Fearful to cut smaller/slower

[[Da...]]

I know everyone has been telling me to slow down my taper, cut smaller and I'll feel better but I'm petrified that I'll still experience the same level of symptoms Ive been experiencing.  Today is pretty friggen bad. I cut last Monday so I'm about 9 days into my last taper. Granted I didn't sleep well last night so that's probably contributing to my sxs but I'm just scared.

 

 

Scared that I won't get any better. Scared that I'll hold and cut, hold and cut, hold and basically feel no different except it will take longer and be more suffering for me to endure.

 

I need some people that went through a fast taper and decided to slow down and saw improvements to share their experience. I need to know this will be helpful and not just dragged out suffering.

[[Da...]]

Can anybody give an experience

[[go...]]

I have slowed down my taper only in the size of the cuts. Each cut for me as brought a different set of symptoms. I am now down 66% from my start and I actually feel great EXCEPT...I have now gotten VERY HIGH blood pressure and panic attacks, which I have never had. All my other symptoms are way in the background. No GI problems, no vertigo, less headaches. Appetite has begun to return, sleeping less (was sleeping well over 9 hours a night and woke up exhausted). You have to move forward, prepare for changes and try to be positive.  I know this is awful, some days I would rather give up...but there are days when the sky clears and I get a glimpse of my old self. I am hoping the panic attacks lessen and the bp meds do their job. This sucks,but we must keep fighting!

[[Su...]]

I know everyone has been telling me to slow down my taper, cut smaller and I'll feel better but I'm petrified that I'll still experience the same level of symptoms Ive been experiencing.  Today is pretty friggen bad. I cut last Monday so I'm about 9 days into my last taper. Granted I didn't sleep well last night so that's probably contributing to my sxs but I'm just scared.

 

 

Scared that I won't get any better. Scared that I'll hold and cut, hold and cut, hold and basically feel no different except it will take longer and be more suffering for me to endure.

 

I need some people that went through a fast taper and decided to slow down and saw improvements to share their experience. I need to know this will be helpful and not just dragged out suffering.

 

I don't mean this unkindly but if people have advised you to slow down -- and you haven't -- what other advice are you expecting?  Clearly you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms from cutting too quickly so obviously our answers are going to be the same!  There are simply no quick solutions to getting off these drugs so why not try slowing down and deal with things when and if they happen.  The only thing for sure is that this whole process takes time -- only time.  Having said this I wish you all the very best for a successful and drug free future - given time!

[[Da...]]

I know everyone has been telling me to slow down my taper, cut smaller and I'll feel better but I'm petrified that I'll still experience the same level of symptoms Ive been experiencing.  Today is pretty friggen bad. I cut last Monday so I'm about 9 days into my last taper. Granted I didn't sleep well last night so that's probably contributing to my sxs but I'm just scared.

 

 

Scared that I won't get any better. Scared that I'll hold and cut, hold and cut, hold and basically feel no different except it will take longer and be more suffering for me to endure.

 

I need some people that went through a fast taper and decided to slow down and saw improvements to share their experience. I need to know this will be helpful and not just dragged out suffering.

 

I don't mean this unkindly but if people have advised you to slow down -- and you haven't -- what other advice are you expecting?  Clearly you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms from cutting too quickly so obviously our answers are going to be the same!  There are simply no quick solutions to getting off these drugs so why not try slowing down and deal with things when and if they happen.  The only thing for sure is that this whole process takes time -- only time.  Having said this I wish you all the very best for a successful and drug free future - given time!

 

I am slowing down and currently in holding, and when I start my taper again I'll be cutting .0625 every 10-14 days depending on how I'm feeling but I'm just scared that I won't get any better. I held for 4 weeks around Christmas and my symptoms seemed to just get worse and worse so I was looking for some reassurance again that I'm doing the right thing because today it sure doesn't feel like it.

[[Be...]]

Please read my sig. My initial cuts were huge and fast. Not good. I suffered immensely. Then I did MT for the remaining .50 mg and it took a long time, and I continued suffering but not as much as at the beginning. The slow taper was necessary for me to function better during the taper. That was one reason; the other was to not further traumatize the neuroreceptor functioning.

 

Psychologically and emotionally, symptoms are unwelcome, but they are not inherently bad; they are indicators that's something is out of whack. Because we are each so different genetically, physiologically, there will be no taper formula that works maximally for all to lessen symptoms, nor will they even be the same. But there is a middle of the road kind of approach for tapering that is worth considering (5-10% every 14 days), and holding as necessary. That said, if you can get off benzos at whatever rate, and ride out the time it takes to recovery, that's all that matters. If your taper is tolerable and symptoms are not increasing, then you may be doing what works best for you.

 

Feeling scared is understandable because this is a freaky experience, and we tend to be in fight or flight mode due to chemicals. Future tripping is understandable too, but that is one that you must try to nip in the bud. I'd use every coping tool you can find, and also read the success stories. this is the part that helps the most!

[[Rh...]]

Hi, yes, I am in the same boat...I feel bad tapering, bad holding and am scared to make smaller cuts because it seems like it'll just prolong the torture.

 

I just started a micro taper with a compound and I split up my dose into three.  I am on 5.5 mg's Valium.

 

It's very scary and so hard to live day to day sick, fatigued and with little hope.  We will all get there.  You can PM me if needed.

 

Rach

[[bl...]]

Most experts and Benzo support groups agree that it is not a race and small cuts made once stabikised from the previous cut is the way to minimise symptoms. The British national formulary state that withdrawal can occur up to 3 weeks after a cut so cutting at a faster rate just causes accumulation of symptoms as your Gaba receptors will not adjust to each new dose. I am going smsll and slow and working full time and have twins. I realise my taper could take 2 years but I believe functionality is more important than speed. A sensible taper is less likely to produce protracted withdrawals in completion of the taper.  Your taper does look fast.

[[Be...]]

Most experts and Benzo support groups agree that it is not a race and small cuts made once stabikised from the previous cut is the way to minimise symptoms. The British national formulary state that withdrawal can occur up to 3 weeks after a cut so cutting at a faster rate just causes accumulation of symptoms as your Gaba receptors will not adjust to each new dose. I am going smsll and slow and working full time and have twins. I realise my taper could take 2 years but I believe functionality is more important than speed. A sensible taper is less likely to produce protracted withdrawals in completion of the taper.  Your taper does look fast.

 

Well said. 

[[am...]]

Dad

 

The only thing that a fast taper accomplishes is that you quit taking the medicine sooner. Our brains take time to heal and you will have less symptoms doing a longer taper with smaller cuts. Taper fast and be sick as hell while you are tapering and when you are done, or taper slow and be done with minimal symptoms. I tried the fast and furious method and was sick as hell when I was done. You will get better, it just takes time. Believe in yourself and the ability for your brain to heal. You will be well again.     

[[Su...]]

I know everyone has been telling me to slow down my taper, cut smaller and I'll feel better but I'm petrified that I'll still experience the same level of symptoms Ive been experiencing.  Today is pretty friggen bad. I cut last Monday so I'm about 9 days into my last taper. Granted I didn't sleep well last night so that's probably contributing to my sxs but I'm just scared.

 

 

Scared that I won't get any better. Scared that I'll hold and cut, hold and cut, hold and basically feel no different except it will take longer and be more suffering for me to endure.

 

I need some people that went through a fast taper and decided to slow down and saw improvements to share their experience. I need to know this will be helpful and not just dragged out suffering.

 

I don't mean this unkindly but if people have advised you to slow down -- and you haven't -- what other advice are you expecting?  Clearly you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms from cutting too quickly so obviously our answers are going to be the same!  There are simply no quick solutions to getting off these drugs so why not try slowing down and deal with things when and if they happen.  The only thing for sure is that this whole process takes time -- only time.  Having said this I wish you all the very best for a successful and drug free future - given time!

 

I am slowing down and currently in holding, and when I start my taper again I'll be cutting .0625 every 10-14 days depending on how I'm feeling but I'm just scared that I won't get any better. I held for 4 weeks around Christmas and my symptoms seemed to just get worse and worse so I was looking for some reassurance again that I'm doing the right thing because today it sure doesn't feel like it.

 

My advice is to hold until you feel better before cutting again.  At the end of the day only you can help yourself. If you cut again so soon you will only exacerbate the situation is my experience.  However I can reassure you that you can, and will, feel better over time.

[[Su...]]

Most experts and Benzo support groups agree that it is not a race and small cuts made once stabikised from the previous cut is the way to minimise symptoms. The British national formulary state that withdrawal can occur up to 3 weeks after a cut so cutting at a faster rate just causes accumulation of symptoms as your Gaba receptors will not adjust to each new dose. I am going smsll and slow and working full time and have twins. I realise my taper could take 2 years but I believe functionality is more important than speed. A sensible taper is less likely to produce protracted withdrawals in completion of the taper.  Your taper does look fast.

 

Indeed 

 

Well said. 

[[bu...]]

I know everyone has been telling me to slow down my taper, cut smaller and I'll feel better but I'm petrified that I'll still experience the same level of symptoms Ive been experiencing.  Today is pretty friggen bad. I cut last Monday so I'm about 9 days into my last taper. Granted I didn't sleep well last night so that's probably contributing to my sxs but I'm just scared.

 

 

Scared that I won't get any better. Scared that I'll hold and cut, hold and cut, hold and basically feel no different except it will take longer and be more suffering for me to endure.

 

I need some people that went through a fast taper and decided to slow down and saw improvements to share their experience. I need to know this will be helpful and not just dragged out suffering.

 

So the worst thing that could happen is you won't feel any better...but you probably will.  Its a no-risk alternative.

 

Just fyi, I 1) switched from C&H to DLMT, and  2) went from .5mg/2weeks to .25/2 weeks.  Never had any significant sxs after that.

[[lo...]]

These worrysome thoughts themselves are a withdrawal symptom (worrying about withdrawal). I used to make 6-12% cuts every 3 weeks or so, now I make 2% every week on the exact same day and I am sleeping better, anxiety / depression is less, I can talk to people, go out, work, go to the gym, etc. Whereas before, I was seeing and hearing things that weren't there, constantly paranoid and not sleeping, etc. I'll take this instead lol.

 

Also it's just basic brain chemistry. GABA receptors can only heal at a certain rate, so sure, you can get off fast, but you will deal with HELL for a year (lets say, for reference) or slowly taper off over the same amount of time and be healed when you jump.

[[Su...]]

These worrysome thoughts themselves are a withdrawal symptom (worrying about withdrawal). I used to make 6-12% cuts every 3 weeks or so, now I make 2% every week on the exact same day and I am sleeping better, anxiety / depression is less, I can talk to people, go out, work, go to the gym, etc. Whereas before, I was seeing and hearing things that weren't there, constantly paranoid and not sleeping, etc. I'll take this instead lol.

 

Also it's just basic brain chemistry. GABA receptors can only heal at a certain rate, so sure, you can get off fast, but you will deal with HELL for a year (lets say, for reference) or slowly taper off over the same amount of time and be healed when you jump.

 

You are absolutely right, worrying about withdrawal itself  is crippling and I'm glad you've found your own solution  :sick  

[[Tw...]]

If you find that your holding and not getting better after quite some time, just remember when your taper went from doable to where you are now. I actually remember chatting with you around that point initially. That amount that felt doable to come off of is most likely in the ball park of where you might feel stable, meaning it might be a few months to feel relief by just holding. If and when you do decide to stabilize and updose to relieve unnecessary suffering don't beat yourself up. I muscled my way through my last taper years ago on K and was protracted for a really long time. Long enough to have me reinstate bc I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I too couldn't imagine updosing ever and I just didn't know how this process really worked. This time around, discomfort is here but not nearly as bad as when I pushed myself before, way too hard. The end game, if we can, is to come off as level as possible to try and avoid extra suffering as much as possible. Your in my thoughts Dad, I have been in your shoes and I know exactly how you feel unfortunately.

[[Da...]]

What are the chances of holding too long and going into tolerance - I was in tolerance when I started tapering and pretty sure I went back into tolerance when I held 4 weeks in December. I'm not sure if it would be good for me to hold a long time....

 

 

What do you all think?

 

[[bu...]]

What are the chances of holding too long and going into tolerance - I was in tolerance when I started tapering and pretty sure I went back into tolerance when I held 4 weeks in December. I'm not sure if it would be good for me to hold a long time....

 

 

What do you all think?

 

Slim to none.

 

I did a 3 year hold...no problem.

[[Da...]]

One more question - should I still be dosing twice a day at .75mg or should I go down to one dose a day?

[[am...]]

Tolerance withdrawal is part of the withdrawal process, but you can make it way more comfortable by taking your time with your cut size and taper speed. Everyone says that the more doses you take during the day, the better. It spreads it out better for less interdose withdrawal. I never really noticed a big difference with that. 

[[Tw...]]

On K I had to dose 3 times daily on Valium only twice. I'd say less change to your body is better right now.

[[be...]]

Dad to me the biggest obstacle was ridding myself of the fear of the cuts. And knowing that this process takes time. I also have learned to treat my sxs as a sign of healing. The latter one takes time and patience and tons of practice. But if I accept my sxs as healing I feel less concerned about every bump in the road. The what ifs and should I etc left me completely because I listened to my own body. If I screwed up I simply altered my plan accordingly. But I can't tell you what is right for you other than yes try to slow things down. I don't do long holds. Any hold over a few months I see as a temporary cessation of a taper and so what? If that's what you need it's what you need. Do it. Right now if I felt I needed that I'd do it in a heartbeat. I wouldn't see it as a failure but rather a smart move. So to some extent you need to take charge of this because others can suggest what worked for them but they might not be quite right for you. so for now stop what iffing and try to stabilize on whatever dose you're on now. I say that because you seem to be in extreme distress. Ups and downs are normal but your downs seem pretty bad. So collect your thoughts, listen to the many suggestions that people offer (they're all good ones usually), find one or combine some you feel you can handle and move forward. And by moving forward I'm not implying a cut. Perhaps in other cases but not in the state you're in. Moving forward can also mean holding until you're stable. Ultimately it's up to you. B

[[bu...]]

Tolerance withdrawal is part of the withdrawal process, but you can make it way more comfortable by taking your time with your cut size and taper speed. Everyone says that the more doses you take during the day, the better. It spreads it out better for less interdose withdrawal. I never really noticed a big difference with that.

 

Not trying to be nitpicky, but tolerance withdrawal, by definition is NOT "...part of the withdrawal process.

 

Tolerance withdrawal is the emergence of WD sxs while still taking a steady dose of benzo.

[[be...]]

I agree with Builder. Sxs that appear during a hold are simply withdrawal sxs. Unless of course you're holding steady for (an uneducated guess) more than several months. Then I might wonder and possibly resume taper at that point. B

[Guest [Lu...]]

im in tolerance withdrawal and its a singular hell....ugh... im down to 7mg now from 20 though, and pushing on through. My worst times were actually before i even started tapering or had any idea what the hell was going on. near blackouts and indescribable fatigue, dizziness, etc....

 

to just feel "normal" would be the greatest gift of my life. if i survive this i will never look at anything the same again. i will have a new appreciation for life, cause this has been awful.....