HOW DO I START OVER AT 45 AFTER LOSING EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF BENZO WITHDRAWAL? ?

[[in...]]

I just turned 45 and Im in the long process of recovering from benzos. I posted a few months ago about the unbelievable losses I've sustained from clonopin withdrawal. Lost my 20 yr corporate marketing career, over 200,000.00, my home, 15 yrs of my life, friends etc.

 

Now I'm very very slowly healing but it will probably another six months til I can even work a very basic job.

 

I never knew this level of devastation was possible. I was career and goal oriented, an athlete in high school and college, never did any type of drug and drank only occasionally.  I just can't believe in a million years that a little one milligram pill that i took as perscribed could have destroyed me so thoroughly. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically.

 

Is it even possible to start over again at 45? Who will ever hire me with a gaping whole of years in my resume? How will I ever save enough money to retire? Will I ever even be normal again? 

 

IT JUST FEELS AND SEEMS UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE. I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO HAVE EVEN AN OUNCE OF HOPE.

[[Da...]]

This thing costs us so much, I also lost my business, my partner, and I have had to use retirement money to live off of. I am 53 yo. I share the fear I will not be able to find a job. It is a super scary world out there and it is going to be very difficult to start over. We just have to do it and hope for the best. At least we should heal at some point so we can get on with our lives.

[[Su...]]

I just turned 45 and Im in the long process of recovering from benzos. I posted a few months ago about the unbelievable losses I've sustained from clonopin withdrawal. Lost my 20 yr corporate marketing career, over 200,000.00, my home, 15 yrs of my life, friends etc.

 

Now I'm very very slowly healing but it will probably another six months til I can even work a very basic job.

 

I never knew this level of devastation was possible. I was career and goal oriented, an athlete in high school and college, never did any type of drug and drank only occasionally.  I just can't believe in a million years that a little one milligram pill that i took as perscribed could have destroyed me so thoroughly. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically.

 

Is it even possible to start over again at 45? Who will ever hire me with a gaping whole of years in my resume? How will I ever save enough money to retire? Will I ever even be normal again? 

 

IT JUST FEELS AND SEEMS UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE. I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO HAVE EVEN AN OUNCE OF HOPE.

 

The same as many others I lost everything too!  The only way is to rebuild your life and carry on otherwise you will go down a course of bitterness and self-destruction -- so it is worth it?  You've come through it so be thankful for that is my suggestion and move forwards and upwards.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow -- live for today!  Money and possessions aren't the be all and end all in life but having good health is.  Without good health life is meaningless so be thankful and positive that you have a life left to live -- anything can happen and we could die within an instant so make the most of the life you have left because in the final analysis, however much we have suffered, whatever we have lost, we cannot get it back so it's useless to keep ruminating and regretting what is past. Forgive, forget, live life and be happy!

[[ca...]]

My advice is, don't look back! 45 isn't that old, I'm 65 and I am not dead yet! I'll be damned if I will let this ruin the rest of my life! You are probably more health conscious, which is a good thing. We will question everything! I wish this had never happened but it did and will have to move on, a little wiser. Use what you have experienced to help others! The public needs to know about how harmful pharmaceuticals as a whole are. 

[[be...]]

I'm 50 w similar losses, looking ahead w hope. AS I write this am in a wave that comes and goes but windows are becoming more frequent.

I recently educated myself on the stock market and am trading in the biotech market w a focus on legalized marijuana. Good time killer and bigggggg bux.

[[Be...]]

At least you are off drugs.

 

You could look into working as an independent consultant when you are ready.

 

 

[[...]]

You are going to get back to yourself, and you'll figure out a way to pick up the pieces when you are ready.

Right now you need to focus on now - how to hang right now. Stop worrying about the future. Worry is like a rocking chair; you feel you're moving but you're not going anywhere.

Right now you're alive, and you're regaining your health. That's important.

Tell yourself you are going to mourn your losses and deal with their outcomes when you get better. Now is not the right time.

Be well.

[[ma...]]

Yes  The Word is scary on Xanax i did not need friends. And can not go back to work . The tapering took a long time. Now the Word is not "shining" anmore Donna

[[re...]]

I hear you loud and clear.  I'm 50 and lost my wife, career, money, and friends to these pills.  Gone.  It started when I was taking them and the coup de grace was the taper and withdrawal.  I am completely starting over.  I am working in my field again but I am not the person and creative I was.  Far from it.  I think the hardest part of all this was the loss of people I genuinely thought cared for me.  People who I was friends with, who I worked with and who I helped to become the major successes they are today.  There are other painful things that I could share but suffice to say...I am faced with incredibly difficult circumstances at a time when I can barely think and at a time in my life that I shouldn't have to think about these things.

 

Yes, we are suffering.  Yes, we've lost so much.  Yes, this is not we imagined our lives would be.  But, in the end, choosing to get off these drugs is something that we should be proud of and celebrate.  We don't know what's coming tomorrow but we can take solace in the fact that we are taking control of our minds and bodies again.  We are taking our lives back.  And that's pretty cool, no?

 

 

[[...]]

Thank you for that. Maybe I should've been more validating.

 

[[pa...]]

I just turned 45 and Im in the long process of recovering from benzos. I posted a few months ago about the unbelievable losses I've sustained from clonopin withdrawal. Lost my 20 yr corporate marketing career, over 200,000.00, my home, 15 yrs of my life, friends etc.

 

Now I'm very very slowly healing but it will probably another six months til I can even work a very basic job.

 

I never knew this level of devastation was possible. I was career and goal oriented, an athlete in high school and college, never did any type of drug and drank only occasionally.  I just can't believe in a million years that a little one milligram pill that i took as perscribed could have destroyed me so thoroughly. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically.

 

Is it even possible to start over again at 45? Who will ever hire me with a gaping whole of years in my resume? How will I ever save enough money to retire? Will I ever even be normal again? 

 

IT JUST FEELS AND SEEMS UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE. I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO HAVE EVEN AN OUNCE OF HOPE.

 

Hi I....

 

I've been a member of BB since 2010.  When I joined, it was to obtain a tapering program for my husband.  After he being on this drug for a few months and seeing how things unraveled with him, not knowing why this was happening, I found the truth in researching online, I found the Ashton manual.  I then found out the total truth of what happened to me 26 years prior and that was in 2010.

 

Everyone can and does heal from this totally.  There are many things that ones can do to help, and to stay away from that create more havoc through this recovery.

 

Yes, this journey creates a havoc and can destroy everything we were, we had, minimize everything down to nothing, and it does. Though, I'm here to share with you, something other than destruction takes place.  A transformation with so many gifts, and no one going through this can even fathom or attach to this going through this... so many gifts occur for ones when this is behind them.  What no one going through this, and they cannot due to all taking place... the gifts are in place and growing.

When it becomes part of past of what all go through, they then understand the gifts they truly earned from this.

 

45... you are young.  At this point with all that you have lost as you stated..  horrible.  But you are young!  I know you don't feel this way at this point, as you shared... "how to start over".  I can only say, you'll be amazed when you understand and feel what I shared...  The gifts are a basket provided to you.  You'll have no questions or thoughts "how to start over"... As you understand, "you have a new beginning".. and will feel that within you, like you are a young chap, who has a new second chance in life, but in such a new way.  You'll understand this up ahead.

 

For now... as difficult as it is, and I understand it so.  Try to put your focus forward, not behind.  See ahead...

 

Thoughts and prayers with you.

 

Pattylu