Ack, I got the ol' "this could be original anxiety/depression coming through"...

[[tw...]]

Had a doc appointment today, one of many these past 4 weeks. When I was discussing how these could be withdrawal symptoms, she did say, "they could very well be your original anxiety symptoms re-emerging..." Ack - and now I'm doubting myself. Maybe I AM just crazy. She really wants me to go back on the K, but i told her I would only do that as a last resort. I know she's frustrated with me. I'm frustrated with myself.

 

But when I see all these other people on here with the EXACT same symptoms, who are healed after weeks, months of being off, I know that I'm NOT crazy. (although admittedly, BZ WD has definitely made me FEEL a little crazy...)

 

Anyway, I'm going to soldier on. She gave me a prescription for more Atarax, which I took about an hour ago. And now for some reason, i am ALL revved up, with palps, tinnitus, etc. But I also just ate some canned soup, potato chips and had some Gatorade. So no telling what's gotten my all riled up.

 

Oh! And she even posited that I could possibly be bi-polar! I was like, duh - we've talked about this for years. But if I am, it's always been very manageable. So I'm choosing to believe I will be better in a few months. And if not, well, then...I tried. 

[[...]]

I have felt like I'm going crazy many times during taper.

Bi-polar is nothing a doctor can sit and guess just like that

 

Maybe you can't tolerate Atarax ( i get restless and weird after one tab)

Oh potato chips and gatorade  would make me very anxious.

One boiled potato though makes me sleep very good 

You are in WD, your body and mind are healing.

Doctors don't know everything.

 

 

 

[[Jo...]]

Who cares if the Dr. is frustrated with you.  I highly doubt she is at home after work thinking "twinkle makes me so mad.  Why wont she just take her drugs like I tell her?".

 

As far as I am concerned Drs. are there to serve my needs, not the other way around.  Collectively, we have given Drs. too much sway in society.  They are not benzo experts.  They are not scientists.  People go in with an amorphous problem such as anxiety or depression and most Drs. genuinely wants to help, so they do what the have been taught or think has worked for other patients.  They presciebe a drug. 

 

My Dad, was put on Statins for cholesterol.  He is 79 now.  He tries to stay real fit but he is losing muscle mass.  Now I am not 79, but an otherwise fit 79 year old should not be getting weak as rapidly as he has.  I am convinced it is the statins causing his muscles to waste.  Not only that, but he has an 84 year old friend he works out with who was neary killed by the same muscle wasting, and rebounded after quitting the statins.  But he is from the pre-internet generation and hasn't learned to question Drs.  My doctor prescribed me statins for high cholesterol, and 4 weeks later I was in agony doing some reno. work.  My cholesterol levels were lower though, so I guess that's something.  ::)I threw them out and stopped doing blood tests.  I asked the Dr. to send me for a stress test, and a Calcium channel test (to look at arterial buildup) and he says he couldn't because I had no symptoms of heart disease and was very fit.  So, WTF, prescribe statins for a disease that doesn't exist? 

 

And I adore my Dr.  He has been nothing but supportive throughout.  But he is a diagnostician, not a scientist.  I am the benzo, and psych expert of our relationship.  So I gently dictate what I need.  For advice I come here. 

 

Round about way of saying that we are responsible for our own health.

 

I think we also attribute our symptoms to all sorts of external things ( too many chips, chocolate, sugar) when its just withdrawal rearing its ugly head.  That being said, I have to lay low on caffeine, and any drug that causes me stimulation, which is everything except tylenol and ibuprofen. 

[[be...]]

When you are chemically unbalanced the doctor can generally say you are bipolar, which in most cases, you are not. If you read Ashton she tells you that you may suffer from some mental symptoms but she warns doctors not to DX that person at the time, because it will go away after you are done and healed. And yes, I am not bipolar, but the idiot doctor at my detox center said I was and tried to give me Lithium. Well, what did he expect from me after he ripped off 13 mg of Xanax and 40 mg of Paxil at the same time, with no adjunct meds? And still, I showed no signs of bipolar. What a fool! :idiot:

 

Bets

[[be...]]

Doctors shouldn't diagnose any "mental" disorder when you're in withdrawal. Especially the likes of being bipolar. Mine only sees people in benzo withdrawal so he's seen it all. The key for me is letting your doctor know how you're feeling, what you feel you need to do at any given time (usually slow taper down) and basically never let a doctor make you feel like your crazy. You're not. Remember you're your own best advocate and healthcare provider because you feel what you feel. The prescription pad becomes the doctor's friend more often than not. Whoops cholesterol up a bit. Statins! How about some sound nutritional advice? How about research is now (as in legit scientists) are discovering bad cholesterol isn't really all that bad but they're the number one prescribed drugs in the world so big pharma has a lot to lose so we prescribe anyway. Just like oh dear anxiety! Benzos to the rescue rather than alternative therapies. So I'd use caution with doctors. I learned the hard way. Also any doctor who wants you back on the benzos you fought so hard to get off off...beware. It's perfectly normal to need time after discontinuing them to let yourself heal. Days, weeks, months. But this to me is more indicative that you're healing not getting worse. Our minds and bodies got confused on how to behave on theses drugs. Now our minds are simply healing as we move downward and off them. To me the prescription pad is not your friend unless you truly need it for reasons well understood by you.  A prime example is the dreadful overuse of antibiotics. Now doctors know but how long ago was it that you were given an antibiotic for a simple cold? Totally useless for colds. So no you're not crazy. If you are lol we all are. B

[[be...]]

I try not to take ABs for that very reason. Like doctors like to give them out for the common cold..............

[[Ca...]]

Dont let a dr override what u feel is right and true. -if they really think they are right, then they should be able to convince you in a logical way, that you accept, without being pressured...

My Dr knows this (benzo w/d) is very real, but couldnt have imagined it in a milion yrs... (so to speak) But i trust her in the end, as she is happy to play catch up... and she is happy to "debate"..

Most days of late, im sure i could fit the criteria for any ailment in the book... -even scurvy...!

Stay true to you, -no doubt...