7 years on Benzos and taking back my life.

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Hi all,

 

I began taking Klonopin at the age of 18 for a couple of reasons but the main one being anxiety and insomnia. Both of those symptoms were exasperated within 6 months I almost lost my mother to schleroderma, and my step father also had a heart defect and almost died on the table after real father passed when I was 14, I witnessed his last breath.So, being the scarred child I was, doc saw fit to give kpin to an 18yr old, 1MG twice daily.

 

Went to college and hit rock bottom there. Obviously I didnt heed any warning about alcohol and benzo use. I instantly became an abuser, popping 4-5 mgs every day (would buy off of other kids) and potentiating it with a rack of beer 4 days a week. I felt like my entire college experience was a dream. I don't remember much.

 

I did however always keep my work ethic high, not in school, but every job i've had. Never been fired from any job, not careless, very precise. I now work in high stress outside sales. With that being said, I plan on working during the withdrawals and cannot take time off of life. Which is proving difficult currently.

 

Continuing with my story, I ended up dropping out of college due to a great job at the time and no money & bad grades. I continued working and at some point thought I would benefit from a higher dose of Klonopin, 1MG x 3 times daily.

 

I took this dose for approx 3 years.  At some point  found cannabis and it helped my anxiety so very much! I think I was smoking all the time, thus taking less klonopin, down to .5mg x 3 times daily.

 

Fast forward to today, 7 years later taking 1.5-2mgs daily of Klonopin. I am dealing with mental memory problems where I forget conversations I've had, even if as recent as the day before. I don't recall events from days, or specifics at life changing events. I don't know if I've ever loved a significant other. I am the one to not cry at any funeral or devastating news. I don't know if that's normal for some but I feel i am slowly progressing into a gray emotional blob.

 

I read the success stories here coupled with the oodles of pages from Aston's work and I KNOW I have the will power and knowledge along with proper support to accomplish anything, even if it might be the hardest thing to withdrawal from. I look forward to posting my success story here when I accomplish this feat. I plan on finding another doctor to work with me using vallium as a substitute to continue the taper with less WD effects that I am currently feeling.

 

TLDR: 7 years Klonopin, 3MGs daily for most of it but recently tapered down to 1.5 after 6 months. Feeling WD effects, looking to substitute after consulting with a doc.

 

Thank you!

Kyle

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Hi  Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I am glad you found us today. Congratulations on your taper so far.  It looks like you have come a long way in reducing your dose.

 

You might like to check out The Ashton Manual it is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field. 

 

Please feel free to post to any of the dedicated boards, we have a wonderful community of people here, who will give sound advice. Members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal and are more than willing to share their experiences.

 

General Taper Plans

Withdrawal Support During Your Taper

 

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again Welcome! 

 

benzos-R-cruel

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Thank you, glad to be here.