Call of the void

[[Da...]]

I just read something about a phenomenon called "Call of the void".

 

This came from another source:

 

the call of the void is the thought to jump off the ledge you are standing on; wondering what would happen if you drove your car into another car or person; it is the thought of "I could kill someone so easily right now" when holding a knife, hammer, or what have you. it is the insane desire of our unconscious, but it is nothing to worry about unless you relish and enjoy these thoughts.

 

I have this thoughts also at above examples and am glad I'm not insane.

 

However I'm more aware now That it happens a lot more since withdrawing.

Not that I will jump in front of a train in the morning when going to work, but more the thoughts that can come up just spontaniously of me jumpingin front of the train makes me really anxcious.

 

Someone else familiar with the phenomenon "Call of the void" and when you do, does it affect your life now while withdrawing?

 

P.s I am NOT suicidal or something 😜, just curious

 

 

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

I've heard that some people who walk across the Golden Gate (or any major) bridge are confronted with a similar feeling.

[[El...]]

I've had these thoughts before and after benzo. If I was waiting for the train I would think like, if I jumped now I would be gone in one sec, or as said above, walking bridges I always think that, or driving, if I don't turn now I would easily be gone. I never have or had a desire to die, to me it's been kinda fact thoughts, though they've been stronger and heavyer under w/d.

They don't scare me, I'm kinda used to myself and the sometimes weird ways I think. I think I sometimes have an over active brain writing books continuously 

[[Da...]]

Thanks for the replies! I don't know. Most of the times it didn't bother me that much. I know now that during the withrawal worrying about something can become an obsession easily. No matter what subject  .

 

Think I should not worry about it and try to relax during this fantastic ride of withrawing .

 

 

[[El...]]

It will pass, I'm over them as obsessive thoughts now, they're now just like they where before, just thought flying by in my head. Actually all my looping thoughts has more or less vanished now.

[[Re...]]

I just read something about a phenomenon called "Call of the void".

 

This came from another source:

 

the call of the void is the thought to jump off the ledge you are standing on; wondering what would happen if you drove your car into another car or person; it is the thought of "I could kill someone so easily right now" when holding a knife, hammer, or what have you. it is the insane desire of our unconscious, but it is nothing to worry about unless you relish and enjoy these thoughts.

 

I have this thoughts also at above examples and am glad I'm not insane.

 

However I'm more aware now That it happens a lot more since withdrawing.

Not that I will jump in front of a train in the morning when going to work, but more the thoughts that can come up just spontaniously of me jumpingin front of the train makes me really anxcious.

 

Someone else familiar with the phenomenon "Call of the void" and when you do, does it affect your life now while withdrawing?

 

P.s I am NOT suicidal or something , just curious

 

I must be living in the void, my thoughts have been spooky spooky spooky. For a while i couldn't even hold a knife without imagining slowly pulling it up to my face to slice it open (intrusive thoughts). Interesting post my friend, this effected my life a lot in the beginning . The constant dark thoughts made me isolate ,Now i am used to them and they are a lot less severe than before. They are worse for me during a bad wave. I had to stay away from all ledges and high windows in the early days as well. Same thing you described i would picture myself jumping over and over again so i just avoided it.

[[Da...]]

I can imagine that it can isolate you. Pretty heavy story Remy, I hope you are doing better.

 

Feeling is a lot less today, but still a strange thought.

 

Wish you all the best! 

 

 

 

[[Fi...]]

I've heard of this expressed as "being attracted to the headlights of an oncoming car".

 

Apparently, it is a very very common phenomenon and not confined to Benzo users - but, of course, every manner of quirky fear is amplified in our current condition.

 

It will all pass with time. I had a thing about knives for awhile too. Quite gone now.

 

 

[[Ro...]]

Thoughts are habits too right? So I think we can train ourselves to not have these thoughts in a healthy way (i.e. not suppressing - rather acknowledging and saying ok, I am now done with these kind of thoughts as they don't serve me in any way)

[[Da...]]

Yeah I think you can train it. I had it less severe before the whole taper and withdraw.

 

 

Training the mind while withdrawing is like training for a marathon with broken legs I think 

[[Tr...]]

I'm wondering if this is different than suicidal ideation? Has anyone been in the Guggenheim in NYC, where there is a five story spiraling balcony over an empty central atrium? When I'm up there I don't feel afraid of falling, I feel afraid of jumping. It's not really suicidal though, maybe?

...

 

I'm 46 now but when I was 25 I felt an intense "call of the void" once when I was driving my car and was overwhelmed with a desire to crash into a tree. I was crushed by money problems and didn't see any way out.

 

This turned into a huge turning point for me and I completely turned myself around. I actually started a new life on that day because I felt like I had nothing to lose. It was actually liberating to bring myself back from the edge and think to myself that nothing really mattered as much as the fact that I was alive. No problem could be so bad that I needed to end my life. I couldn't let these things overpower me. I reached out to my parents and friends for help and made some important decisions to change my life for the better.

 

I've had plenty of tough times since then but also periods of great joy and happiness. Coming back from the void is so important because you can't let temporary situations keep you from enjoying the life you've been given.

[[Ro...]]

I think it's only at the precipice that we can really change. It's a profound experience. I also lost a lot. And i mean a LOOOOOOOOTTT. Going through the process of ego death was quite a spectacle and took me a good 2 years. After that one is emotionally free of course. the physical aspect is of course a different story. Pure negative reinforcement with my dependence - zilch cravings. I assume you can relate somehow.

 

I feel free in my mind but not in my body yet.

 

Yoga helps a great deal, as does meditation, reading scientific/psychology/sociology books and contemplating.

 

Once I started reading widely in terms of first or 2nd year social science books, neuroscience etc it really made so muc more clear about life.

 

For example thath humans are bad judges of their ability or level of honesty. Totally fascinating and knowledge of that can help us live a better life.

 

I'm rambling. Hope it inspired somebody at least a tiny winy bit