.

 

Whether or not you have to take a timeout from life will probably correlate with how big of cuts you make. The bigger the cut, the more intense sxs you will experience. The slower the cut, hopefully the sxs will be a bit more muted. For the last 2 months of taper, some days and weeks were pure hell. I literally could only manage to get myself out of bed and into work. And even then, I was not working at a high level. I also got engaged prior to my taper (didn't even know I was dependent at that time). I am fortunate to have an amazing fiance and she was extremely supportive during my taper. If you see real long term potential with your current relationship, I don't see why you have to put things on hold. But I would have an honest and open discussion with what you are experiencing and maybe even have your partner read some of the success stories on this board to get a better understanding of what you are going through and that you will eventually heal.  I only bring this up because I know that if I can get through this and be somewhat functional, you can too.

 

I honestly don't think you have taken the drug too long or too early for you to have permanent brain damage. There are accounts of people taking benzos for decades, from their early 20s, and being able to heal. I am confident you can heal, too.

 

At any rate, that was a lot longer than I had planned. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon!

[[no...]]

Hey Gomesia!

 

I work more with ITAR related products & manufacturers as a sales rep! I'm not extremely well versed in FAR's haha, but I know what I know and that's about it. 

 

I appreciate your post, and definitely struck a cord with me. Thank you for the positive reinforcement as I am feeling pretty down about the whole experience so far. Glad to feel welcomed here as well. I still need to figure out the best way to split the pills so I can taper in smaller amounts. My goal is to take as long as it takes to do this with as minimal sxs as possible, but still trying to cut monthly. I'm rambling a bit in my posts but as I feel is scatter brain'd.

 

I am hoping to not experience this hell, but seems inevitable. So far my GF is very on board with supporting me emotionally when I need it, she's awesome and care about each other. I just feel bad putting this burden on someone else while I go through this time of life. Probably just in my own head a little, I appreciate the kind words.

 

Here's onto the road to benzo freeeedom! 

[[Tw...]]

1mg was around the time I crossed to Valium and now doing a liquid taper off of that. I couldn't do the K taper direct, some can though. I'm more stable on Valium, only dose twice daily as opposed to 3 times before but same game of finding that even keel to come down from.

[[Go...]]

Hey Gomesia!

 

I work more with ITAR related products & manufacturers as a sales rep! I'm not extremely well versed in FAR's haha, but I know what I know and that's about it. 

 

I appreciate your post, and definitely struck a cord with me. Thank you for the positive reinforcement as I am feeling pretty down about the whole experience so far. Glad to feel welcomed here as well. I still need to figure out the best way to split the pills so I can taper in smaller amounts. My goal is to take as long as it takes to do this with as minimal sxs as possible, but still trying to cut monthly. I'm rambling a bit in my posts but as I feel is scatter brain'd.

 

I am hoping to not experience this hell, but seems inevitable. So far my GF is very on board with supporting me emotionally when I need it, she's awesome and care about each other. I just feel bad putting this burden on someone else while I go through this time of life. Probably just in my own head a little, I appreciate the kind words.

 

Here's onto the road to benzo freeeedom! 

 

Ah yes, ITAR and EAR! Definitely not my strong suit, but I know enough to be dangerous.

 

Not a problem on the welcoming. Do you have a grams scale for measuring your cuts? I was all new to this a few months ago and purchased this one https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM. It is very cheap and does the trick fine.

 

I also learned how to use the scale and measure cuts from this thread and the YouTube video in the first post: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74216.0.

 

You may also want to check out the KlonopinKlub thread. There is a wealth of knowledge and some very friendly people in there: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.0

 

I also felt pretty down about the whole experience. I felt guilty for getting myself into this mess in the first place. I felt guilty for having to put my fiance through this and added stress to her already big workload. There were days I felt hopeless and like I was never going to feel like myself again. I am only about a month out from my jump date, but I am feeling so much better than I ever did in WD. I am starting to take enjoyment in things again, and little by little, starting to feel like myself again. No matter how hard it gets, just remember you will feel better one day, too. Everyone has their own timeline, but you will get there.

 

Keep pushing, man!

[[No...]]

Great advice above. The only decision you have to make before you start is whether to direct taper or crossover or liquid titration. I found direct tapering works fine for me and I really didn't want to take the chance of bad W/D from a crossover although many do fine. Which brand Kline-in pill are you using? Are you taking the generic clonazepam? It does matter if you direct taper.

[[So...]]

Good day all,

 

Not sure where to begin- looking for a support group. After calling and talking too alot of my previous GP's, Psy's and therapists they all said the same thing: There are 0 benzo specific support groups and all referred me to inpatient, or to look online (only one doc recommended online support group though.) Here I am.... I took kpin for 7 years for anxiety and sleep problems (I was only 18 years old at the time) and inherently trusted doctors after all my mother was an RN & agreed that I would benefit from short use of kpin. I have to note that previously after losing my father at the age of 14, my psych put me on an SSRI that I took for a couple years until I found kpin. After 4 weeks of use, doc wanted to take me off the kpin but I was reluctant, since it gave me this new and brave feeling and I felt like I conquered the world everyday! But in fact I was not conquering anything, I began showing up late to work, I stopped working out, I stopped playing competitive basketball, I stopped caring about anyones feeling but my own. This seemed to fit hand-in-hand with being "just another teenager," except I was on terrible drugs to suppress my central nervous system!

 

I was able to convince doc that kpin was the answer to my depression, anxiety and sleep disorder; he took me off the SSRI and claimed that I could use kpin as a substitute and literally said "you can take this amount for the next 20 years and I don't think you'd ever see a health problem from this." This BOLSTERED me to take this drug 3-5MG's daily for the next 5 years of my life with 0 disregard for the future and what it might have. In college I took 3-5MG's daily mainly because I liked the feeling (high) I got, and the zombie effect felt nice and neutral from the rather wild child I was.

 

Fast forward to 2015- therapist puts me on a new SSRI after I agreed and cut kpin to 2mgs daily. Did that non-sense for almost a year when I decided to cut the SSRI again and just use kpin. During that time, I don't recall any WD effects other than what I thought was the SSRI but afterthought I did have pretty bad WD effects for two weeks after the SSRI/kpin cut (over night too.) I was just uninformed entirely.

 

Today I am currently trying to do a direct taper after an incredibly long time of use and abuse (potentiating with binge alcohol, knowing I would blackout.) After tapering from 1.5MG to .75MG over 6 months (seems like too slow of a cut) I am feeling it. Shakes, paranoia, anxiety, skin crawling sensation, mouth tastes weird, audible illusions to name the dominant ones. I currently figured out a way to slice my pill better and reupdose to just under 1MG daily to avoid most of those symptoms and its been working. I work in a very stressful & high pressure field in defense contracting sales to the govt and CANNOT take time out my career for this, but am scared based on the stories I read that I will inevitably be bed ridden at some point. I want to avoid this at ANY COST, even debated staying on kpin my entire life (maybe 50yrs old if I'm lucky) because why go through it? But then I read of the stories of healing, and prosperity and feeling better than ever before & I WANT THAT for me and my future family. (Currently in a relationship of only 6 months, scared I will have to break it off due to my problem with benzos and inevitable WD.)

 

Can anyone give me a rather realistic outlook if I were to continue with an extremely slow taper (maybe future titration method?)Will I have to take a timeout from life and get myself back together? Have I taken this drug for far too many formidable years where my brain was still developing?

 

25 years old currently.

2010-2015: 3-5mg's daily

2015- June 2016: 1.5-2mg's daily

July-Oct 2016: 1.75mg

Oct-Dec 2016 : 1.5mg

Jan 2017: Currently trying to cut to 1mg daily but having trouble.

 

I just started writing down in a medical journal the doses, time of dose and physical feelings to help pinpoint more accurate dosing and WD effects / stabilization. (before doing that, I was just guessing)

 

I would like advice on sleep deprivation as I am currently getting 4 hours on average, just being an insomniac. Also must note that I smoke medical cannabis daily to help with the sleep, stress and other effects.  My GF gave me lavender essential oils to help sleep, and I would say it is a mild feeling aroma at best but not enough to sleep.

 

So nice to see somebody under 50 here, not that there's anything wrong with being older but I'm 24 and am getting off benzos and just feel way too young to be dealing with this. I am down to 1 mg and hope to taper off with dry cutting hopefully be off by May totally. I really do believe in neuroplasticity and the power of the brain to heal itself, I have had windows which I guess I just call good days where I feel better than I have since before I started taking klonopin and that is really encouraging.

 

I highly recommend cutting out alcohol until you are done with your taper and also working out and eating clean. It really does help! I've been engaged now for 2 years and have put a wedding on hold for this taper but there is so much good waiting on the otherside of this, PM me anytime!

[[no...]]

Hey Noles!

 

Thanks for the insight! I am trying to avoid a bad WD and SXS at any cost, I had though that a substitution is often better suited for those kind of results? But you are correct, others have had great success with just a direct taper. I take the generic version of clonzepam, mfg'er name is unknown to me (could probably find out if that information is useful.)

 

Hi SongBird!

 

You know.... I was thinking the same thing, I am WAY too young to be dealing with an addiction of this many years! I am glad you are here, us youngster fighting the good battle. I am only 25 years old as well. But the idea is by the time I am 30, we should be on up&up for good! I keep trying to convince myself in neuroplasticity and that my brain and CNS will heal from the years of sedation, but I can't lie, I don't feel like I will ever be the same energetic, intelligently curious & imaginative kid that I was! I do need to cut any and all alcohol out of my diet, and that will be tricky for me. Everyone I surround myself with socially drinks.. but that's a battle I will have to confront.

 

Thankfully my GF is so very supportive thus far- I know this is a deal breaker for most. So hopefully I won't be posting on BB regarding relationship fallout in the future! I did debate with myself about breaking it off until I could get off benzos for good because I don't want anyone to see me at my lowest..

 

 

Thank you all for the replies and support, God knows I need it! Currently I am feeling pretty good on 1mg and feel stable/ baselined. I plan to cut 10% in three weeks, I will post my schedule here for constructive criticism soon!

 

-NMKP

[[no...]]

 

Ah yes, ITAR and EAR! Definitely not my strong suit, but I know enough to be dangerous.

 

Not a problem on the welcoming. Do you have a grams scale for measuring your cuts? I was all new to this a few months ago and purchased this one https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM. It is very cheap and does the trick fine.

 

I also learned how to use the scale and measure cuts from this thread and the YouTube video in the first post: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74216.0.

 

You may also want to check out the KlonopinKlub thread. There is a wealth of knowledge and some very friendly people in there: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.0

 

I also felt pretty down about the whole experience. I felt guilty for getting myself into this mess in the first place. I felt guilty for having to put my fiance through this and added stress to her already big workload. There were days I felt hopeless and like I was never going to feel like myself again. I am only about a month out from my jump date, but I am feeling so much better than I ever did in WD. I am starting to take enjoyment in things again, and little by little, starting to feel like myself again. No matter how hard it gets, just remember you will feel better one day, too. Everyone has their own timeline, but you will get there.

 

Keep pushing, man!

 

ITAR, EAR, FAIR, AS9100, PPaP, ISO9001 - just a bunch of acronyms meant to make the government more money! 

 

I ordered myself that gram scale and also watched the video! Thank you for the help! Now I know exactly how I am going to do this...and with the right tools. I am struggling explaining the severity of this situation with my Mother though (who was a registered nurse & takes 1mg kpin a night to sleep herself) as she doesn't think WD & SXS will be troublesome. I am not trying to convince her to stop her own kpin use, as she is in a different place in life (on a cocktail of meds from chemo & rad.) She is a huge part of my emotional support system though, so having her on board and same page is crucial to me.

 

I am trying to find a good, well written success story that embodies both the severe reality of the situation (sxs & wd's, or hell) along with copious amounts of optimism once I kick this pill! She is willing to be informed, and read about it but the Dr. Ashton manual has too much info to cram in a limited amount of capacity. 

[[be...]]

I did it slowly as I wanted my life in  order. I had to taper 6.5 mg of K and only cut 5% every 14 days. It took a while but then again you are on a small dose compared to me. I felt fine throughout my taper and had no post taper w/d. I wasn't able to work at the beginning because of my high dose (10 mg in all), but as soon as I tapered I began to feel well again. When I got down to .625 mg, I used a scale and did a dry MT. Liquid seemed to complicated for me as I did not want to carry a jar around in my car. You have many options, and believe you me, many of the rest of us here wish we began a taper at your early age. You have your life in  front of you so soon this will be a bad dream for you. Good luck in that job of yours and glad you have a very nice gf.

 

Betsy

[[Go...]]

 

Ah yes, ITAR and EAR! Definitely not my strong suit, but I know enough to be dangerous.

 

Not a problem on the welcoming. Do you have a grams scale for measuring your cuts? I was all new to this a few months ago and purchased this one https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM. It is very cheap and does the trick fine.

 

I also learned how to use the scale and measure cuts from this thread and the YouTube video in the first post: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74216.0.

 

You may also want to check out the KlonopinKlub thread. There is a wealth of knowledge and some very friendly people in there: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.0

 

I also felt pretty down about the whole experience. I felt guilty for getting myself into this mess in the first place. I felt guilty for having to put my fiance through this and added stress to her already big workload. There were days I felt hopeless and like I was never going to feel like myself again. I am only about a month out from my jump date, but I am feeling so much better than I ever did in WD. I am starting to take enjoyment in things again, and little by little, starting to feel like myself again. No matter how hard it gets, just remember you will feel better one day, too. Everyone has their own timeline, but you will get there.

 

Keep pushing, man!

 

ITAR, EAR, FAIR, AS9100, PPaP, ISO9001 - just a bunch of acronyms meant to make the government more money! 

 

I ordered myself that gram scale and also watched the video! Thank you for the help! Now I know exactly how I am going to do this...and with the right tools. I am struggling explaining the severity of this situation with my Mother though (who was a registered nurse & takes 1mg kpin a night to sleep herself) as she doesn't think WD & SXS will be troublesome. I am not trying to convince her to stop her own kpin use, as she is in a different place in life (on a cocktail of meds from chemo & rad.) She is a huge part of my emotional support system though, so having her on board and same page is crucial to me.

 

I am trying to find a good, well written success story that embodies both the severe reality of the situation (sxs & wd's, or hell) along with copious amounts of optimism once I kick this pill! She is willing to be informed, and read about it but the Dr. Ashton manual has too much info to cram in a limited amount of capacity. 

 

This is the one that really struck a chord with me and provided me comfort when I was at my lowest. I felt it perfectly encapsulated everything I was going through (except the religious aspect): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=161927.0. This is also the one I had my fiance read to help better understand what I am going through. While she acknowledges, she could never completely understand, this did indeed help her.

 

Take care!

[[no...]]

 

Ah yes, ITAR and EAR! Definitely not my strong suit, but I know enough to be dangerous.

 

Not a problem on the welcoming. Do you have a grams scale for measuring your cuts? I was all new to this a few months ago and purchased this one https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM. It is very cheap and does the trick fine.

 

I also learned how to use the scale and measure cuts from this thread and the YouTube video in the first post: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74216.0.

 

You may also want to check out the KlonopinKlub thread. There is a wealth of knowledge and some very friendly people in there: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.0

 

I also felt pretty down about the whole experience. I felt guilty for getting myself into this mess in the first place. I felt guilty for having to put my fiance through this and added stress to her already big workload. There were days I felt hopeless and like I was never going to feel like myself again. I am only about a month out from my jump date, but I am feeling so much better than I ever did in WD. I am starting to take enjoyment in things again, and little by little, starting to feel like myself again. No matter how hard it gets, just remember you will feel better one day, too. Everyone has their own timeline, but you will get there.

 

Keep pushing, man!

 

ITAR, EAR, FAIR, AS9100, PPaP, ISO9001 - just a bunch of acronyms meant to make the government more money! 

 

I ordered myself that gram scale and also watched the video! Thank you for the help! Now I know exactly how I am going to do this...and with the right tools. I am struggling explaining the severity of this situation with my Mother though (who was a registered nurse & takes 1mg kpin a night to sleep herself) as she doesn't think WD & SXS will be troublesome. I am not trying to convince her to stop her own kpin use, as she is in a different place in life (on a cocktail of meds from chemo & rad.) She is a huge part of my emotional support system though, so having her on board and same page is crucial to me.

 

I am trying to find a good, well written success story that embodies both the severe reality of the situation (sxs & wd's, or hell) along with copious amounts of optimism once I kick this pill! She is willing to be informed, and read about it but the Dr. Ashton manual has too much info to cram in a limited amount of capacity. 

 

This is the one that really struck a chord with me and provided me comfort when I was at my lowest. I felt it perfectly encapsulated everything I was going through (except the religious aspect): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=161927.0. This is also the one I had my fiance read to help better understand what I am going through. While she acknowledges, she could never completely understand, this did indeed help her.

 

Take care!

 

Thanks Gomesia! That success story is fantastic. I am going to share that with my GF as well. My mother is completely on board after reading that story, in fact we might see her story on bb.com soon too as she expressed to me today that she would like to get off her kpin of 8 years (never knew what she took or for how long..)

 

Having trouble with my jaw today- so very tight and painful. I want that to stop so bad... but I know its part of the process. Does the jaw clenching happen throughout the entirity? Or will I have waves as well? I'm debating re updosing a smidge since its hurting pretty bad and I need to travel & give a speech for work tomorrow. Thoughts anyone? Can I take a small updose to feel better? Or does it not work like that?

[[No...]]

If you are using clonazepam try to get the TEVA pills. They are the most consistent and have the least amount of fillers which means more accurate cuts as you go lower.

 

 

Check out the general taper plan info on clonazepam pill weights using a gram scale~ makes it easier!

 

Best of luck

 

[[no...]]

If you are using clonazepam try to get the TEVA pills. They are the most consistent and have the least amount of fillers which means more accurate cuts as you go lower.

 

 

Check out the general taper plan info on clonazepam pill weights using a gram scale~ makes it easier!

 

Best of luck

 

Thank you! Is that a question I ask the pharmacist? For TEVA instead of something else? I'm unaware about the different pills of Klonopin generics. (Probably wrong section to ask this question)

 

I scheduled my taper today while I was at work, doing 10% cuts for 12 months, jumping on my birthday 12/30 @ .005mg

 

[[Go...]]

 

Ah yes, ITAR and EAR! Definitely not my strong suit, but I know enough to be dangerous.

 

Not a problem on the welcoming. Do you have a grams scale for measuring your cuts? I was all new to this a few months ago and purchased this one https://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-GEMINI-20-Portable-MilliGram/dp/B0012TDNAM. It is very cheap and does the trick fine.

 

I also learned how to use the scale and measure cuts from this thread and the YouTube video in the first post: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=74216.0.

 

You may also want to check out the KlonopinKlub thread. There is a wealth of knowledge and some very friendly people in there: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=163449.0

 

I also felt pretty down about the whole experience. I felt guilty for getting myself into this mess in the first place. I felt guilty for having to put my fiance through this and added stress to her already big workload. There were days I felt hopeless and like I was never going to feel like myself again. I am only about a month out from my jump date, but I am feeling so much better than I ever did in WD. I am starting to take enjoyment in things again, and little by little, starting to feel like myself again. No matter how hard it gets, just remember you will feel better one day, too. Everyone has their own timeline, but you will get there.

 

Keep pushing, man!

 

ITAR, EAR, FAIR, AS9100, PPaP, ISO9001 - just a bunch of acronyms meant to make the government more money! 

 

I ordered myself that gram scale and also watched the video! Thank you for the help! Now I know exactly how I am going to do this...and with the right tools. I am struggling explaining the severity of this situation with my Mother though (who was a registered nurse & takes 1mg kpin a night to sleep herself) as she doesn't think WD & SXS will be troublesome. I am not trying to convince her to stop her own kpin use, as she is in a different place in life (on a cocktail of meds from chemo & rad.) She is a huge part of my emotional support system though, so having her on board and same page is crucial to me.

 

I am trying to find a good, well written success story that embodies both the severe reality of the situation (sxs & wd's, or hell) along with copious amounts of optimism once I kick this pill! She is willing to be informed, and read about it but the Dr. Ashton manual has too much info to cram in a limited amount of capacity. 

 

This is the one that really struck a chord with me and provided me comfort when I was at my lowest. I felt it perfectly encapsulated everything I was going through (except the religious aspect): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=161927.0. This is also the one I had my fiance read to help better understand what I am going through. While she acknowledges, she could never completely understand, this did indeed help her.

 

Take care!

 

Thanks Gomesia! That success story is fantastic. I am going to share that with my GF as well. My mother is completely on board after reading that story, in fact we might see her story on bb.com soon too as she expressed to me today that she would like to get off her kpin of 8 years (never knew what she took or for how long..)

 

Having trouble with my jaw today- so very tight and painful. I want that to stop so bad... but I know its part of the process. Does the jaw clenching happen throughout the entirity? Or will I have waves as well? I'm debating re updosing a smidge since its hurting pretty bad and I need to travel & give a speech for work tomorrow. Thoughts anyone? Can I take a small updose to feel better? Or does it not work like that?

 

Great news about your, mom! I wish her the best as well.

 

Sorry I can't be of help with your jaw clenching issue. That is one symptom I have not had to deal with, thankfully. I would suspect it would be like most other sxs, though -- come and go in waves. I don't think I have had one symptom the entire duration of this process. they all tended to come and go for me.

 

I am conflicted on up-dosing and you will probably see a lot of variance in people's opinions. I also have to give a lot of presentations for work (my last one was in front of 150+ people). As you can imagine, with benzo brain, this can be really hard. If I was feeling really terrible or anticipating a particularly stressful situation, I would up-dose. Say if I was down to like .2 mgs a day, i might take .5 (which is a huge increase). It would be a one day emergency dose and would make me feel better and I didn't notice a huge uptick in symptoms after. I always questioned though whether the handful of times I did this has prevented me from healing faster.  If you do decide to up-dose, I would do it as little as possible.

[[be...]]

If you are using clonazepam try to get the TEVA pills. They are the most consistent and have the least amount of fillers which means more accurate cuts as you go lower.

 

 

Check out the general taper plan info on clonazepam pill weights using a gram scale~ makes it easier!

 

Best of luck

 

Thank you! Is that a question I ask the pharmacist? For TEVA instead of something else? I'm unaware about the different pills of Klonopin generics. (Probably wrong section to ask this question)

 

I scheduled my taper today while I was at work, doing 10% cuts for 12 months, jumping on my birthday 12/30 @ .005mg

 

That's the brand I always use. If I get a different brand I can feel it, and it's not nice.

[[no...]]

If you are using clonazepam try to get the TEVA pills. They are the most consistent and have the least amount of fillers which means more accurate cuts as you go lower.

 

 

Check out the general taper plan info on clonazepam pill weights using a gram scale~ makes it easier!

 

Best of luck

 

Thank you! Is that a question I ask the pharmacist? For TEVA instead of something else? I'm unaware about the different pills of Klonopin generics. (Probably wrong section to ask this question)

 

I scheduled my taper today while I was at work, doing 10% cuts for 12 months, jumping on my birthday 12/30 @ .005mg

 

That's the brand I always use. If I get a different brand I can feel it, and it's not nice.

 

Do I just ask the pharmacist for it?

[[be...]]

Check what brand you have been using. If it's a brand that you like, no worries. But if it's a different brand, yes ask your pharmacy to special order it. I always do.

[[no...]]

Posted in another thread, but I am crossing over to diazepam in hopes of less sxs's as I never really stabilized, kept having spells of dizziness on random occasions. Even so much that I am afraid to ride the motorcycle... there goes my bliss.

 

Updosed to 1mg again trying to stabilize and ease the C/O to diazepam.

[[lo...]]

I would have tried smaller cuts than 9% at first before making the decision to cross over, as that frequently gives people problems. I do 2% every 7 days, and that works well for me. If you still can, I'd try smaller more frequent cuts instead!

[[no...]]

I would have tried smaller cuts than 9% at first before making the decision to cross over, as that frequently gives people problems. I do 2% every 7 days, and that works well for me. If you still can, I'd try smaller more frequent cuts instead!

 

I was having interdose withdrawals with panic attacks, DR, dizziness at work. Making it tough to talk to people is going to be a problem.  I take 3 doses a day and I would just beg the clock to move faster to be able to take my next dose. The switch to diazepam hopefully to eliminate that problem with a longer lasting blood concentration of the benzo, instead of low blood levels in between doses. I'm confident I can cross over given I slowly introduce.

 

Influenced by my symptoms and the manual. http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashvtaper.htm

 

I'm sure doc would let me switch back if I begin to have problems. We had a great appt today.