Miserable Night

[[Jo...]]

I have been awake all night.  Actually went for a walk at 4:00 am, after taking a walk around 9:30 last night.  Earlier in my taper I would at least sleep 3 or 4 hours on a bad night.  Now, I am getting a complete night with no sleep every few days.  The anxiety is running high.  I haven't figured out how this relates to my cuts whatsoever. 

 

I get all the same symptoms everytime I go through this: high anxiety, fast moving GI issues, restlessness.  When will this end? 

[[Jo...]]

I am wondering if I took on too much too fast.

 

I quit the SSRI 3 months ago after a few months taper.  At the same time I crossed from K to V.  0.5 k to 8 mg V.  Then I started to taper the V. down to where I am at: 6 mg. 

 

Is there too much going on with the combined tapers within a few months of one another?

 

Would it hurt to bring the V. up to eight mg or so and restart in a few weeks. 

 

These sleeping issues are torture. 

 

Thought?

[[Jo...]]

I need some help with this insomnia?

 

Anyone, please?

[[Be...]]

Try and hold your cuts till you feel better, maybe your body needs a break. I had to hold some cuts longer than others.

[[Ca...]]

Hey Gorges,

Im awake... -i so shouldnt be...

I also would try to hold... it sounds like you need a bit of catch up time,  my sleep or lack of sleep has no rhyme or reason to it if i have pushed too hard...  it is easy to be wide awake all night if something messes up my initial attempt to get to sleep... but i know its much harder to sleep when i have cut too hard, even if i dont have any other sx like RLS and stomach cramps arent so bad...

infact, at half a guess, -i would say my worst insomnia is after the worst of my severe post cut sx, and is a sign that things will soon be steadier...  but there are nights i dont sleep after a cut, but more due to sx leeping me awake...

There are things u can do to try and help get u off to sleep, like avoid electronic screens, write down anything thats in your head, sleep aids, etc -infact, i think there is a whole board, thread, post, blog, blurb.(collin???).. -whatever, -a section on bb dedicated to insomnia...  others may suggest sleep supliments or meds, -thats not me. I feel its a sx and needs time to heal in a slow taper with a gentle step off... different if in a hurry or have to work,etc...

I wonder if after a c/o if there can be a long term hickup or two as slight things unique to the old med surface??? (Anyone?)..

Reguardless, holding is all i can see that is a viable option... -then slow and sx guided... heal as u go for a nice gentle step off...

It will pass, -personally, the worst i had was 3 nights with only a few hours total, but that was november/december and i thought i was dying..

 

all the best...

 

 

 

[[be...]]

That's rough Jorge's. I've had a few nights of insomnia as well. Hate them. Last night was one of them. Slept possibly two hours. Got up at 4. Kept waking up for no apparent reason. As far as I can tell it's not related to cuts in the slightest. It just happens. Thing is it's not just benzo people who have this. It's crazy throughout the population in general. My hubby got up at 5. He's not on benzos and never has been. I said how come you're up because I thought I woke him. He said he couldn't sleep almost all night so may as well get up. He's not happy but downstairs having coffee and reading the paper and simply writes it off as a sleepless night. But he's not bothered by it in the slightest. Just grumpy. But if necessary maybe hold for a bit. There's no way I'd updose. For me it's extremely counterproductive. It sucks though. B

[[be...]]

Sorry about those symptoms. I do wonder though, if you are suffering from w/d from the ADs? Paxil can be a beast to come off. Just a thought...............Once I get below 10 mg of Valium I'm gonna take it super slow. Like one drop per month compared to every 14 days today. I'm a scaredy cat.

[[Jo...]]

Thanks Barb, Betsy, Cantfly, and Beat Benzos, 

 

Its very appreciated. 

 

In reference to your husband barb.  That is how it would be before I embarked on this adventure.  If I didnt sleep, I would just get up and do something.  But during this taper the sleeplessness begets extreme anxiety, which just feeds on itself. 

 

I have an appointment with my GP this week.  I will see what he thinks. 

 

Thanks,

[[Jo...]]

Sorry about those symptoms. I do wonder though, if you are suffering from w/d from the ADs? Paxil can be a beast to come off. Just a thought...............Once I get below 10 mg of Valium I'm gonna take it super slow. Like one drop per month compared to every 14 days today. I'm a scaredy cat.

 

Benzogirl,  This thought has crossed my mind, believe me.  I crossed from Effexor to Paxil to make withdrawal easier, and did okay with that.  But I realized the Paxil, like the effexor was ramping me up, so I never reached the full dose.  The taper just sort of happened while I was on 0.5 Cl.  I reduced the P. to 5mg per day, and then started spacing days, according to when I got brain zaps, and then I stopped 3 months ago.  I thought I was free and clear, apparently not. 

 

My emotions just started coming back in the last couple of weeks (happy/sad) crying that I haven't had for 13 years.  So, it would seem that things are still recovering from the Paxil/Effexor use.  Fortunately my Dr. is very aware of SSRI withdrawal.  He mentioned he had one lady who was counting beads from the Effexor capsules. 

 

I meet with my GP this week, for my renewal, and am going to tell him I need a moderate updose to 8 mg V, or even 10 (I was at 7 when I last saw him), and sit at that level for awhile until I reach some degree of stability. 

 

Probably fighting a battle on two fronts is just stupid. 

 

Being a scaredy cat is starting to make alot of sense to me.  When I get good days I swear I can go cold turkey.  Bad days, I succumb to rescue doses which is likely just buggering around and comfusing my body. 

 

Thanks, Al

[[ti...]]

I have been using mirtazapine to sleep. I went a couple of months sleeping only every other night. I know it causes anxiety but it does help to just accept and get up if you are not going to sleep. You can force yourself to stay awake but not to sleep

[[be...]]

You're right Jorges unlike hubby I wake up fairly uncertain and anxious but I force myself to my coffee and then I'm a bit better. But believe me it's forced. I'm doing laundry at the moment but no way did I think I'd be doing that this morning. So I just kept going and bit by small bit the days improving. I can't updose. I've done it I think twice I think but the results made things worse. It's good though you have a doctor's appointment to maybe get something to relieve the insomnia/anxiety. Maybe low dose Remeron. My mom was on Paxil for fibromyalgia. It stopped working and she had a very hard time getting off it. That's something to seriously consider and discuss with your doctor. I can't take SSRIs because they put me on the ceiling but low dose Remeron has been a lifesaver for sleep and no anxiety with it at all. I've been nursing a bad tooth (teeth) since last Thursday so I think the thought of the dentist kept me awake and fearful. Today it's better but if it comes back if I don't phone the dentist hubby will. So trying to keep busy and not think about it. I'm actually petrified it's actually a cavity but I'll know better after supper. I'll need sedation to go so I have a feeling he might stop at our dentist this afternoon while he's out to prepare him for a "scene". And sedation. Unbelievable! He's right but I can't pick up the phone to call. B

[[Jo...]]

You're right Jorges unlike hubby I wake up fairly uncertain and anxious but I force myself to my coffee and then I'm a bit better. But believe me it's forced. I'm doing laundry at the moment but no way did I think I'd be doing that this morning. So I just kept going and bit by small bit the days improving. I can't updose. I've done it I think twice I think but the results made things worse. It's good though you have a doctor's appointment to maybe get something to relieve the insomnia/anxiety. Maybe low dose Remeron. My mom was on Paxil for fibromyalgia. It stopped working and she had a very hard time getting off it. That's something to seriously consider and discuss with your doctor. I can't take SSRIs because they put me on the ceiling but low dose Remeron has been a lifesaver for sleep and no anxiety with it at all. I've been nursing a bad tooth (teeth) since last Thursday so I think the thought of the dentist kept me awake and fearful. Today it's better but if it comes back if I don't phone the dentist hubby will. So trying to keep busy and not think about it. I'm actually petrified it's actually a cavity but I'll know better after supper. I'll need sedation to go so I have a feeling he might stop at our dentist this afternoon while he's out to prepare him for a "scene". And sedation. Unbelievable! He's right but I can't pick up the phone to call. B

 

I got akick out of your dentist situation.  Fortunately I went about 3 months ago, to do practice on my deep breathing, and watch Ellen with the sunglasses on.  Right now my issue is a haircut.  I may have to Neil Young it for awhile, and cut it myself at some point.

 

I have checked back through my records and have sort of identified part of the problem.  I got sloppy and overconfident earlier in January and had 4-5 days where I,took 4.5; 5.0; and 5.5, rather than the 6 I was supposed to.  In effect I cut too fast..  I guess the long half life for Valium meant that my actions two weeks ago caught up with me last week and this week.  Not again.  I am going to choose a number and stay at that for at least two weeks. It will give me more time to recover from the SSRI. 

 

Not beating myself up... but I was being too cavalier.  Two anxious sleepless nights and days have cured me of the need to think I am going quicker by cutting willy-nilly.  I am going to pick up a multidose tablet holder. 

 

Sweet dreams I hope.

[[be...]]

Sweet dreams for you too. Unbelievable I'm watching the hockey game. The Maple Laughs are killing us. Argh! I ate supper though. So far tooth ok. Oh but I need to go. Lol I'll wear sunglasses too. But they always take them off when I'm enjoying the sedation and nitrous oxide. The glasses interfere with the mask. They monitor your blood pressure and depth of sleep though with thing ma jiggys on your temples or else they just want to see if my eyes are opening or not. They expect them to open now and again. But by that point I don't care what they do. B sleep tight   

[[Jo...]]

Sweet dreams for you too. Unbelievable I'm watching the hockey game. The Maple Laughs are killing us. Argh! I ate supper though. So far tooth ok. Oh but I need to go. Lol I'll wear sunglasses too. But they always take them off when I'm enjoying the sedation and nitrous oxide. The glasses interfere with the mask. They monitor your blood pressure and depth of sleep though with thing ma jiggys on your temples or else they just want to see if my eyes are opening or not. They expect them to open now and again. But by that point I don't care what they do. B sleep tight   

 

Well, I slept like a stone.  Much better today. 

 

As we have discussed, the insomnia, or lack of sleep, on its own has never bothered me until the withdrawal.  Its the associated, unrelenting anxiety, that accompanies it these days. 

 

I for sure am tightening up my dosing process and slowing my taper.  I may find out thatnthese insomnia anxiety events just happens for no known reason, so then I guess I just ride them out.  Ot builds confidence to know it will pass and we will sleep again.

 

I grew up in Hamilton as a Habs fan.  Never into the leafs, even though I live in Leaf country now.

[[be...]]

St. Catharines. I too was an huge habs fan. Absolutely loved Boom Boom. And Yvonne C. Then later Guy laFleur. Toronto yuk. Saw LaFleur and Marcel Dionne many times pre their NHL careers watching Quebec against our St. Kits junior A Black Hawks team. Awesome memories.

Thrilled you slept. It always makes us feel better. So I'm in a miserable frame of mind. Once again limited sleep. 2 hours at best. May as well just call the dentist and get this over and done with. The trouble is my nose runs non stop because my allergies are dreadful on these drugs. But last time I was in tolerance and it was May so runny nose then too. I explained my dilemma to them and they just laughed. Said they're pros at runny noses. So unless I've got a chest infection there's no excuse really. I cough a lot too from the runny nose but again they said no worries. I think it's a no win situation. But I'm petrified so not sleeping. Major argh! So even more fearful. Vicious cycle. So if ever I could make a case for a morning rescue dose the dentist would be it. But he gives me 1 dose of halcion to take an hour before I actually have to go so I'm fairly relaxed at that time. I'm just scared it won't work. There's no reason why it won't but of course my imagination runs wild. Things get so overblown on these drugs/wd it's crazy. Simple things get overblown. The dentist I'm frantic. Thing is I can't say much to hubby or he'll seriously make the appointment and drag me there.  My tooth (teeth) hurt again but I'm staying "Mum" about it this morning. So I'm suffering in silence for now. He's a fantastic guy but doesn't mess around with stuff like this. So wish me luck? I'll need it. I'm going to try to call and make sure the dentist sets aside time for my whole entire mouth. Any little unknown cavities, crowns if necessary and cleaning. Absolutely a one shot thing. It's so stupid. Last time I went I actually enjoyed it. Zero pain and zonked enough the sound of the drill was non existent. Could have stayed for days lol quite happily. This is all so crazy I hate it. Need to get off these drugs because I'm hoping my thoughts won't be so scattered in a crisis.  Or frightening. Maybe if I put it out of my mind I'll sleep tonight. See, it never stops. I guess it won't until I go. It's a stupid five minute drive. Which I'll probably not notice anyway. I don't know if I'm talking myself into or out of this. Blah!!!! B  good job sleeping. Honestly happy for you.

[[be...]]

Sorry about those symptoms. I do wonder though, if you are suffering from w/d from the ADs? Paxil can be a beast to come off. Just a thought...............Once I get below 10 mg of Valium I'm gonna take it super slow. Like one drop per month compared to every 14 days today. I'm a scaredy cat.

 

Benzogirl,  This thought has crossed my mind, believe me.  I crossed from Effexor to Paxil to make withdrawal easier, and did okay with that.  But I realized the Paxil, like the effexor was ramping me up, so I never reached the full dose.  The taper just sort of happened while I was on 0.5 Cl.  I reduced the P. to 5mg per day, and then started spacing days, according to when I got brain zaps, and then I stopped 3 months ago.  I thought I was free and clear, apparently not. 

 

My emotions just started coming back in the last couple of weeks (happy/sad) crying that I haven't had for 13 years.  So, it would seem that things are still recovering from the Paxil/Effexor use.  Fortunately my Dr. is very aware of SSRI withdrawal.  He mentioned he had one lady who was counting beads from the Effexor capsules. 

 

I meet with my GP this week, for my renewal, and am going to tell him I need a moderate updose to 8 mg V, or even 10 (I was at 7 when I last saw him), and sit at that level for awhile until I reach some degree of stability. 

 

Probably fighting a battle on two fronts is just stupid. 

 

Being a scaredy cat is starting to make alot of sense to me.  When I get good days I swear I can go cold turkey.  Bad days, I succumb to rescue doses which is likely just buggering around and comfusing my body. 

 

Thanks, Al

 

Hi Al:

 

That seems like a good plan to me. Try not to do any CT, even if you feel well. I did two and they were by far the worst experiences of my life. The fact that your emotions are coming back is a good sign of healing, so take heart in that. I'm glad you are off Paxil. I was on only 3 mg (liquid) and I went crazy with anxiety. I also got into a manic state which was actually fun, but not good long term. At least I got the entire house clean. My brother had a devil of a time getting off Paxil. He's still suffering, poor thing. I try to avoid rescue doses, and so far, haven't taken any. But who knows how I will feel later on??

 

Betsy

[[Jo...]]

St. Catharines. I too was an huge habs fan. Absolutely loved Boom Boom. And Yvonne C. Then later Guy laFleur. Toronto yuk. Saw LaFleur and Marcel Dionne many times pre their NHL careers watching Quebec against our St. Kits junior A Black Hawks team. Awesome memories.

Thrilled you slept. It always makes us feel better. So I'm in a miserable frame of mind. Once again limited sleep. 2 hours at best. May as well just call the dentist and get this over and done with. The trouble is my nose runs non stop because my allergies are dreadful on these drugs. But last time I was in tolerance and it was May so runny nose then too. I explained my dilemma to them and they just laughed. Said they're pros at runny noses. So unless I've got a chest infection there's no excuse really. I cough a lot too from the runny nose but again they said no worries. I think it's a no win situation. But I'm petrified so not sleeping. Major argh! So even more fearful. Vicious cycle. So if ever I could make a case for a morning rescue dose the dentist would be it. But he gives me 1 dose of halcion to take an hour before I actually have to go so I'm fairly relaxed at that time. I'm just scared it won't work. There's no reason why it won't but of course my imagination runs wild. Things get so overblown on these drugs/wd it's crazy. Simple things get overblown. The dentist I'm frantic. Thing is I can't say much to hubby or he'll seriously make the appointment and drag me there.  My tooth (teeth) hurt again but I'm staying "Mum" about it this morning. So I'm suffering in silence for now. He's a fantastic guy but doesn't mess around with stuff like this. So wish me luck? I'll need it. I'm going to try to call and make sure the dentist sets aside time for my whole entire mouth. Any little unknown cavities, crowns if necessary and cleaning. Absolutely a one shot thing. It's so stupid. Last time I went I actually enjoyed it. Zero pain and zonked enough the sound of the drill was non existent. Could have stayed for days lol quite happily. This is all so crazy I hate it. Need to get off these drugs because I'm hoping my thoughts won't be so scattered in a crisis.  Or frightening. Maybe if I put it out of my mind I'll sleep tonight. See, it never stops. I guess it won't until I go. It's a stupid five minute drive. Which I'll probably not notice anyway. I don't know if I'm talking myself into or out of this. Blah!!!! B  good job sleeping. Honestly happy for you.

 

Well good lick.  :-)   

 

Halcion,  I wonder if my barber has some? 

[[Jo...]]

Sorry about those symptoms. I do wonder though, if you are suffering from w/d from the ADs? Paxil can be a beast to come off. Just a thought...............Once I get below 10 mg of Valium I'm gonna take it super slow. Like one drop per month compared to every 14 days today. I'm a scaredy cat.

 

Benzogirl,  This thought has crossed my mind, believe me.  I crossed from Effexor to Paxil to make withdrawal easier, and did okay with that.  But I realized the Paxil, like the effexor was ramping me up, so I never reached the full dose.  The taper just sort of happened while I was on 0.5 Cl.  I reduced the P. to 5mg per day, and then started spacing days, according to when I got brain zaps, and then I stopped 3 months ago.  I thought I was free and clear, apparently not. 

 

My emotions just started coming back in the last couple of weeks (happy/sad) crying that I haven't had for 13 years.  So, it would seem that things are still recovering from the Paxil/Effexor use.  Fortunately my Dr. is very aware of SSRI withdrawal.  He mentioned he had one lady who was counting beads from the Effexor capsules. 

 

I meet with my GP this week, for my renewal, and am going to tell him I need a moderate updose to 8 mg V, or even 10 (I was at 7 when I last saw him), and sit at that level for awhile until I reach some degree of stability. 

 

Probably fighting a battle on two fronts is just stupid. 

 

Being a scaredy cat is starting to make alot of sense to me.  When I get good days I swear I can go cold turkey.  Bad days, I succumb to rescue doses which is likely just buggering around and comfusing my body. 

 

Thanks, Al

 

Hi Al:

 

That seems like a good plan to me. Try not to do any CT, even if you feel well. I did two and they were by far the worst experiences of my life. The fact that your emotions are coming back is a good sign of healing, so take heart in that. I'm glad you are off Paxil. I was on only 3 mg (liquid) and I went crazy with anxiety. I also got into a manic state which was actually fun, but not good long term. At least I got the entire house clean. My brother had a devil of a time getting off Paxil. He's still suffering, poor thing. I try to avoid rescue doses, and so far, haven't taken any. But who knows how I will feel later on??

 

Betsy

 

Thanks,  I took wellbutrin for a week to quit smoking years ago. I was awake 24/7, active, real busy, and felt okay for a week.  Realized I was nuts, and stopped the drug.  Quit smoking later on, for years, and started and stopped, and started and stopped.  Kinda of like Mark Twain. 

[[be...]]

Habs crushed us too. Turned if off early. No I doubt barbers have halcion but ya never know. Definitely think the flames somehow got their hands on some. Dentist still working out the logistics of my visit due to old drugs gone...new ones in... Still sitting anxious and frightful for them to call. Crazy but I guess I just want to know and get it over. It would be nice to get SOME sleep again. Then again can always watch the Ottawa game whenever that's on and snooze away with the Flames. Anxiety is bad but I find anticipatory anxiety so much worse. And life goes on...yawn! B

[[ke...]]

I am wondering if I took on too much too fast.

 

I quit the SSRI 3 months ago after a few months taper.  At the same time I crossed from K to V.  0.5 k to 8 mg V.  Then I started to taper the V. down to where I am at: 6 mg. 

 

Is there too much going on with the combined tapers within a few months of one another?

 

Would it hurt to bring the V. up to eight mg or so and restart in a few weeks. 

 

These sleeping issues are torture. 

 

Thought?

 

Consider a low dose of remeron (15 to 30 mgs) taken at night. Potent sleep inducer and may help mood a bit. Also an appetite stimulant.

[[be...]]

I think of you take more than 15 mg, it turns into an AD and not a sleep inducer. Just my thoughts......................