My attachment to fear

[[bl...]]

I had a friend tell me today that I'm attached to fear and I realized that he's 100% correct. And, so I began to ask what I can do to change that. The answer that came to me was quite simple. I need to stand up to it, but how?

 

What am I afraid of?

 

Everything. I fear mornings. I fear the blue sky above. I fear an unkind word from my boss. I fear financial ruin. I fear losing my possessions, my house, my livelihood.

 

What livelihood though? I have no livelihood. I let life pass me by because I'm scared of it. Why do I care what my boss says? They're just words. Why do I worry about my finances? They were never really good to begin with.

 

I think so much of fear, that it has become ingrained in my subconscious, part of my DNA.

 

What do I do to deprogram myself? Any advice is appreciated.

[[wo...]]

blandthrax,

 

Oh, how I can empathize with you concerning the fear.  Sheer terror and panic are my worst symptoms.

 

There are tons of GABA receptors in our amydgalas and that's where the terror is coming from.  It's chemically produced fear, meaning it's not real.  But it takes me to my knees.

 

How to deal with it?  Don't know, but I keep searching.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

ty

[[bl...]]

Yeah, I'm well acquainted with the amygdala and I've been able to shrink it enough in the past to where I was feeling quite content at times. I've been reading up on it lately, fear that is, and I keep seeing this emphasis on deep breathing as a way of overriding the fear response. I'm like, "oh really? That's all there is to it? Just breathing."

 

I did a little research and discovered there's actually some neuroscience behind it.

 

http://drdavidhamilton.com/a-strategy-for-overcoming-worry-fear-or-anxiety/

 

FTA:

 

Here’s what you do. Each time the worry, fear or anxiety surfaces, take a comfortable breath, focusing all of your attention on the act of breathing – the sound, the sensation in your nostrils, the movement of your tummy or chest. By doing this, you interrupt the flow of brain resources towards the worry areas and instead send resources towards the prefrontal cortex (the bit above your eyes). It’s an area at the front of your brain that’s associated with conscious control. This is because you are consciously controlling something; in this case, your breath. This prefrontal cortex, among other areas, is active when we focus our attention on our breath.

 

It sounds easy on paper and initially the positive effect might only last a moment or two and you might find yourself having to do it 2, 3 or even 10 times in a row. This is where the work comes in. You almost need to be relentless, focusing on your breath every time the fearful thought or feeling arises. The technique is not for everyone as some might find it tiring and you might also doubt it could actually work.

 

But it can bring powerful results if you keep it up for a few days. Within that time, as neuroplasticity occurs to build the prefrontal cortex while at the same time shrinking the amygdala, you might notice a little letting-up of your fearful thoughts and feelings. Keeping the practice up for a few weeks might produce lasting results.

 

Interestingly, I just sat down and did some pranayama, specifically Kapalbhati, which is a forced exhalation technique followed by holds of around 30-60 seconds, and it worked. This is the calmest I've felt all day.

 

I just need to get a grip and shrink my amygdala so that I can function like a normal freakin' human being but honestly, there's no reason why I shouldn't be using the tools I have at my disposal.

[[Vi...]]

Hi I'm practising deep breathing for a wile. Dos not working for me. Still sevire anxiety and headache all the time. Sheer fear I never going to heal and have to leave rest of my life with this pain. Meditating, resting eating well some exercise... nothing helps. Hopefully time will heal.

Keep fighting!

[[wa...]]

Good observation -- I'm usually pretty active on the health anxiety threads with so much fear.  I project all kinds of terrible health probs on top of the usual post jump anxiety sxs.  When i read my posts i am astonished how full of fear I am.  I get eally embarrassed but the primitive "lizard" brain takes over.  Fear wears me out and for some reason is worse at sundown - which is like "sundowner syndrome" which usually effects folks older than I but I think it is an animal process that effects everyone to a greater or lesser degree.  I'll start breathing again. 

 

I doubt we're "attached" to anxiety -- it is more like an annoyingly familiar sensation which takes measures to reduce.  WBB

[[er...]]

Fear is a popular topic in AA, and I've been to many meetings where this is discussed and have learned a lot about it from some hard work.

 

I agree with some of the scientific talk mentioned in this thread, but for me, that knowledge isn't worth much.  We learn in AA that "self knowledge avails us nothing", and as you say you want to "de-program" yourself from being in so much fear, so I can only offer my experience, which is, when I live in the solution, the problem fades away, and the solution to fear is faith, as they simply can not coincide together.

 

I realize some people bristle when they hear "AA", but the wisdom of its teachings are gathered from the 4 corners of the globe, and is a guide for living that really works.  Lately, I'm really getting back into it 110%, because I need some good brainwashing after all of this benzo induced nightmare, and besides outgrowing fear, the steps also get rid of the guilt and shame I've experienced from things in life, as well as the effects from this sordid affair with clonazepam.

 

If anyone has any questions about what I'm talking about, please feel free to pm me. 

 

Best, Eric

[[er...]]

Fear is a popular topic in AA, and I've been to many meetings where this is discussed and have learned a lot about it from some hard work.

 

I agree with some of the scientific talk mentioned in this thread, but for me, that knowledge isn't worth much.  We learn in AA that "self knowledge avails us nothing", and as you say you want to "de-program" yourself from being in so much fear, so I can only offer my experience, which is, when I live in the solution, the problem fades away, and the solution to fear is faith, as they simply can not coincide together.

 

I realize some people bristle when they hear "AA", but the wisdom of its teachings are gathered from the 4 corners of the globe, and is a guide for living that really works.  Lately, I'm really getting back into it 110%, because I need some good brainwashing after all of this benzo induced nightmare, and besides outgrowing fear, the steps also get rid of the guilt and shame I've experienced from things in life, as well as the effects from this sordid affair with clonazepam.

 

If anyone has any questions about what I'm talking about, please feel free to pm me. 

 

Best, Eric

 

I just wanted to add that, even though I "know" the above will work for me, it takes a lot of practice, hard work, time, and guidance from others who have been able to outgrow their fears.  A few hours ago I just found myself in lots of fears, similar to those mentioned in the original post, but the truth is most of our fears are bullshit and never happen.

 

FEAR, is also: "False Evidence Appearing Real"

[[Wi...]]

I had unquenchable terror for the first 5-6 months but its quieted down tremendouly within a 2 week period. I believe time is the only thing that cures the fear. Try to remember its glutamate fueled-irratiional AND it will go away when gaba returns to nullify the glutamate. I prayed constantly. I STILL do!